Motto for new music graduants...

A couple of months late : pay attention and learn from my mistakes...I've broken nearly all of the following...*sheepish grin*...So I'd thought I could save you guys the trouble...this applies to students of any music profession...

• If you're going to be stupid, you've got to be tough (TM)...Happens to everybody, I'm sure...its just that people like me would need more "stupid-time" than others...
• Don't lie...to anyone...even to your students...kids these days are smart as hell...and they can smell your 'poo' a mile away...
• Be nice as you can...If you can't be nice, be silent...If you can't be silent, walk away for a while and count to ten...Never switch to strangle mode...After a tiring 12 hour work shift, 6 days a week...all you have left is your auto-pilot and your self-control...Doesn't pay to lose either one.
  
• Always answer your phone...you will never know that a very much needed gig is just a pick-up call away...though I must urge you to put your foot down, should you find clients/students calling you at 12am "just to chat"!!...
• Don't take criticism personally...if you must, step aside and do an honest self-evaluation of yourself...some critics does hold water...others, are just plain words from brainless morons who can't back up their statements...
• NEVER ASSUME!!!!...
• Don't assume that just because you've explained something, that the other party understands...Don't assume that just because you've said something several times, the other party remembers...Chances are, they will conveniently forget, so you will have to explain again...
• If you have trouble with with your student/client/projects...don't give up...Keep trying...the breakthrough will come, but you have to keep trying...
• Start planning when to take leave at the beginning of the year...or you never will...
• Fake it till you can make it...you can't put off not talking to parents, apologizing for errors, PERFORMING on stage..."Being fearful" is gonna be a helluva lifelong recurring theme...[Note : I learnt this from my dad..]
  
• Appreciate your fellow colleagues and college friends, they are your lifeline, music support, last minute band on call, food delivery, complaining partners and counselors...And they are the ONLY people who will know EXACTLY how you feel because they're going through it too...
• Lastly, enjoy a great time ahead!!...Nothing beats the thought of one having the privilege to make music everyday...learn music everyday...and work with music everyday!!...

Ah...such bliss...yet so much heartache...

Boiling Frustration...

There's something about Astor Piazzolla that mirrors the frustration inside...Then the moment comes when you play his pieces, and all hell breaks loose...and you will find yourself relishing in the whole mish-mash volume of energy...His tangos are always either rhythmically intense or heart-breakingly lyrical...Like being smitten by someone so much, you don't know if you want to caress his cheeks or hug (or in the case of a one-side attraction; punch) the air out of him...

I know...I'm rambling....

I still don't get the diva-ttitude phenom and how it rises exponentially with talent...I am not generalizing here...Just giving my two-cents based on personal experience...I don't understand and I completely disagree the whole issue trying to take credit or stealing one's limelight...Jeez...before long you'd be thinking of how many people you need to brown nose and step on just to get to the top...Oh hang on, you already are...If you're thinking of working your 'womanly charms' to win em over, well... more power to you, sweetie...

Reality really bites...

I know, I know already...I'm rambling....

I want my vacation...NOW!!...

Writer's Block...

I can't believe it...

Mahler, was able to compose his Symphony No. 5, which includes 5 movements altogether...resulting in 819 bars of music...

And I, am stuck at my composition...on bar 42???!!!!!.....

I have barely scratched the surface of Mahler's ingenious mind!!!....

I am currently starring at Mahler's full score of Symphony No. 5...baffled...

Strings of contrapunctal melodies, imitation of sounds of nature, introduction of dissonant themes, and other creative ideas jump out of these 819 bars...

So how in the world am I still stuck at BAR 42????!!!!!

Sorry, I just needed a place to rant...

Random updates...

• Have just finished my arrangement on Mambo Influenciado...have decided to revise the whole entire song, but giving it a Baroque-like counter-melody, and changing the whole entire song to a medium swing feel and ending it with a 2 bar salsa rhythm...
• Am not entirely satisfied with the out-come and feel that there is still plenty to work on and expand...will have to sleep on it later...am extremely exhausted now...having just clocked in 15 hours of sleep this week...
• Have a new composition coming up...as much as I hate waking up to Muslim Azan calls at an unholy hour of 5am, I must say that the melody is starting to intrigue me...I couldn't sleep one morning...so I decided to take a walk...when I heard the Azan call...ideas started spilling through...its amazing, considering how mentally tired out I was at that time...
• So this new composition...fingers crossed on how it may turn out...heck, I don't even have a name for it yet...I was just thinking of starting with a distant Azan call, followed by a bell-like ostinato cum drone...adding layers of sound and harmony as we go along...
• Will be experimenting new arranging techniques instead of sticking to the basics which I've been using all along...so I'm trying to keep away from counter-melodies, call and responses, and mere reharmonization of chords...will probably be focusing more on layers of sound, effects, modulation and time-signature change...have to check out more Messien and Debussy pieces...Mahler and Bartok too...ah...we'll see...
• Has been an eventful week so far...been transcribing songs for my students, arranging and composition...it gives me utmost satisfaction...to know that I'm honing my skills...I'm still an amateur...but at least, I know I have found my purpose...that gives me comfort...I can see my direction clearly now...
• Have been struggling within, deciding if teaching is really my forte...I would not mind teaching...but at the moment, I'm not sure if its something I want to do with the rest of my life...to be honest, I do not have any qualms teaching...its just the mentality and attitude of parents and students alike, that tires me...all the spoon-feeding, bad attitude...their obsession of just knowing their notes and passing their exams, and yet not having a care in the world about music interpretation and its history...I feel as if I've failed to teach them how to appreciate music as it is...

Work in progress...will probably spend the rest of my Raya holidays working on my arrangments and compositions...will keep you updated...Chiaos!!...

An update...

My sincerest apologies for not updating for quite some time...I'm still very much alive and kicking...awfully relieved that my arranging project has been finalized and handed up....I managed to cram in a night of studying for my Malaysian Music exam...I wonder how I managed to survived on literally two hours of sleep (I'm not kidding you) this whole entire week...

I have wanted to update this blog for some time now...despite friend's concern and advices, I have decided to opt out for Option B (read the post here) and slog through nights on end living coffee and computer...to get my arranging project done...Yes, it wasn't a very healthy choice...but at least, the couple of hours sleep I had, was a peaceful one...that does not consist of nightmares about missing datelines, computer crashing and wat nots...

Yet, as a result...my right hand wrist hurts like hell for now...from holding on to the computer mouse for too long...(that explains why I've put off blogging for a few days, my wrist is much better now...thank you)...my eyes cross...and my ears bleeds...

One has no idea, how painful it would be...to scan through 52 pages of music notes/scores...in a hunt for a single mistake...that the ear was too tired to make out...to make things worst...this 52 pages of music scores was on the computer...so it was really difficult to see the whole entire page...I had to zoom in and out all the time while looking for that dratted mistake...occasionally, I feel as if I'm seeing double...my brain is confused...my ears bleed from listening to my music arrangement for so long...it has even come to a point, that even the mistake that I was looking for...blended into the music...as my ears was already starting to get used to that jarring sound...(I knew the harmony was somehow wrong...but since I was handling a bunch of alto saxophones, which were playing different melodies...I couldn't make out which instrument it was that has that blardy wrong note...really annoying)...

A typical case of overworking I think...one doesn't feel the body communication...until one has literally placed her project file on the lecturer's desk...and she realized...how much her body aches...her right hand wrist is swelling...her brain on a hibernating mode...her eyes almost shut down...

I wish I had a fairy godmother for now...I would have wish for one day...where I need not think of waking up early...one day...where I can choose to do whatever I want...and sleep in...good grief...God knows...I've tonnes of sleeping hours to catch up!!...

Question of the day :
In your own dictionary...what does personal time mean to you?

For me...personal time, is when I can switch off my handphone...and still be at peace...without being nervous that I could have missed a class...or a project...

What about you?

I'll update more tomorrow...for now...I'm heading for bed...and hopefully...if I can...I will not wake up till the start of the next week...my body has endured enough abuse...I need some pampering...

Good night, folks!!!...Don't let the bed bugs bite!!....

A humbling moment

Just so you know, I do not have the best rhythm sense in the world...in fact, far from it...but rest assured, I've been working on it with my metronome, so my timing isn't that bad...

I just to hang on to cheap trills...by working my pieces slowly...be it Liszt Hungarian Dance, or my solo lines...and going up 5-10bpm notches up, pushing myself to meet that tempo...and upon success, push it up another 10bpm notches again...till my fingers can run no more...

So I'm proud to say...that I have been able to play Beethoven's Sonata in D major, on speed...PRESTO...I love it...I feel the drama within...the intensity build and enhance by speed...the sudden mood changes...chord changes...inter-locking of different ideas...I would play it through and through, even when I'm not in my practice room...I could play it in my head...

Even for my solo licks...as an exercise, I use to transcribe licks after licks of Oscar Peterson...and have been playing them by memory...hehe...if I could boast so much...I can even play them in 12 keys!!!...

Then came the ego deflation mode...when my piano teacher asked me to work on the metronome again...but this time...from a fast speed, to a slow one...apparently, the touch of my fingers on the keys...and the sound that is produced...are only on the 'surface'...as I was 'fleeting' through the keys...so I've got to go back to square one, and work on my touch...

Talk about a slap on the face...and what is worse...I found that it was the ULTIMATE test of patience and endurance!!!...my fingers itch to place themselves in the speed they found themselves to be comfortable with...and the neurotic workings of my brain was struggling to put them in order!!...time seems to pass by so much slower...I can even feel my heart rate slowing down...and I struggled to concentrate...

I now realized that it wasn't me that was playing the fast speeds before...it was my body and brain, that was already on an auto mode...triggering notes after notes on its own, by memory...having to slow it 3 gears down, brought me to the manual mode, where I finally noticed...how rough I sounded before...the many tumbles that I have chosen to ignore...expressions that I have failed to note...

As I sit here, writing and sharing about it...it becomes all the more humbling...I am considering if I should start a piano practice journal...I realize that I am getting in touch with my feelings, and how I am responding to each practices...but man, to maintain 3 practice journals (classical piano, jazz piano and violin)...and a blog as well...is just almost impossible...not forgetting the fact that I am working and studying full time as well...

Ah, I will just post it up here when I can...

Busy Bee...

Graduation Recital was over just two days back...but I'm back on my feet again...with a new repertoire!!!...

The following are a few which I will be attempting for this month and next...

Hungarian Rhapsody #2 (1 piano 4 hands); by Franz Liszt
Sonata in D major; by Ludwig Beethoven
Perlude and Fugue in Eb major; J.S. Bach
Danzas Argentinas Op. 2; by Alberto Ginastera

*I will be performing the Hungarian Rhapsody with a friend of mine next month (May)...so I've got to give that one a good jump-start*...

An original arrangement of...
Tone's for Joan's Bones; by Chick Corea
Jitterbug Waltz; by Fats Waller

*I'm still taking lessons from my jazz piano teacher...so we'll see how it turns out!!*

Attempt...
..to play Imaginary Day; by Pat Metheny...though I highly doubt if I'm going to be able to produce the trance-like mood the same way Metheny did...but heck...I still wanna play it!!

Yeah, I've got my days packed...not to mention that I will also be working full-time...returning to my home-town more often...attending to my unfinished cross-stitching, and jigsaw puzzle...my books too, have been attention-deprived these past months...

Have been indulging in a mag called Off The Edge...politically humourous...yet with some good articles of our current political situation in Malaysia...neat!!

It did get worst after all

updates on my preparation for grad recital...(continued from here)

For an ensemble (band), I have chosen four not-so-simple-as-I-thought-it-would-be...Third Wind composed by Pat Metheny and Lyle Mas, Wildlife by Russell Ferrante, Rhapsody in Blue by our all famous George Gershwin and lastly, Mr. Melody, as sung by Natalie Cole and composed by Charles Jackson and Marvin Jerome Yancy....

Let's start with Wildlife, shall we??

....this is one complicated poly-rhythmic piece...as we had to juggle between a 7/8 time signature and a 12/8 time signature, both going on at the same time...it turned out to be quite simple, really...we were just suppose to take the sixteen notes that goes on throughout the 7/8 time...as a metronome...and count 12 sixteen notes from there...and WALLA...we have ourselves a poly-rhythmic pattern...the only problem is, how do we get the stupid sequence out of our head...and start listening out for what is "between-the-lines"....

But that wasn't the first problem I had to encounter...but I wouldn't want to spend 15 minutes elaborating on that...I have even shared this before in my previous post...though I must confess that after all that ordeal, I didn't come out very much techno-smart than I have before...

It turned out that the sequence that I have invested so many hours on...didn't really work for me(us)...not that it fell apart or anything...its just that the we never could end together with the sequence at the change of sections, you know what I mean?...somehow, somewhere...we, the human species sped up...and we leave little Woodchuck (I gave my sequence a name) behind...we didn't do it on purpose...but on the other hand, we couldn't afford the time of breaking down the whole song, and working out in sections once more...my graduation recital was in 2 weeks...and it is clear, time wasn't on our side...

So I decided that we go more primitive than we plan to...by asking another human species play Woodchuck's part...and we had to fire Woodchuck on the spot...he might be depressed...he might not...well, I will handle that later...may even use 'him' the next time...when we have the time to really sit down and nail the song down...

As for the choir, I've mentioned before...my original plan wasn't very much ambitious...just get a couple of my college-mates to sing the African words, suck in a couple of hand percussions...and we are good to go...but Mr. Arif's idea...was ingenious...he suggested that I go look out for an student from Africa to see if he/she could help me out...and that I did!!...He has not given me a reply, by the way...which reminds me, I need to do some follow up...

Third Wind...wasn't so difficult as I have expected...I discovered that when people say "You must listen to the song a couple of thousand times"...they were not joking...the last time I played it...I think I have listened to this song a couple of hundred times...and yet I failed...I couldn't pick up the 5 against 4 pattern easily...I am mis-counting ALL THE TIME...it led to quite a tension within my band, let me tell you...

But now, I have heard the song, till my ears peeled...and I find that...I can play all the tricky parts...of course, I make slips here and there...I'm still a slight tad nervous...

The song is almost done...we are just waiting to play with our lead guitarist...which was suppose to be a classmate of mine...but weeks back, he told me that he wouldn't be able to commit to practicing this piece...as he, too had his own graduation to prepare...he is graduating 3 days earlier than I...

No worries, thought...my now ex-lead guitarist is a responsible guy...and he managed to find me a replacement...frankly speaking, at first thought...I was slightly disappointed...and hesitant...but I now realized that all my worries was actually a waste of time...the current guitarist is a good one...managed to pick up the piece pronto...no problem...now, I just have got to find a good time where he and the rest of my band are free...so we can meet TOGETHER and practice...we have been practicing separately so far...

Rhapsody In Blue is A-okay...its about the only piece that we are REALLY down and good to go...I'm taking Chucho Valdes' arrangement more or less...a mix of mambo feel...and a dash of swing...ending with a solo flute and drums over a montuno...worked out nice...

Mr. Melody is okay too...I just need to work out several voicings in my chords that are found to be clashing with other of my band mates'...but besides that...we should be done...oh ya, we are adding in a guitarist to give it that funk-ish feel...it is after all a samba-funk-disco-poprock song...*grin*...

Well, that is all I can remember...now that I'm writing out the progress...I'm starting to feel better about this whole graduation performance thingy...thank God...

Misconception about Contemp...whatchamacalit...

This is the usual scenario...when visiting relatives...or even bumping into an ex-schoolmate, which you've been trying to avoid, the minute you finished high school.....

"Oh...so...what are you studying now??...Engineering degree??....Gosh, you must be making good money in future!!"

"Business Management?...wow....what are you majoring in?".....

"Bio-technology?...that's great!!...How many years before you graduate?"....

And the most common that I've heard so far....

"Doctor?....Gosh...you must have been a top student in your school!!...So clever".....

Well, you get my point...

But its a different case for me....almost every time I visit MY relatives....or even when I tag along with my mom to visit her friends...

"Hey girl (some of the old aunties just can't get the hang of my English name, so to be safe, they just stick to the name "girl"...)...so what are you studying now?....Contemp-what?..."

"Contemporary music?....what music is that?...is that the same as classical??"

"Contemporary music, majoring in performance?....wow, how bad did you do in high school??..."

"Contemporary music...dude, why do you take such an easy subject?...you will have so much time in your hands, that you'll be wasting too much time hanging out in mamak stalls!!"...

"Contemporary music...erm...let me see....erm...erm...

.*blank*/*silence*.....

And the best response that I get....tops the list....

"Contemp music?...you don't look like one...Where are your piercings?...Tattoos?...Do you smoke cocaine?...Does mummy know?..."...(*are you kidding me??*)

So...Summoning the little dignity that I have left...I would just like to make a statement here...for the sake of setting the record straight....to clear all obscurity....and for venting out purposes, of course...

1. Contemporary music...DOES NOT only consist of pop songs....we DO NOT only play pop songs...which consist of an average of 3-6 chords, and 2 basic chord progressions....Contemporary music covers music of the early 1900s...starting from even Stravinsky and Aaron Copland...who are actually classical composers...Contemporary music consists of Blues music, Jazz music (Cool Jazz, Swing Jazz, Big Band Jazz...etc), Rock and Roll, Rock, Metal, Disco and Dancing Music, RNB...get the picture?.....

2. We, contemporary students don't get life easy as many people think....we don't just play music...we have to study them too...It really escapes my imagination...and understanding...as to what and how people perceive Contemporary music to be....they seem to think that we just crank up the distortion on the guitar, strike a few notes in beat and in pitch....that's music....but I do beg to differ...

a)...Learning music...be it classical and contemp (they are a completely different genre, by the way)...takes just as much discipline and concentration...like any other degrees would require....Unlike some professions like business management, Mass Communication...(No pun intended on anyone at all, as I said...its just my opinion)....students would have to bury themselves among their text books and do countless hours of research papers night after night....For us music students, not only are we suppose to produce research papers, but we are expected to practice our instruments every day....to make sure that we stay in shape...and even this, I fail to do, because I'm just so packed with daily assignments and classes...in fact, even as I type this post...it is 1:30am, 7th April '07...and I've just finished my Modern Band Ensemble final exam one and half hour ago...yup...thatz right...I finished class today at 12am....talk about having free time, eh?

b)...Music isn't only learning about notes....we also learn about the theory behind the music...learning to understand what and why the composer has written the music piece the way he did....and through that, we learn to compose our own music too...besides that, we have got to know the history of how music has evolved...we learn Aural Training...transcribing music....Band Ensemble skills....so, tell me...which part of this is easy??....Heesh....

Hey, Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying that studying to be an Accountant or even a Pharmacist is a piece of cake....but honestly speaking...studying music...Contemporary music...ain't any easier either...

3)...true, the market for Contemporary music in Malaysia is small...but that don't mean that its stagnant...we are all here to study music...for the passion of it...be it in teaching, arranging, composing, performing...or even in music technology....we will survive...well, of course...the bland fact of life, would be that....not all of us would make music as our life long career...but, heck...I'm learning something that I truly love....my life is defined and I'm happy...enough said....

4)...Learning Contemporary music don't mean that I need to DYE my hair green, mousse it up....pierce my nipples and my belly....nor get a dragon tattoo!!!...

Its just really frustrating....being labeled "bad" or even "lost"....or worse..."loser"....just because of they do not understand the very thing that I study....well...sorry, if they don't agree with my choice of career...heck, I'm not living for anyone...but myself...