Tough Love...

Dear students...

Congratulations on your results for your theory exam...That moment was indeed rewarding and blissful, no?...All your hard work and commitment did pay off...I am very proud of all of you...seriously...

Enjoy your much-deserved euphoric moment...Enjoy it for the next 2 weeks...

Because come next month, we are all on level ground again on a harder and more tiring journey...Tempers will flare...at least, mine will....Patience may grow thin...(me, guilty again)...School exams will want to take precedence (as it always have been), and expectations will ride heavy on your shoulders...You may have arguments with your parents. Your teachers/parents/friends/fellow students of various clubs might send you murderous vibes for ditching lessons/tuition/being made to be your driver/listening to you playing over and over the same songs...or for just merely taking up too much oxygen and space...

For those who didn't get through the exam, tough luck...that's all I've got to say...I have said all I have to, repeated myself like a CD player gone nuts...stressing on commitment, and perseverance...students of your age, I would have expected a certain amount of discipline and responsibility from you...but should you choose to go party with your friends, or one month of vacation overseas over extra theory classes...that is beyond my help...we have talked about this before the registration of your theory exam...and being well aware of the pressure standing before you, yet you chose the path you choose...well, like I said...tough luck...we will just have to aim for the next exam...and hopefully, no more parties and wat-nots...

My advice for both parties – Suck it up...Don’t whinge...Don't cry...and move on....You're kids no more...

For we’re not done yet...In fact, we are just beginning our journey...

And it is on this journey that I would advice you to reflect on your past experience...How have you been learning so far?...Are you proud of the effort that you have put in?...How far more are you willing to go?...And most importantly...how much have you grown as a young adolescent and an intelligent musician?

Contemplate on these questions… then remind yourself to be humble...

Be humble...This is my advice which would also serve as a warning, for I would personally choose a student of humble nature over musical talent with a bad attitude...Bluntly put, if I sense any cockiness and smart-arsed remarks from you, I will sit on you real hard...or worst yet, you will be replaced....till you get your act together once more...

Above all, enjoy the music making...Play with your soul...Play because you want to...

Play, just because....

If you can do that, I think you’re the right person for this...

See you in June...

Hugz,

Lessajinomoto

Confidence dearest

Dear self esteem,

You suck, you know that??...long have I entertained your whiny little voice (20 odd years!!!)...your words tells me that you would rather not be involved in whatever that I have hoped to do...your actions show that you would prefer to stand back, and watch the world go by...but you're such a domineering little dweeb, aren't you??...

Quit hogging and leeching on me, will ya...if you ain't gonna help me, then stand aside...thanks to you, I have seen opportunities dropped by to say hi...only to leave, when I am afraid to approach them...times when I'd rather sleep, to escape those depressing thoughts, just so I can get a moment's peace...

Stop moping around and get back on your feet...throwing yourself a self-pity party never works...you should have known that by now...I make and live my own life...and I am responsible for what I think or do...and you're going to work this out with me...no more demeaning thoughts...they stay outside...no more sorry and regretful statements of how I were never given a chance in the past...shut up...cause the present and the future is all that matters...the present and the future, the story isn't written yet...every minute of one's future, is an opportunity in itself...so I am given a chance afterall...so you can stop grumbling...

Back to work, you twerp...smile once in a while, will ya...if you don't feel like it, at least fake it...it will help me more than you'll ever know...

By the way...you OWE me...its high time, don't you think??...

Lessajinomoto

I believe in CHANGE...

To the leaders of Malaysia,

Last year, President of USA, Barack Obama made a moving speech, on the 'Change We Need'...Though I live at the other end of the world, I too, would echo his words, as I too believe in change...many will say that I am pretty naive and idealistic to even hope for one...some have even advised that "This is the reality of life...accept it...life will be less disappointing when you do"...well, I have not lived through life long enough to be broken-spirited (yet)...*fingers crossed*...so as long as there is still breath left in me, I will continue to hope...

I must confess, though...that there are many a times when things seemed all too depressing, and beyond help...makes me wonder, if hanging on to my stands and principles in life, were of any good...so far, they have brought me ridicule...of course, for my own self, I earned self-respect...but in general, it tested my faith...and I find myself standing on shaky ground...

Our beloved country is in crisis...the leadership transition has never been this crucial...whomever is chosen, will either lead us to great success...or drown us in a gut-wrenching sea of chaos...Democracy is hanging by a thread as it is...everyday, newspaper are filled with certain politicians being accused of money-politicking...bribery...all obvious moves to bring down one's opponent...to tear down the integrity of your fellow mate, whom you once called friend...

Its a jungle out there, in the political world...one that I would never comprehend, nor would I be interested to...but our land of glory needs a clear direction...she needs to hear the shouts of war...fighting to overcome the financial tsunami that has hit her fellow children...The recent economic depression has led to much social unrest...I do not think we need dosage of political adventure in our daily lives...watching you amuse yourself with petty arguments and differences when clearly, you should be looking out for common interest...and for your people who is in need of your help...

Hence, here is my plea...

We want to hear of concrete evidence and wise actions of our leaders on getting on top of the economic downturn...we want to be assured that we are able to fend of the effects...and survive the darkess hour...United, we stay strong...Divided, and we become weak...as we have yet to recover from the hit, dwelling on the past and dealing political cards for a win is hardly helpful...

So the UMNO presidential meeting would be coming up next week...but before any cabinet is established, whatsoever...it is in my opinion, that the government is in need of a good detoxification before it can function as one body...literally, an internal cleansing...starting from the top...

Yes, I am asking that the leaders of Malaysia hit a growth spurt, and start taking their jobs seriously...I would want to hear more about our economy, and less about the foolish pussies that has nothing to do, but to pick a racial card...and start throwing members out of the Parliament...

If I were to come clean, I will tell you that I am on the brink of slipping into skeptical hopelessness...as I watch tensely from the bench...I am constantly fighting the tempation within myself...the temptation to forgo all hope...and live a life void of all emotions...but as much as I may rant and complaint about my country...I am still willing to stand for Malaysia...and all that it represents...

Brainless Morons...

So yes, I am going to rant a little today...a lot, in fact...if only I could get my brain to work normally...I think I have a right to feel pissed...and I have a feeling that I am going to stay that way for a long time more...

Some moron parked his car so close to mine, that I could not open my driver's car door...that a**hole...can't even stay within the blardy parking box...you had to tread in mine...and to make things worse, my driver's door has a chip mark as big as a 10 cent coin...no prize for guessing what happened...it must be that moron's friend who was PMS-ing on the passenger seat...choosing to open his door so freakin' wide and rough, the door brushed against mine and got stuck...in its impatience, he pulled his door back, resulting to chipping some paint off my door...

FYI, I just painted my beloved car, a year ago...deep, maroon red...really nice...and expensive too...

If it was just a black scrape, I would not mind so much....nor be bothered about it...my car is a maroon red, so you would not be able to see the mark, unless you were to sit in front of it and stare...But in this case, the paint was chipped off...And now, at the driver's side, you can see a glaring white spot where the mark lays...all spoiled beside its glory...no apologies written whatsoever...just me, my car with THAT mark, and my seething anger...

(this is the part where you may want to cover your ears with cotton balls)...

Don't say I didn't warn you...

"WTF!!!!!"..........

Dearest Moron who chipped my car...

You have the right to remain brainless...but man, if I ever do see you around, I will kick your arse...LITERALLY...mark my words...I am warning you...

Hear me roar...

Lessajinomoto

p/s : I need some anger management therapy...any suggestions???...if not, my boyfriend is going to get really bruised today...*sigh*...

I'm just saying...

Dearest

I am not going to mention names here, as this isn't the issue, nor is it important...I am not writing this post on my blog, just so I could see you humiliated...and just so you know, this ain't a people-bashing post either...I just need a place to vent out, a place to sort out my thoughts...I would need to have this talk with you sooner or later...but I'd thought that writing it down, would keep me emotionally sane...and I may not come to sound too offensive later...

I have finally come to the point that I realized, keeping numb isn't a choice anymore, hoping that everything will one day blow away and resolve itself...the way I see it, it is starting to destroy our relationship from within, and soon, I can foresee that it would erode beyond repair...I would have lost you...and that isn't what I want at all...

There is still so much more, I feel, that we need to understand of each other especially when it comes to the definition of a relationship...the care and concern that you shower on me, for that, I am truly thankful...you have given so much more, than anyone would have asked for...you and I knew, that I would never have done what you have done for me...

For me, my gift to my friends and my family, is my time...despite my busy schedule, whenever you decide to meet up, I have kept to all the appointments (except once, but that was due to unforeseen circumstances)...I didn't like it when you questioned my sincerity and said that I could have had better controlled my time, when the 'circumstance' happened...all these...without giving me a chance to explain...I felt insulted...it is not as if I have missed our appointments all the time...

Keep in mind, I have even made it a point, to let you know in advance, the times that I will be returning to hometown, just so that we are able to schedule a meet up session...and I must say, even my mum does not have that privilege...For that, I am truly ashamed...my mum, bonded to me by blood...and yet, the only time I spare for her, is right after I have met with you...which is only a few minutes before she heads to bed...without realizing, I have acted like a complete jerk...and at many times given you priority over my family...they said nothing...

Not that you have not, of course...you have always mentioned that you have treasured me over your siblings...and though I may not agree with that train of thought, I respect you and how you feel...but like I have always said, I am a completely different individual, and am not able to respond to you the same way you do me...

It is only now, though...that I just felt I've been slapped on the face...Chinese New Year is coming, a time where all the family and relatives will come together for a reunion...you would be going back to your family, and I will go back to mine... Why would you then, ask me the biggest favour of all time...to spend reunion dinner with your family and not mine??...I know that you having good intentions, wanting me to get to know your family...but on Chinese New Year Eve??...or even on the first day of Chinese New Year itself?...or probably you have forgotten that I have a family of my own to go back to...

I sent you a message to apologize for not being able to attend your reunion dinner, and you took it harshly...even to the point, that you say I am "hurting you again and again", by rejecting your offer...but do you realize that if I were to join your family on the reunion table, I would then be expected to turn my back on both my parents and siblings??...

Chinese New Year gatherings, isn't something that I take lightly...and as much as you consider me part of your family, protocol calls for me to go back to my family...I respect your parents and family for who they are...and like I said, I would not mind joining you guys for any other dinners, but this special occasion is definitely not one of it...

I hate to say it, but it does seem to me...that things are really getting out of hand...should you feel hurt, that I have rejected your dinner offer, then allow me to say that I too, am hurt that you, despite having known the significance of CNY reunions, still chose to ask me to attend your own family reunion dinner...as if my family does not matter at all...and by not taking my rejection well and understanding, I feel as if you are asking me to do the impossible, putting you, over my family..I would never in my life, have placed you in such a position...that would just be completely unfair...wouldn't you agree?

I don't know about you, but on my part...I am emotionally tired...your messages have always managed to make me feel guilty for not being able to give you the same attention that you would give me...and at the end of the day, I would feel like crap...but the truth is, there isn't one day where I would not worry that the things I say/do would hurt or affect you in some unpleasant ways...it drives me crazy at times...

One can smell trouble a mile away, especially when I feel my energy level drop drastically, just the very thought of you...when I don't feel like answering your calls, because I feel it like to be an interrogation...I have felt this way all these years, but I decided to bear with it, as I know that you meant well...

If I had a choice, I would want to save this relationship...but God knows, I am worn down and broken...I guess all these years of "sweeping it under the carpet" has finally taken its toll...I am done with having to consider how you would feel or react, every time I do something...and even to summon my strength to explain my point of view on why I do certain things...

For now, I need a break...and a peaceful CNY...

Probably its better for the both of us, if I do not approach you just as yet...maybe later...

The Gym Saga

You have got to join a gym membership, before knowing how it actually feels...The annoyance, and irritation that runs down your spine...every time you see it...Those inconsiderate bastards...out to show their myojo and macho-ness through their work-out...not realizing that they are actually embarassing themselves...or probably they do...

They grunt and groan bloody Mary...so loud, it can be heard a mile away...followed by a tenor shout of "Yeah, baby!!"..."Oh, come on! Come on!"...all just to psych themselves, and to show everyone around, what a killer workout they are having...I have always failed to comprehend, why they can't make their grunts normal sounding...and even save it for the last few reps, when they're busting the last reserve of their energy...

Slightly too narcissistic, if you ask me...wanting people to think that they are THE man, all ready to be on the cover of the Muscle Men magazine...

And good grief, you have got to check out the way they dress!!...I mean, if you look a bit like Chewbacca, more hair on body than skin...try not to go shirt-less...and for the guys, it is NEVER a good idea, to jog in spendex (if you get my groove)...you may risk looking like your guts spilled over, and we all know that, that ain't the first impression you want to give to date-able ladies...

And please, do not bare all...It is beyond my comprehension why some guys would choose to purchase shorts, that are too loose for them, and they know it...I know it would delight that idiot to know that I have managed to observe his dark brownish butt alright...and it was a horrendous sight...and no, I am not interested in anything else that you have to offer...wear a belt, for cryin' aloud!!

But women are very much guilty of this too...for one, please take off your make-up...you have no idea how scary it looks, when you have mascara smudged all over your face...and yes, it happened when you were wiping sweat off your face...and I'm sorry that I had to let you go around the gym with that look for an hour, before breaking the news to you...(well, to be honest, I'm not but oh heck...)...

And insisting that you are able to to fit into that baby size tube, well...I can't find the words to say...I mean, if you have a hot bod, and want to show it off...be my guest...but when all one can see, is rolls on your guts threatening to spill over, that ain't a very pleasant sight, I'm sure you'll agree with me...find a suitable gym clothe, and when you're back to size zero, you can jolly well try that tube again...but till then...I'd rather you don't...

B.O also known as Body Ordour...everyone has it...it just depends on the intensity, or the degree of it...but if you do happen to have one, get a deodorant before someone's nose starts burning...especially if you are going to have a go at the threadmill with someone already jogging by your side...you have no idea how difficult it is to hold one's breath when he/she is running 3-6 miles...

And those machine hoggers...parking themselves on a machine and yakking for 20 minutes (well, they are usually aunties) with their friends...or glue themselves to their cell phone...finish your jogging business and continue on with your chit-chat...if not, move away!!...

And to the man in my gym who shouts so loud to get himself pumped; My advice is that he slows and tones down a bit, before his ego takes a beating...from me...oh, one of this days...I would so love to seal his jaw, with my fist...I'm up to my neck with his groans...

For the Underdogs

Dear Chicken Rice man,

First, the words of praise...I appreciate that you have yet to raise the price of your goods, it still remains at RM3.50, since the first day I came, which was 9 months ago...week after week, I have been coming to your shop, in hope to take back with me a packet of chicken rice for lunch...though it ain't the cleanest shop in town, I did appreciate the fact that you allowed me to enjoy the 'extras' without extra charge...The extra veg (cucumbers), extra chili sauce, extra soup...thank you...there are even times, I am willing to pay a little extra, or refuse the change...as a thank you gesture for your generosity...

Now, comes the not-so-nice part...

So your Indonesian maid may be slow...she may not be able to understand you fully...yea, so you could say she is stupid...but ever toyed with the possibility that she may not understand you because you speak horrible Malay??...you tend to throw in some Cantonese words...and your Malay speaking, is just merely a direct translation from your mother tongue, Cantonese...and you expect her to understand you fully?...That is a bit too much to ask, isn't it?...

But that isn't the chicken bone that I wanna pick on...

I just wonder, what the other customers think of you...when you complaint aloud to them, in front of your poor maid about her...so she may not understand a word you say, since you are babbling so fast in Cantonese...but I am sure she is not as stupid as to not suspect, especially when you are hitting her head half the time...and calling her a retard in Cantonese...I am not sure if you will agree with me...but I honestly believe that you complaining and telling me how stupid your Indonesian maid is...tells me that you have no respect for your co-workers at all...no respect for her feelings...no respect for who she is...plus, I hate all the shouting...and your constant barking at her...it hurts my ear so...and it is difficult to enjoy the food placed before me...

Is it because she is of a 'lower class' than you?...Is it because she is of a darker skin than yours?...is it because she is helpless and limited by her vocabulary to converse with you?...

I gave your Indonesian maid a smile...and thanked her for bringing my plate of rice over...and I saw her smile for the very first time...that really is a positive change from what I usually see...a sad face, totally void of emotions...and I am encouraged....she brightened up my day, as I have hers, for that day...I am just sorry I am not able to do so on an hourly basis...and that she will have to bear with a loser like you till her contract is over...

I am in a dilemma now...I look forward to see her smile again...somehow, my heart goes out to her...but yet, every time I come, I am filled with rage, observing the way you mistreat her...and frustrated that I can't help beyond an occasional smile or two...and slipping in a word of thanks...

I feel tempted into boycotting your food stall...and I think I will...I no longer find contentment in purchasing your goods anymore...hence I am informing you that I will never put my foot into your food stall ever again...so, starting today, tell your accounts manager, that there will be an RM7 (I come twice a week) decline in weekly profits...for I have chosen to take my food business elsewhere...and you're very welcome...

I just hope that as I walk pass your food stall to another, I will be able to meet your Indonesian maid again...to hand her a familiar smile...and pray hard, that she will find happiness elsewhere...as she can never find with you...

Dear Diary

Today was great...A-MA-ZING...I took my car out for a date today...just a couple of days back, I treated Toyota Corona 1.6 with 13 litres of petrol, which I happily spend RM30...I had economy rice, which was only RM2.20...but that is ok...my darling Toyota comes first anyway...

In return, Toyota took me for a couple of trips to college and back...wow...such great fun!!...And in the for every of these trips, I had to part with RM4 for both parking ticket and toll each time...but ah, such exhilaration...why not??...I have plenty of money to spare...

I will need to treat Toyota again for another hefty meal...this time, for the same 13 litres of petrol, it will probably cost me RM45, and extra RM15 from the usual...

But am I bothered?...well, so I may have to live on plain water alone from now on...I will most probably have to chew on grass for vitamins...and sand to brush my teeth...wipe my butt with banana tree leaves...

But it is okay...

After all...whatever is best for my darling Toyota is good enough for me...

Almost dying,
Lessajinomoto

A Dash of Humour

I was pissed off today...as one of my students, despite being dropped off by her parents half an hour before her lesson, was 15 minutes late to my class...and even then, I had to hunt for her...turns out, she was playing....which I'll have you know...this isn't the first time...

Dead angry...I have never in my life raised my voice towards a kid, in public...but today, I have broken that record...and yes, I'm back to anger management class, don't worry...I shouted angrily (not with my full strength, but enough for other kids to drop their toys and stay quiet for a while)...and summoned them to my studio room...

Still irritated at this disrespect, after their lesson...I walked out of the room only to bump into their mother...I shared with her my dissatisfaction with her...and her response was...

"Teacher, next time they do that, feel free to punish them...give them more homework or something, and make them stay back...don't worry...I will be ok with that..."

Believe it or not, I laughed...NON-STOP...

Dear parent,
I am being honest with you...if this is any news to you...making your child stay back an extra time...that is more of a punishment for ME, than it is for your child...

Yours sincerely,
Lessajinomoto
Teacher of your dreaded child...

Dear mummy,

For all the crap you've got to put up with,
For all the panic I've cost you,
For all the times I've talked back, and when I shouldn't have,
For all the times you've comforted me,
For all the advices, heeded and unheeded,
For all the rebellion you've got to put up with,
For all your love you've poured through years,
For all the 6:30am wake-up calls,
For all the chauffeuring you've done,
For all the times you've been patient with grandma,

And most of all,
For all the years, you've glued this family together...

I am truly thankful...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...

Dear Grandma

I need you to understand...I want you to know...it is not that I accidentally left you out, on wishing you Happy Mother's Day...I wish I could do so...but I just couldn't...not without feeling the frustration, not without feeling the emptiness behind those words...

God knows that I wish, I don't feel this way...this dilemma of not wanting to have anything to do with you...Through your selfish actions, you have made these years a living hell for the family...my family...the people I care for...the only people that was there for you, when you were sick...when you were in need...You inconvenienced people so, that the whole world has to stop...just to see to your needs...

I have failed...as a grandchild, I'm afraid...I am a hypocrite, after all...I tell my brothers, that we should accept you the way you are...and to give you the respect...and that I have managed to do...

But I realized...that on such a special day as Mother's Day...I am unable to put aside my disappointment ...and to show you my care...and mean it...I wish I am able to let go...I wish I am able to forgive...for the tears you have caused my mum...for the tension within the family, just because you flew into a rage...for the years I have yearned for a grandma's love, but never got it...

It is with an honest heart, that I am pouring out in this blog...you are my grandmother by name and by blood...and for that, I will pay you the respect that is due to you...but I am really sorry...I can't bring myself to do more than that...cause in my heart, I never saw you as a loving grandmother...

If empty words still mean something to you...here it is...happy mother's day...

It is my hope and my prayer, that one day...I will learn to put aside my feelings...and to call you 'grandma' which much heartfelt meaning...but for now, this will have to do...

You've Got Mail

YOU HAVE A PACKAGE, Contact Email : fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com

from : DANIEL E. GLABERSON (D.GLABERSON@ut.edu)

received : 30th April 2008

Greetings.

I am Mr.Divad White , i have been waiting for you since to contact me
for yourConfirmable BankDraft of $800.000.00 United States Dollars, but
Idid not hear from you since that time.Then I went and deposited the
Draft with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE, WestAfrica, I Travelled out of the
country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till end of March.
What you have to do now is to contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE
as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because
of the expiring date.

For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance
premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the cheque showing that it is
not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.
The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE to deliver
your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is($150.00US)
Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far.

Again, don'tbe deceived by anybody to pay any other money except
$150.00US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no because they
don't know when you will contact them and in case of Dumorrage.You have
tocontact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your Draft
with this information bellow;

PLEASE REPLY TO:
Mr. Mike Aderson
DIRECT EMAIL: fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com
Telephone:+(234)8077410005

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address() and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and
ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package
over there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again,
try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further
delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $150.00 US
Dollars for their immediate action. You should also let me know through
email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr.David White

[Note: I have never before in my life, responded to such letters, as I have a habit of hitting the 'DELETE' button on my email box, even before I have time to chew on it. In fact, I'm tired of having these emails spam my mail-box every now and then. I just wish sometimes, that people will have something better to do, than to write non-sensical letters such as these...as to not waste my (our) time...but today, is one of my good patient days...]

Hence, my response...

Dear sir/madam;

There are several discrepancies in your email which I feel the need to bring attention to. First and foremost, I think you are really confused about who you are, and how you choose address yourself...You call yourself Divad White/David White, yet your email address calls you by Daniel E. Glaberson. I have considered the fact that you could have borrowed your friend's email account for some purpose, but seeing the content being as serious as it sounds, it does not seem professional at all, to use a friend's account, wouldn't you agree? And also, the fact that you never bothered to proof-read this letter, before clicking the 'SEND' button, obviously shows carelessness on your part, and total disregard for grammar, capital letters and punctuation, which I would not expect from a businessman of your status...who is your secretary, by the way??...Give her a fire!!...I am a gracious customer, therefore, I shall not pursue...but others are not so nice as I am...

Anyhow, to more important stuff...

Just to assure you, I'm not Dumbo. You would think that I would get excited over a big some of US800.00 credited to me, though I do not recall banking in any draft of that amount. Besides, as a full-time working student, I do not even have RM800.00 to my name, let alone US800.00...which is, if you do the maths, almost RM2400.00...I could have won this 'US800.00', one could say...but if I actually won a contest, I think I deserve US1 million, wouldn't you agree?...I mean, which miserable contest, would give me a measly US800.00 for winning anyway?...and would you actually think that I would actually enter a contest that would get me ONLY US800.00...that will enable me to survive comfortably for only 1 month and half?

True, enough, I am no Dumbo. I have researched a lot about you, and it seems that you have evolved several times. Are you now Patricia Garaci or Mike Anderson?...or neither?...

You say that you have traveled to West Africa for a 3 months course and would be back in March. That would actually indicate that you mailed this letter, say...approximately in late December '07 or early January'08, I presume...and I only received this email of yours on 30th APRIL '08??...Man, which express mail did you use?...I'd sure sue them if I were you...Geez, even snail mails aren't that slow...

And would you expect me to believe, that such a Multi-National corporation such as Fed-Ex, would go so low, as to depend on Hotmail for email deliveries??...and my, do they have gazillion email addresses!!...I wonder which one is valid...is it now:-

a) fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com
b) fedexdeliverydept01@hotmail.com
c) FedexExpressdeliveryservice@hotmail.com
d) fedexcourier44@live.com (ah, they change email partners now, did they??)
(taken from other resources)

0r

e) fexmyarse@fatchance.com

hmm...I really believe you got their email wrong...if you need more help, you can ask FedEx

By the way, you did say that you have send my oh-so-precious Confirmable Bank Draft to Fedex Courier Service in West Africa...and you have also so kindly given me 'convincing' advices...and oh, you have given me the contact number of the person who handles Fedex Delivery services!!...number is (+234)807741005...wow, so much trouble to go through for someone you hardly know, isn't it??...Yet, the last time I checked, (+234) is an area code in serving areas such as Ohio in United States...so, is it right to presume that West Africa is part of United States??...Oh, I don't know...I am TOTALLY ignorant when it comes to obvious geographical errors...but I'd think you had better mention this to the board of US government...no wonder mails are getting screwed up...and slow...A lot of trouble, I know...but I'm sure if you didn't mind battling 'storms' for me, you wouldn't mind a little more trouble, would you??...

I have got a couple of problems with the transfer funds...So I apparently received US800.00 for doing absolutely nothing at all. But the condition is that I have to pay US150.00 for delivery/postal fees. Wow, that is SO CHEAP!!...At the end of the day, I will stand to get US650.00, right??...That is cool!!...

Yet, I think I will have to pass...I am a very busy young gal, which priorities, definitely does not lie in money. Besides, if I were to wait for any mail response from your side, it would take another half a year, which by then, I would have starved in a most undignified way...

I'd rather earn my cost...

p/s : by the way, you will not be getting an email from me, because of all the reasons above...besides, you have already gotten more than enough attention from me, then you truly deserve...

Yours sincerely,
Lessajinomoto

Maxis says

Disclaimer : There is a lot of Mathematics included in this post. To understand the following, you will have to follow closely to the calculation I am doing...

I got an SMS from Hotlink/Maxis (a communication service provider) just the day before...and this was what it wrote :

Get 1500 SMS valid for 7 DAYS! Enjoy great value ! ONLY RM7 with Hotlink Super Savers. Valid from 6am-6pm (Maxis-Maxis)!! Dial *128*4# to purchase by 30/3/08.

From : Hotlink
11.27am 24 Mar-08

(Bold and enlarged letters mine)

Hence, my response;

Dear Maxis,

I'm afraid that there are a few issues that I feel the need to call attention to :-
a) I honestly think that this generous package you are offering, is definitely for corporate businessman/women. Let us do Maths for a while, shall we?...Lets say I were to subscribe to your oh-so-hard-to-resist-offer...and foolishly allowed you to deduct RM7 from my credit, in exchange of 1500 SMSes, that is only valid for 7 days...and do note...so you stated 7 days...but statement number 4 tells me, that it is only valid for 12 hours of the 7 days...so let me see...if my maths do me justice, I would say that 12 hrs x 7 = 84 hrs...that will make it a full 3 and half days...never mind that...

So, theoretically, I am suppose to finish 1500 SMSes in 7 days...that means I have got to sent 214.3 SMSes each day...between 6am-6pm...well, unless one is a teenage kid, with a new handphone and number, I highly doubt that anyone would be able to send that much an SMS as 214...even a corporate businessman/woman would rather pick up the phone and dial a number, than to spend 5 minutes of their precious time to punch in a message. Just think about it for a while, shall we??...let us say that in average, a person with 2 left thumbs, will spend 3 minutes typing an SMS...so if one would to subscribe to your oh-so-wonderful package, he/she will have to spend 642 (214x3) minutes on the phone...that makes a full 4 hours of a day...well, technically, it is 4 hours out of the 12 hours that you would so nicely put aside for us...

In summary, subscribers of your package, would have to squeeze in 4 hours of their waking hours (beside their working hours, of course)...typing their fingers to the limb, in order to put this marketing scam...sorry...ahem, marketing SCHEME, into our advantage...pretty illogical, don't you think??

b)...Don't you think it is rather unfair that you have only allocated this package for Maxis to Maxis phone-line only??...For one, I'm sure that in the 500+ names that people have saved in their phone/SIM card memory ( I only have about 70 names in my phonebook)...less than 100 are personal friends...and of the 100 personal friends that people might have (it can be imaginative friends for all I care)...I'm sure that only 30 names would turn out to be class mates/people that one would come across everyday...and out of the 30, would be 10 names, probably...that we would believe is worth our time SMS-ing...and SMS-ing...and SMS-ing....

And oh, let us not forget...these 10 loved ones, may not even be subscribing to your company!!!...they might be DIGI or Celcom subscriber, for all we know...so that will bring the number down to a probable 6 loved ones, which we can send SMS-es to, at a freakin' cheap rate...

So, at the end of the day, we have got to send 214 SMS-es to 6 people, which we deem is worthy of our time...that means, each lucky loved one, would receive 36 SMS-es from EACH DAY, for SEVEN DAYS...by the end of the week, they will each receive a whooping 250 SMS-es from one sincere but very annoying loved one...

How sweet...but too much love, I'd say...

I don' t know who your marketing team may be, or even if they exist or not...but I'd really suggest that you give them a sack...all these marketing scams are just darn annoying...and I receive this kind of message almost every week...well, not that you really care anyway...as long as the money comes, isn't it??

- lessajinomoto

WGL 1669 (Part 2) - The LOSER

Why I think you are such a loser : (For whole story, please refer to the previous post)

1. You were not even gentleman enough to attempt to see if I was okay...and I was the one with the damages...

2. You were way behind me, that I can confirm...yet, you managed to crash into me at high speed...if I was in a Proton Saga, I would have been crushed to pulps by now...

3. I was on a stationery position...still, you are able to crash into me...

4. You were not even responsible enough to say sorry...and worst, you challenged me...and I'm not taken into threats so easily...in fact, they piss me off a lot...

5. All you can say is, "I ade brek!"...no better excuses??...

WGL1669

*ring* *ring*...*ring* *ring*...

"Hey, girl...you called me?"

"Yes, are you free now?"

"Not really...why?"

"Are you in a good mood?"

"Not really...what is it?"

"Its ok then...I will call you to tell you some other time."

"What is it?...you called me, but now you don't want to tell me about it..."

"OK then...I just thought you should know...your daugther got into an accident, but she is ok now..."

*silence*

"Is the car okay?"...

So, yesterday, I was involved in an accident (Tuesday, 27th Nov 2007)...though my car wasn't a total loss...and the fault wasn't mine...its the inconvenience of it that frustrates the hell out of me...having to drive all the way to Ampang to see the traffic police and make a report, send my car for extensive fixtures, claim insurance...yup, and all that jazz...

I was on my way to Corus Hotel, to attend a Trinity College Music Examination, as a piano accompanist for a student of mine...I passed the round-about and took a 3 o'clock turn, to join the crowd of traffic, all slow-moving...though not at stand still...I was easing my way to the right side of the lane, from the middle lane...and yes, I did my safety checks...signal lights were on...looked in the rear-view mirror...checked...looked at the right side-mirror (which was the most important, as I had to check if there is any cars on my right, before joining them)...yup, I saw a lorry...looks small from the side-mirror...but, yup, I could see the whole bloody lorry...which means, he is some distance away...and I could make my move...and I did...little by little, though...as the car in front of me, has not cleared yet...

I heard a loud and LONG honk...should be the lorry-driver, I presume...maybe he is irritated, that I've cut his queue...understandable enough...I do that sometimes...I get annoyed easily, especially when I'm stuck in a non-air-conditioned car...in the midst of a traffic jams...and someone conveniently cuts into my queue...no big deal...it will blow over soon...

I saw the lorry coming...I would expect him to stop...(since he honked, it actually meant that he was aware of my presence, wouldn't it)...but NOOOooooo...he whacked straight into my right passenger door...and because of the speed he was in, when he whacked my car...it didn't stop there...it plough through, till it reached me...the driver's door...

From the left passenger's window, the passenger in the lorry, asked me to move my car...

"You rammed into my driver's door, making a small valley whole, with your headlights french-kissing it...I can't even move, you DOOFUS!!!...YOU reverse YOUR lorry!!!"...I thought...and signaled him to do so...and he did...

I got down from the car...with much attempt, as I could barely get my door to open...it was completely jammed...

Took a good look at the driver...

"I ade brek!!!" (Direct translation : I got brake!!!)

I kept my composure...and talked to him, wrecking my brains to find the words in Malay...which I shall, for the ease of readers, translate it to English...

"The problem is not weather you braked or not...but its that you did not brake in time...meaning...you were not paying attention..."

"Kenape you keluar?...Tak nampak I pandu laju ke?" (Direct translation : Why did you move out?...Didn't see me speeding, is it?)

"Driving fast or not...I did after all signal..."

"Ya, I nampak you signal...I ade brek!!...I ada brek"...(Direct translation : Yes, I saw you signal...I got brake!...I got brake!!)...personally...I think "I ada brek" was the only the that existed in his mind, since he emphasize it ever so often...

Looks like we are back to square one...apparently, he was not listening to me no more...

"Can I see your licence please"

"Tengok buat apa?" (Direct translation : See for what?)

"So that I can make a police report."

"Buat polis report, buat la...you ingat I takut you ke?...I ada lisen...semua ada...pergi buat polis report, I bagi tengok"...(Direct translation : you want to make a police report, make la...you think I'm scared of you?...I have licence...everything I have...go make a police report...only then I let you see)

Frankly speaking, I would have gone to make a police report immediately...but as I was rushing for the exam, I didn't want to create an uproar within myself...so I left...two guys against a girl...I was just not a match for them...

I had a thorough check of the damges made on my car, after the exam...so, right passenger door, half smashed to the pulp...the door handle is gone...(and just so you know, my car is made of metal, old Toyota Corona 1.6 (1982)...so imagine the speed he was in when he crashed into my car)...door cannot be opened nor closed...because the curvature was so great, it actually had the top of the door, where the windows are...sticking out...naturally letting in fresh air...

Driver's door is screwed too...though not as bad...still...the lock is jammed...you cannot open it at all...with all the muscle building that I've done to tone my arms...I still failed...have to get in through the left front passenger seat to be able to drive...back wheel's allignment is gone...I can feel it totally out, when I take hold of the steering...

To the idiotic-ninkampoop driver of WGL 1669,

I have thought and thought again...reflected on the incident...look up online about situations like this...read and re-read, checked the words on the online dictionary...and it still says you are in the wrong...and I quote from a site...

"the insurance adjuster would need a witness beyond the other driver to prove you came into the motor home's lane so fast that the motor home was unable to stop."

And here...'motor home' means, you, my dear bro...so...I was in a stationary position, and I definitely DID NOT go to your lane "so fast" that you were unable to stop (I couldn't go fast, even if I wanted to...it was a TRAFFIC JAM!!!)...AND...dude, you were way behind me...not in my blind spot...the problem??...you were speeding...and therefore, you couldn't stop in time...simple as that...when there are tonnes of car, oozling in and out...you choose to speed...which I don't understand...if it was a highway...I could close an eye...but in TOWN???....

Yet, I'm aware...this accident was not a dead-on, rear-end-hit...where it would then make yours and my life so much easier...therefore, difficult to prove your liability for my loss...and that, I understand...I'm not angry nor hurt...as much as it does hurt my pocket...it could be surprising, but I feel sorry for you...sorry for the ones sitting in the car you drive...hopefully, it would not be traumatic, as it has been for me...and I'm not even sitting in your car...

You know...I may be months poorer...and maybe as poor as a church mouse for a couple of months, while I get my car fixed...but that it is not the main thing...so, yes...it is a big pinch for me...and yes, I do feel it...but at least I can sleep peacefully at night...I've no doubt you will too...seeing that you have totally no sense of responsibility...hopefully, next time, the person who suffers the crash would not be you...HOPEFULLY....*fingers crossed*

Owner of Toyata Corona 1.6
WAS 2754

Back to the conversation with my dad...

"So now that the door is spoiled...what if the thieves steal the car?"

Well, dad...if they are able to OPEN my driver's door in the first place...then we can consider the fact that they MAY steal this precious right-side-crushed car...