Monday, May 5, 2008

An attempted biography

LESSAJINOMOTO, is a relatively young girl (year 2010: not so young anymore) who grew up singing Michael Jackson's "Beat It" and was seen making a lame and futile attempt to 'moonwalk' occasionally. Since the era of Electronic and Techno music, she has brought untimely joy and mental anguish to two parents who was and still is privileged to call her their daughter. These proud parents was luckily smart enough to know that they should not rob the world of someone of sheer genius, despite the knowledge of excruciating rack they would have to endure in the near future. If they were to do so, it would have been a cruel and inhumane decision, and their lives would have been totally miserable and incomplete otherwise. A win-win situation, as one would say.

For years, they have been having tons of fun, sharing up and down moments even till now. Two more male seeds sprung after harvesting, and were added into the family. Her father lives in another state from the family for work purposes, of course. Though one must admire his commitment to travel back and forth every weekend for 13 years now. Her mum is a freelance tuition teacher and a good counselor, even at times when advices are not needed. One brother attends a college close enough to visit home on weekends, but is rather selective about it (e.g run out of Milo/shampoo/extra dirty laundry). Her other brother is currently sitting through SPM, experimenting the balance of getting through the stupid exam, and keeping sane, all in one breath (as of year 2009, he has officially graduated from high school, and is now joining his older brother in attending University). Her grandmother, well, we can fill three books with her oh-so-gracious activities, but we won't. Besides, this isn't a biography about her. It is about LESSAJINOMOTO.

She loves a marathon of John Grishams and Jeffery Archers. Reading to her, is one of the tools to make time pass by fast, when they don't seem to. She became visually impaired at a young age, due to unnatural light and heavy reading. Being vain as she is (though it does not show), she refuses to wear spectacles. She was as determined not to give in and wanted to prove to the world that she was better than any man with a perfect eye-sight. Thus, she found herself in many awkward situations. She could spot a public washroom, but occasionally walked into the one designated for the opposite sex. There are even times, when people could have perceived that she thinks she can walk through walls. Well, she definitely didn't perceive that thought, yet she walks into one anyway. Wanting her dignity restored, only then she agreed to a geeky spectacles, joining half a billion others who are doing so.

She can be found devouring tens of packets of snacks (e.g Cacho Chips) when found under extreme stress. She is a badminton and car-racing fanatic, who pretends to know all the rules and tries to tell the player what to do. She is capable of surviving on very little sleep, but that is probably due to her hyper-activity and workaholic character. Disregard any objections that she may hurl, about her life being a topsy-turvy drama. Knowing her will prove to you otherwise. She is addicted to her mp3 player, though she already has one integrated into the jelly brain of hers. She is also addicted to her 1996 manufactured Fujitsu lappy, who struggles to cough into life, and is on the brink of death any day now, as all electronic devices are made to do. If little Fujitsu dies, LESSAJINOMOTO goes with him, spiritually at least. Her little pet peeves are endless. Therefore we shall not put them here. She has a (un)founded fear of heights, Ronald McDonalds, clowns, an 'low battery' sign on her handphone/mp3 player, lorry drivers, etc.

A couple of years back, one may have bumped into LESSAJINOMOTO who will greet you by saying, "Hi, welcome to Indulgence. What would you like for breakfast this morning?". To make this clear, she never asked it out of sheer curiosity. And its not like she cared if one would have his/her bouts of nourishment to jump-start the day. She only says this line as it is all part and parcel of the job of being the ONLY waitress who is able to function in English. Which is followed by a treatment of a dirt by the customer-to-be. Now, it is different. One can now find LESSAJINOMOTO smiling at a parent saying, "Ah, you little (devils of a) children performed wonderfully today!! I will see you little (bratty) kiddies next week!!". She is now teaching in a studio and giving private piano lessons to jolly cute children (monkeys), both young and old. A lot of energy is being consumed there.

And she grows old, she does not want to be an old hag. Let's leave it at that.

[Short note : This was my lame attempt to write a biography. I am completely aware that it looks like an autobiography. I may be senile at times, but I am still able to tell the difference. May I then defend myself with the fact that at least, I'm trying. That has to count, doesn't it??]

1 comment:

Philip926 said...

Hi LessAjinomoto!
I'm Philip, from Penang. Stumbled into your blog while I was in the Piano World forums. Glad to meet another Malaysian in cyberspace. And one that likes Pat Metheny and the Yellowjackets? Fantastic!!

I'll be replying to your Piano World post soon...need to get my quickie nap first, lol.