Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Gym Saga

You have got to join a gym membership, before knowing how it actually feels...The annoyance, and irritation that runs down your spine...every time you see it...Those inconsiderate bastards...out to show their myojo and macho-ness through their work-out...not realizing that they are actually embarassing themselves...or probably they do...

They grunt and groan bloody Mary...so loud, it can be heard a mile away...followed by a tenor shout of "Yeah, baby!!"..."Oh, come on! Come on!"...all just to psych themselves, and to show everyone around, what a killer workout they are having...I have always failed to comprehend, why they can't make their grunts normal sounding...and even save it for the last few reps, when they're busting the last reserve of their energy...

Slightly too narcissistic, if you ask me...wanting people to think that they are THE man, all ready to be on the cover of the Muscle Men magazine...

And good grief, you have got to check out the way they dress!!...I mean, if you look a bit like Chewbacca, more hair on body than skin...try not to go shirt-less...and for the guys, it is NEVER a good idea, to jog in spendex (if you get my groove)...you may risk looking like your guts spilled over, and we all know that, that ain't the first impression you want to give to date-able ladies...

And please, do not bare all...It is beyond my comprehension why some guys would choose to purchase shorts, that are too loose for them, and they know it...I know it would delight that idiot to know that I have managed to observe his dark brownish butt alright...and it was a horrendous sight...and no, I am not interested in anything else that you have to offer...wear a belt, for cryin' aloud!!

But women are very much guilty of this too...for one, please take off your make-up...you have no idea how scary it looks, when you have mascara smudged all over your face...and yes, it happened when you were wiping sweat off your face...and I'm sorry that I had to let you go around the gym with that look for an hour, before breaking the news to you...(well, to be honest, I'm not but oh heck...)...

And insisting that you are able to to fit into that baby size tube, well...I can't find the words to say...I mean, if you have a hot bod, and want to show it off...be my guest...but when all one can see, is rolls on your guts threatening to spill over, that ain't a very pleasant sight, I'm sure you'll agree with me...find a suitable gym clothe, and when you're back to size zero, you can jolly well try that tube again...but till then...I'd rather you don't...

B.O also known as Body Ordour...everyone has it...it just depends on the intensity, or the degree of it...but if you do happen to have one, get a deodorant before someone's nose starts burning...especially if you are going to have a go at the threadmill with someone already jogging by your side...you have no idea how difficult it is to hold one's breath when he/she is running 3-6 miles...

And those machine hoggers...parking themselves on a machine and yakking for 20 minutes (well, they are usually aunties) with their friends...or glue themselves to their cell phone...finish your jogging business and continue on with your chit-chat...if not, move away!!...

And to the man in my gym who shouts so loud to get himself pumped; My advice is that he slows and tones down a bit, before his ego takes a beating...from me...oh, one of this days...I would so love to seal his jaw, with my fist...I'm up to my neck with his groans...

1 comment:

eUGeNeGOh said...

haha.. then you better be lucky that your bro does not do it! muahahaha!