I thought I knew myself...now I realized that I never did...I am a much more confused person that I thought I was...
My graduation recital is just a week and one day away...my mind is screwed up...and freezes everytime I try to imagine how my recital will turn out...
Questions twirl around my mind...Will I remember my lines??...my chord changes??...Will my brain grow mushrooms at the last minute...and decides to leave me to my doom??...If I do embarrass myself...how tarnished will my image be?...will all this suspense and willful thinking be worth my while??...my weaknesses exposed, and my strengths to the challenge...how will I fare??...
You know...I never really believed that this day would come...I guess a part of me always thought that I'd be studying FOREVER...and now the day is finally here, I find that I do not know how to handle it...
One minute I will be thinking, "Jeez, I don't want this day to come...I will never be able to make it on stage in one piece...I will probably be grinning there like a mindless idiot for the whole one hour...and after that, hide in the dungeon that I've prepared for myself...and if I do come out for some fresh air, I will make sure that I have good supply of Loony Tunes Mask...or even Ultraman, for that matter..."
And the next split second, I will be thinking..."Jeez, when will this day come??...Can it come already??...I don't think I can take this suspense anymore...just wish I could get this over and done with...I can't wait for the second that I'm able to lay down on my pillow and not dream about my recital anymore..."...(if you noticed, I'm writing this post, at an insane hour of 4:40am...an unholy hour to be writing any post at all...and no, it wasn't the workload this time...just me)
Deciding on which thought I'd prefer, just drives me bonkers...
My graduation recital is just a week and one day away...my mind is screwed up...and freezes everytime I try to imagine how my recital will turn out...
Questions twirl around my mind...Will I remember my lines??...my chord changes??...Will my brain grow mushrooms at the last minute...and decides to leave me to my doom??...If I do embarrass myself...how tarnished will my image be?...will all this suspense and willful thinking be worth my while??...my weaknesses exposed, and my strengths to the challenge...how will I fare??...
You know...I never really believed that this day would come...I guess a part of me always thought that I'd be studying FOREVER...and now the day is finally here, I find that I do not know how to handle it...
One minute I will be thinking, "Jeez, I don't want this day to come...I will never be able to make it on stage in one piece...I will probably be grinning there like a mindless idiot for the whole one hour...and after that, hide in the dungeon that I've prepared for myself...and if I do come out for some fresh air, I will make sure that I have good supply of Loony Tunes Mask...or even Ultraman, for that matter..."
And the next split second, I will be thinking..."Jeez, when will this day come??...Can it come already??...I don't think I can take this suspense anymore...just wish I could get this over and done with...I can't wait for the second that I'm able to lay down on my pillow and not dream about my recital anymore..."...(if you noticed, I'm writing this post, at an insane hour of 4:40am...an unholy hour to be writing any post at all...and no, it wasn't the workload this time...just me)
Deciding on which thought I'd prefer, just drives me bonkers...
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