I need you to understand...I want you to know...it is not that I accidentally left you out, on wishing you Happy Mother's Day...I wish I could do so...but I just couldn't...not without feeling the frustration, not without feeling the emptiness behind those words...
God knows that I wish, I don't feel this way...this dilemma of not wanting to have anything to do with you...Through your selfish actions, you have made these years a living hell for the family...my family...the people I care for...the only people that was there for you, when you were sick...when you were in need...You inconvenienced people so, that the whole world has to stop...just to see to your needs...
I have failed...as a grandchild, I'm afraid...I am a hypocrite, after all...I tell my brothers, that we should accept you the way you are...and to give you the respect...and that I have managed to do...
But I realized...that on such a special day as Mother's Day...I am unable to put aside my disappointment ...and to show you my care...and mean it...I wish I am able to let go...I wish I am able to forgive...for the tears you have caused my mum...for the tension within the family, just because you flew into a rage...for the years I have yearned for a grandma's love, but never got it...
It is with an honest heart, that I am pouring out in this blog...you are my grandmother by name and by blood...and for that, I will pay you the respect that is due to you...but I am really sorry...I can't bring myself to do more than that...cause in my heart, I never saw you as a loving grandmother...
If empty words still mean something to you...here it is...happy mother's day...
It is my hope and my prayer, that one day...I will learn to put aside my feelings...and to call you 'grandma' which much heartfelt meaning...but for now, this will have to do...
God knows that I wish, I don't feel this way...this dilemma of not wanting to have anything to do with you...Through your selfish actions, you have made these years a living hell for the family...my family...the people I care for...the only people that was there for you, when you were sick...when you were in need...You inconvenienced people so, that the whole world has to stop...just to see to your needs...
I have failed...as a grandchild, I'm afraid...I am a hypocrite, after all...I tell my brothers, that we should accept you the way you are...and to give you the respect...and that I have managed to do...
But I realized...that on such a special day as Mother's Day...I am unable to put aside my disappointment ...and to show you my care...and mean it...I wish I am able to let go...I wish I am able to forgive...for the tears you have caused my mum...for the tension within the family, just because you flew into a rage...for the years I have yearned for a grandma's love, but never got it...
It is with an honest heart, that I am pouring out in this blog...you are my grandmother by name and by blood...and for that, I will pay you the respect that is due to you...but I am really sorry...I can't bring myself to do more than that...cause in my heart, I never saw you as a loving grandmother...
If empty words still mean something to you...here it is...happy mother's day...
It is my hope and my prayer, that one day...I will learn to put aside my feelings...and to call you 'grandma' which much heartfelt meaning...but for now, this will have to do...
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