Thursday, June 26, 2008

A humbling moment

Just so you know, I do not have the best rhythm sense in the world...in fact, far from it...but rest assured, I've been working on it with my metronome, so my timing isn't that bad...

I just to hang on to cheap trills...by working my pieces slowly...be it Liszt Hungarian Dance, or my solo lines...and going up 5-10bpm notches up, pushing myself to meet that tempo...and upon success, push it up another 10bpm notches again...till my fingers can run no more...

So I'm proud to say...that I have been able to play Beethoven's Sonata in D major, on speed...PRESTO...I love it...I feel the drama within...the intensity build and enhance by speed...the sudden mood changes...chord changes...inter-locking of different ideas...I would play it through and through, even when I'm not in my practice room...I could play it in my head...

Even for my solo licks...as an exercise, I use to transcribe licks after licks of Oscar Peterson...and have been playing them by memory...hehe...if I could boast so much...I can even play them in 12 keys!!!...

Then came the ego deflation mode...when my piano teacher asked me to work on the metronome again...but this time...from a fast speed, to a slow one...apparently, the touch of my fingers on the keys...and the sound that is produced...are only on the 'surface'...as I was 'fleeting' through the keys...so I've got to go back to square one, and work on my touch...

Talk about a slap on the face...and what is worse...I found that it was the ULTIMATE test of patience and endurance!!!...my fingers itch to place themselves in the speed they found themselves to be comfortable with...and the neurotic workings of my brain was struggling to put them in order!!...time seems to pass by so much slower...I can even feel my heart rate slowing down...and I struggled to concentrate...

I now realized that it wasn't me that was playing the fast speeds before...it was my body and brain, that was already on an auto mode...triggering notes after notes on its own, by memory...having to slow it 3 gears down, brought me to the manual mode, where I finally noticed...how rough I sounded before...the many tumbles that I have chosen to ignore...expressions that I have failed to note...

As I sit here, writing and sharing about it...it becomes all the more humbling...I am considering if I should start a piano practice journal...I realize that I am getting in touch with my feelings, and how I am responding to each practices...but man, to maintain 3 practice journals (classical piano, jazz piano and violin)...and a blog as well...is just almost impossible...not forgetting the fact that I am working and studying full time as well...

Ah, I will just post it up here when I can...

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