You've Got Mail

YOU HAVE A PACKAGE, Contact Email : fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com

from : DANIEL E. GLABERSON (D.GLABERSON@ut.edu)

received : 30th April 2008

Greetings.

I am Mr.Divad White , i have been waiting for you since to contact me
for yourConfirmable BankDraft of $800.000.00 United States Dollars, but
Idid not hear from you since that time.Then I went and deposited the
Draft with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE, WestAfrica, I Travelled out of the
country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till end of March.
What you have to do now is to contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE
as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because
of the expiring date.

For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance
premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the cheque showing that it is
not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.
The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE to deliver
your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is($150.00US)
Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far.

Again, don'tbe deceived by anybody to pay any other money except
$150.00US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no because they
don't know when you will contact them and in case of Dumorrage.You have
tocontact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your Draft
with this information bellow;

PLEASE REPLY TO:
Mr. Mike Aderson
DIRECT EMAIL: fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com
Telephone:+(234)8077410005

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address() and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and
ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package
over there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again,
try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further
delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $150.00 US
Dollars for their immediate action. You should also let me know through
email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr.David White

[Note: I have never before in my life, responded to such letters, as I have a habit of hitting the 'DELETE' button on my email box, even before I have time to chew on it. In fact, I'm tired of having these emails spam my mail-box every now and then. I just wish sometimes, that people will have something better to do, than to write non-sensical letters such as these...as to not waste my (our) time...but today, is one of my good patient days...]

Hence, my response...

Dear sir/madam;

There are several discrepancies in your email which I feel the need to bring attention to. First and foremost, I think you are really confused about who you are, and how you choose address yourself...You call yourself Divad White/David White, yet your email address calls you by Daniel E. Glaberson. I have considered the fact that you could have borrowed your friend's email account for some purpose, but seeing the content being as serious as it sounds, it does not seem professional at all, to use a friend's account, wouldn't you agree? And also, the fact that you never bothered to proof-read this letter, before clicking the 'SEND' button, obviously shows carelessness on your part, and total disregard for grammar, capital letters and punctuation, which I would not expect from a businessman of your status...who is your secretary, by the way??...Give her a fire!!...I am a gracious customer, therefore, I shall not pursue...but others are not so nice as I am...

Anyhow, to more important stuff...

Just to assure you, I'm not Dumbo. You would think that I would get excited over a big some of US800.00 credited to me, though I do not recall banking in any draft of that amount. Besides, as a full-time working student, I do not even have RM800.00 to my name, let alone US800.00...which is, if you do the maths, almost RM2400.00...I could have won this 'US800.00', one could say...but if I actually won a contest, I think I deserve US1 million, wouldn't you agree?...I mean, which miserable contest, would give me a measly US800.00 for winning anyway?...and would you actually think that I would actually enter a contest that would get me ONLY US800.00...that will enable me to survive comfortably for only 1 month and half?

True, enough, I am no Dumbo. I have researched a lot about you, and it seems that you have evolved several times. Are you now Patricia Garaci or Mike Anderson?...or neither?...

You say that you have traveled to West Africa for a 3 months course and would be back in March. That would actually indicate that you mailed this letter, say...approximately in late December '07 or early January'08, I presume...and I only received this email of yours on 30th APRIL '08??...Man, which express mail did you use?...I'd sure sue them if I were you...Geez, even snail mails aren't that slow...

And would you expect me to believe, that such a Multi-National corporation such as Fed-Ex, would go so low, as to depend on Hotmail for email deliveries??...and my, do they have gazillion email addresses!!...I wonder which one is valid...is it now:-

a) fedexcourierdeliveryservice001@hotmail.com
b) fedexdeliverydept01@hotmail.com
c) FedexExpressdeliveryservice@hotmail.com
d) fedexcourier44@live.com (ah, they change email partners now, did they??)
(taken from other resources)

0r

e) fexmyarse@fatchance.com

hmm...I really believe you got their email wrong...if you need more help, you can ask FedEx

By the way, you did say that you have send my oh-so-precious Confirmable Bank Draft to Fedex Courier Service in West Africa...and you have also so kindly given me 'convincing' advices...and oh, you have given me the contact number of the person who handles Fedex Delivery services!!...number is (+234)807741005...wow, so much trouble to go through for someone you hardly know, isn't it??...Yet, the last time I checked, (+234) is an area code in serving areas such as Ohio in United States...so, is it right to presume that West Africa is part of United States??...Oh, I don't know...I am TOTALLY ignorant when it comes to obvious geographical errors...but I'd think you had better mention this to the board of US government...no wonder mails are getting screwed up...and slow...A lot of trouble, I know...but I'm sure if you didn't mind battling 'storms' for me, you wouldn't mind a little more trouble, would you??...

I have got a couple of problems with the transfer funds...So I apparently received US800.00 for doing absolutely nothing at all. But the condition is that I have to pay US150.00 for delivery/postal fees. Wow, that is SO CHEAP!!...At the end of the day, I will stand to get US650.00, right??...That is cool!!...

Yet, I think I will have to pass...I am a very busy young gal, which priorities, definitely does not lie in money. Besides, if I were to wait for any mail response from your side, it would take another half a year, which by then, I would have starved in a most undignified way...

I'd rather earn my cost...

p/s : by the way, you will not be getting an email from me, because of all the reasons above...besides, you have already gotten more than enough attention from me, then you truly deserve...

Yours sincerely,
Lessajinomoto