CBKD

I have always managed to convince myself...though there are countless books that I have purchased and yet not read, I will still be able to catch up with my reading when I retire...yea, and Samy Vellu will be Prime Minister tomorrow...heard the latest news?? (...Man, I've not posted anything on this guy for eons!!!)...

I was just thinking...if I were to compile all the books that I have YET to read, from every corner of my house, I suspect that I will be looking at quite a number of trees that I have deprived Mother Nature of, and having wasted gallons of poisonous printer ink...

My books can be found in all crook and nooks of the house, starting from my room (back in hometown), to my brother's, my parents, my washroom, the dining area, the living room, car, and to my dad's house in Kuala Lumpur...and my room here...My mum have persistently said that I should start 'giving them away so that it can benefit others'...but I have never done so...

I suspect I am suffering from CBKD = Compulsive Book Keeping Disorder...

Yes, so what if I made up those acronym on my own just a while ago...it may not be in the Biology books for now...but someday it will find its way there, for sure...someday...if there is ever such a disease, I am positive I have it...

I keep...

Books that are page-turners, because I may feel the urge to read it again one day...

Books that taught me something...because I may need to reminded of the lessons I've learned...

Books that has followed me since childhood...because I might just want to go back being a kid one day...

Books that were given to me as present...for its sentimental value...they may be a crappiest books ever sold...but I'll still hang on to it...

Books that are boring, because I might just need them, should I have difficulty sleeping...

Books that are expensive, because of the price I've paid for them...

Books that smell good...because...well, because they are MINE, of course!!!...

This is a shameful thing to say...but with so many trees sitting in my house, I am very much guilty of the fact, that at least one tree, has died for baseless reasons...me accumulating a collection of books, that I know I may or will never touch...

At this rate, I'll probably need to just stop working tomorrow...and spend my remaining years reading one book every few days...so the trees would have lived an accomplished life...and so would I...And what's best is, thanks to my ever-fading memory, I may never need to buy another book ever again...I would just need to 'eeny-minny-minnie-moe' through my old books, and voila!!!...I am bound to find one, that my memory cease to remember...and it would be as if, I am reading a fresh material once more...

I hate this...you may laugh...but I am not a wasteful person by nature...so looking at all these books starving of love and attention, does prick my side a little...well, a lot...Hence, I will now devise a plan to reduce the ever-growing mountain by...putting a book in my car, and bathroom...so I could finish off a couple of lines when I have an appointment with nature...but yes, I know that isn't the best option...but it will have to do for now...

Maybe I should just stop reading book reviews...

Stop dropping by the book-store every time I visit a shopping mall...

Go cold turkey for the early half of this year...or until I have finished reading the books that are currently in my possession...

Go through all my books, and see if there are books that I don't plan on reading anytime soon...and give them away...

yea...M-A-Y-B-E...

Btw, the next book I am planning to get...Mein Kampf (English translated), by Adolf Hitler himself!!!...well, I know its available online...but I'd like to have it on hard cover so that I'd....Oops...

Something about Friendster/Facebook...

I'm sure all of you guys have an online profile...Friendster, at least...or even Facebook, or similar likes...filling the cyberworld with information of how amazingly unique you are, by doing exactly what the rest of the world is doing...

I was just looking at a couple of my friend's online profile today...and checking out friends of theirs as well...when I suddenly realized, something of a common line, found in most of the online profiles...These people can really be complete posers!!!...These really, really self absorbed individuals, take their picture of their faces (only)...while staring wistfully into space...portraying endearing emotions.. dramatic make-up...some even porn-like... depressed, or even cute, pout-y, slutry looks...well, a couple of photos of these sort, I can probably take...I try to think of it as, they trying to explore the artistic side of their photography...but ONE HUNDRED PHOTOS???!!!...

And it gets worse...not contented with single photos of themselves...they have to assemble these 100 photos of their ever-so-beautiful faces into a collage of some sort...so that when one checks are their photos, they are completely swarmed by a gazillion different camera angles of their eyebrows, facial hair, flakey skin, nostrils, pimples, etc...etc...

I take it, that they are so opened about themselves, they want to share with you every details of their physic body, which includes their facial features...but this is just a tad too much...how annoying...

I have a male friend whom I have known back in high school...where he placed a photo of a guy (not him, mind you) that has smooth skin, Naruto-like hair, and has a dangerous, bad boy air around him...absolutely gorgeous looking...And when I checked out his profile, you can see through testimonials, after testimonials, many (especially girls) calling him, 'hot', 'super-licious', 'sexy thing' etc...all bordering on the pronographic...I mean, how freakin' desperate can you get???....btw, this friend of mine is just a normal ah-beng uncle, who sells pirated DVDs to the night...sells pirated computer CDs by morning...and is no way a hottie, Brad Pitt kind of way...

(For privacy purposes, I decided not to reveal his name...he is afterall, still my high-school friend...as much a fraud he is in cyber-space, what he does online, isn't of my business...and I will keep it at that...)

Of course, online profiles do have their perks as well...but it is sad how many people overdo it...I have seen friends of mine, have MULTIPLE friendster accounts...overloaded profiles and blogs, each one detailing their personal life to the second...and they have thousands of friends...

But this is my two cents thought...if one has more than 150 friends, he/she can be considered a celebrity with a small fan club of their own...and he/she no longer need an online profile...heesh...I mean, how many friends can one actually catch up with??...So, do people like me a favour...stick to about 100 friends or so...and pass the rest to me,alright..I need to update my social network too...

Some (mostly girls, sad to say)...are what I call...Facebook Whores...making a career out of clicking on the Facebook link...I met up with one of them, and upon expressing my dis-interest in facebook, she gave me a look, that could have suggested that I might as well just have defecated, vomited and spat on her bed...

But I will stand firm on my beliefs...I personally think that we homo-sapiens have been spending too much time at home with our white box...I would prefer a personal touch...talk to an actual living person...one that breathes...gossip a bit...do something worth while...hug a bit more...spread a bit more love...

Can you imagine...60 years down the line, on their death bed, people will no longer say, "I wish I have had spend more time in the office"....but "I wish I have had spend more time online"...how pathetic can that be?...what kind of existance is that??...Or one telling their grandchildren..."Oh, do you know, my ever suffering grandchildren...that your grandpapa had an awesome online profile at your age...I even jazzed up my HTML on Friendster, so that it sung a tune, while people are checking out my profile!!...can't believe that your grandpapa was that cool, eh?...Look at what you are doing now...tsk...tsk..."

Talking about that...I've spent too much time online...almost an hour, to be exact...I need to walk my talk now...and get out of my house...

And so should you...*winks*...

Letting Go.....

A brand new year...and hopefully, with improved habits...

I could start this post by stating the list of reasons of why I have been infrequently posting these past few months...and while I am at it, I would probably add that I have been traveling back to hometown more often, last month especially...and there weren't any internet line...my family isn't too big on Broadband/Streamyx stuff...The majority of the blame, would fall on my internship, which I was slogging to ace and pass, so that I could get a good credit on my paper...Results isn't out yet, so I am still trying to keep my fingers crossed...

But of course, nobody likes to read a post that starts with tonnes of insincere apologies and claims of how busy their lives have been...

So I'll just keep it short and simple...I have not been blogging, because I couldn't get myself to put my thinking cap on, and think about a blog entry...hence, my disappearing act...I've been suffering a lazy bone lately...

I envy people/authors/bloggers, who are able to write effortlessly...their brain juice are seemingly endless...while I struggle for the right words to come to me...and many times, it is as hopeless as leaving a bed unmade, and wish that the blanket will fold itself...maybe someone would be kind and care enough to do this ever-so-painful chore for me...Words have been absent as I have been...

I wish for a burst of creativity now...

Year 2008, have been all in all...quite generous, I must say...no monstrous challenges, unlike years before...or probably experiences of the past, has made me tougher...or maybe I am just living in denial...I don't know...

Am trying to find my own identity at the moment...what I want to be remembered by...I am now an official graduate student of UCSI, having passed all my subjects (finally...thank God!!!)...but I am not sure if I want to be bound into this comfortable concept of 'music teaching' for life...that the society perceives us to be...

Many times, I feel incomplete...inadequate...I feel there isn't anything that I am doing...one that makes me stand out...that would become my forte...one point against my music college...is the fact that we are introduced to everything that a music industry can offer...but we aren't given the hands on experience, so we could actually explore what we would really like to do...in other words, I do have a general idea about recording and producing, composition, performance...but it is all basically theory and facts...

I worry too much, some people say...and I guess they are right...I am a jazz piano major...and I should work at being good at it...instead of crouching in a small corner, and throwing myself a small pity-party...*yea, I need a good kick in the butt at times...no, all the time*...I always worry about not being able to catch up with my peers...but constantly worrying and beating myself up...yet, doing nothing about it...gets me nowhere...

I just need to learn to cut myself some slack...get my fingers grinding the chords...I've been too careful ...just playing safe last year (2008), a protective layer I placed around me after all the hurts I have suffered in terms of friendships...but I have rested enough...

Time to let go...and just enjoy the ride...

Happy New Year, everyone!!!...May your year be as exciting as mine will be...*winks*...

House bound...

Damn it...I hate the whole process...the shame of having to cancel classes...the guilt one faces..."what will people think" thoughts...

I broke my car number plate yesterday...parked slightly too front to the curb...so when I reversed out, my frail plate couldn't take the friction...and just broke away, like a dead tooth...you'd think that I would just cut the complaining...tie the blardy thing up...and just keep moving forward...

But no...it was crushed, into pieces...and like pounded garlic...

And after the frequent police checks, I am just too petrified to step out of my house, till I get this fixed...

As for now, my life is in total chaos...dramatic as usual...

I want some order!!!!...

The Reality of Shopping...for clothes...

I am aware that I have mentioned this before...but I realized that I'm not quite done with ranting so I'd like to add something to the post I wrote some time ago...

I H-A-T-E SHOPPING!!!!!!

Well, there are certain times when I would make exceptions of course...nothing is completely absolute...minus book bargains, and an occasional wine tasting (that doesn't count as shopping, does it??)...I absolutely detest shopping...you know when I hate it most??...its the days just before Christmas, Chinese New Year, Raya...any big celebration that shopping malls will maliciously unleash their ultimate weapon...the BIG GRAND SALES...

You'd think that it is the one and half hour long queue of cars scouting for parking spaces that could annoy me...or maybe it was the bad disco-tized Chinese New Year music distorting on an inflamed amplifier...it could also be all those bitches of destruction that threatens to rummage through every neatly folded clothes on sight...

But no...I'm not going to rant about that today...

For all my friends who have seen me...or if you have actually met me more than once...you've probably seen my whole wardrobe...plain t-shirt and long jeans...an occasional sleeveless shirt thrown in (which I will then attempt to cover with my jumper/sweater, sweating my blessed pores out)...I am just no good with fashion...nor have any interest to shop for clothes...my friends usually recoil in horror, upon discovering my dis-interest...but surprisingly, I am not at all affected by it...even till now...my mum usually has to drag me to a shopping mall, at year end...but she gets so turned off by my bored look...she usually lets me hang on in the book-store while waiting for her to finish...

But here is the fundamental issue of shopping for clothes...

Most clothes that you see in shopping malls...are usually NOT designed for ladies with...a certain volume...

I mean...if one is a stick insect, that has a twig for a figure...and with small breast like split peas stuck on an ironing board...then she can sleep well...she is completely 'insured'...everyone designs for her...hell, she could wear a potato sack and still look great!!!...

However, if you are not-so-proportionally shaped, like me...y'know...undefined curves, a love handle here and there...TONNES of cellulite...then you're in for a tough time, pal...completely out of luck...all those elegant clothings that fits on those blardy mannequins look shit on you...but we all know it, don't we??...Yea, those darn mannequins never have got to wear bras...

Fine...so I go inside a shop...looking for some light-coloured top, to go with my green pants...I saw some interesting clothes (shirt and pants) on various mannequins...so I decided to pick a similar design, with the right size, of course...and headed for the fitting room...

So far, so good...but as soon as I try on those dainty clothings that looked so good on those plastic figurines...I looked into the mirror, and at once...was confronted by what looked like a hideous and freakin' whale...not a pretty sight at all, I'll have you know...the top spurts with flesh that has no place to go...not the expected sexy "Oh, you can see a bit of my bra" kind of way...more of the "OMG, I hope it didn't take more than 4 people to strap you into that little gizmo!!" kind of way...and also, the pants were revealing bits of underwear that they shouldn't...

With the little pride I have left in me, I gracefully and undauntingly made my way out of the shop...when I realized...those mannequins will never have to deal with such a traumatic experience as this...Not only are they more than modestly proportioned...but the clothes they were wearing was ever so cunning pinned so that they look as if the clothing fits just right...and like I said...they never had to wear bras...

Lucky hussies!!!!

Something about Christmas...

Got stung by the Christmas bee early this year...Christmas isn't much in Malaysia...more commercialized that I had hope it would be...decorations and lights hung all over the shopping mall...christmas songs (remixed, mind you) played over and over again...

Well, there isn't much going on in the neighborhood, I must say...life still goes on pretty normal...we don't really see much Christmas excitement going on around...it is as if, Christmas celebrations are only contained in shopping mall and churches...nothing beyond that...though the celebration exist, the warmth does not...people here are kinda cold...no smiles, everyone going about their business...

Of course, millions of people swarm into the shopping mall, for the BIG YEAR END sales...I, on the other hand, go there to "wash my eyes"...it brings a smile to my face, whenever I see people buying gifts for their loved ones...imagining the smile and delight of their toddlers that Christmas morning, knowing how much care and thought their parents/loved ones have given into the choice of gifts...

I have always wonder how Christmas abroad would look like...a pure white Christmas, I would say...

Lights lit up, door to door...even around the trees...stockings hung near the fire-place...little children with their mittens crouching near the fire to keep warmth...snow-mans, and snow ball fights...hugs from one family to another...peace and good will wishes...everyone extends a merry Christmas...even to a stranger...beggars in the street are invited in to keep warmth....and of course, there are carolers as well...

I don't know about you...but there is something about the carolers singing that tugs my heart...singing all those Christmas carols, just warms my heart even at the darkest hour...

If it warms my heart here, I wonder how God would feel hearing the angels sing...

Have yourself a Merry Lil' Christmas!!!!...

p/s : (Photo taken by scottfeldstein displayed in Flickr)

Much Ado about Fishes

I'd never thought I'd do it...and best of all, I'd never thought that I would be able to convince my Boyfriend to let down his guard and join me, in this un-dignify-ing act!!!...

A year ago, if someone were to tell me to cough out RM38 for little fishes to feast on my skin, I would have given you THAT look...the look that I usually reserve for idiots...*grin*...hehe, yet, despite all my vows about not being tempted/influenced by the trend of the society, I, without shame and only a slight hesitation...summoned the little guts that I had left...and head down for a fish spa at MidValley...

Being my compulsive character, this trip wasn't really planned and quite spontaneous...many of my friends came back with positive reviews, and were raving about it so much...that it really got me curious to see what the whole fuss was all about...yet, since I didn't want to go solo, I dragged poor Boyfriend along to join the experience...

For all the positive and exciting words they had for the fish spa, they sure forgot to mention how blardy TICKLISH it could be!!!...Yes, I am ticklish at all sides...my Boyfriend is especially ticklish at the foot...so he is at a slight disadvantage compared to me...*grin*...

So yes, for a good ten minutes, my Boyfriend and I were giggling...with complete disregard to other customers who were peacefully having a chat/reading a magazine...etc...While those fishes were having an eating frenzy, I struggled to not fidget around, and let them go about their business...just so that I can get my money's worth...yes, that is the China-man mentality, I am aware of that...thank you very much...

These fishes were supposedly able to clean off any dead skin flakes, therefore leaving your skin smooth and refreshed...as if having gone through skin exfoliation...The way the fishes were going for my feet, you'd would have thought that they were starved for days or something...(which btw, the thought did occur to me, while going through the whole procedure)...

Having gone through the nibbling sensation for 30 minutes, one of the staff informed us that our time was up, and we were to proceed to the massage parlour (the package we paid for, came with a massage)...I left the aquarium...NOT without a souvenir!!!...Somehow the bigger fish managed to nibble my big toe raw...till it bled...funny, I read somewhere that these gentle fishes were supposed to be toothless...

I did some reading up online upon returning home, happy with the general experience, yet slightly disturbed by the fact that the fishes were behaving agressively, unlike kind-mannered mud-sucking species that they were supposed to be...and here is what I found out...

Turns out, that Dr. Fish/Garra Rufa are actually slender little fishes (as I originally thought) with a mouth like bottom feeder fish...I wasn't sure about the 'beginner' fish tank that I first sat in...they were quite small, so I couldn't tell...but the 'hard core' fish tanks were larger and wide...resembling little phirannas...just not as aggressive...Dr. Fishes, when nibbling on dead skins releases a certain compounds that reputedly help skins problems...whereas, fake fishes (I believe it is called Chin Chin Yu), are starved, so that they feed on whatever is touches their water...in this case, it was my foot...and sunk their blessed teeth into it...

I dare not accuse the fish spa of deceiving their trusting customers and marketing a fake fish spa experience...but I'll definitely show you this...

This is how a real Dr Fish/Garra Rufa is suppose to look like...


And these were the monsters found in the spa I was in...

Need I say more??

But nevertheless, I must say I still enjoyed the foot and shoulder massage...I'll probably go back for that...but for fish spas...I think I'll need to go for another bout of scouting again...

Wait!!!...whatever am I talking about?...Why shouldn't I reveal the name of the spa I was in?...Man...I must be getting my priorities all wrong...

Its the Kenko fish spa (it has a rather loud music when the link appears, so make sure your speaker/ear phones volumes are down)...ever heard of it??...if yes, don't ever drop by there again...if no...don't ever drop by there at all...

Now how is THIS for sensitivity??

"....residents living in slope areas should be more sensitive to their environments as landslides can happen anywhere."

- Energy, Water and Communications Minister Datuk Shaziman Abu Mansor
(report here)

That's the way, old dude...suddenly the victims play a role in causing the landslides of Bukit Antarabangsa...I bet the developers and local councils sits down at a corner...smiles and waves???

It is situations like these...that our frustration take its toll...
Avoidable landslides happen, politicians take their place...and says what needs to be said...political talk...
"More researches need to be made..."
"More task forces to be prepared..."
"More reviews of land to be done..."
"Construction permits to be frozen for now..."
"Will get to the bottom of this..."

"Stop hillside projects", says PM Abdullah Badawi...so the stop work will be effective for 1-2 months...till the noises are pianissimo...but in the 3rd month, you'll see contractors swarming the land again...not after having given some under-table money to respectable politicians...

Touch wood...but if one of their family members were to be a not-so-fortunate victim in this incident and having lost a life, I bet he would be saying things of these sort so calmly, that's for sure...

Ein Funken Hoffnung...

Heaven smiling back at us, while bidding us good night...There is hope for humans still...Yesterday's sighting...of Jupiter, Venus and our moon 'uniting' together...photo taken from this site...

Blessed dreams, everyone!!...

One Hundred Things...

1. I love history and mythical legends...
2. I prefer not to make empty talks, trivial conversation...it makes me feel like a fraud...a hypocrite...pretending that I am concerned, when I barely know the person...
3. I love crowds in a concert, but hate crowds in the night-market...an irony, I know...
4. I'm an acrophobic - an irrational fear of heights...I can't look down from a tall building, or enter a lift (that provides a marvelous view of the city) without feeling nervous...
5. Yet I don't feel any motion sickness boarding a plane...
   
6. I have always wanted to go to the Genting Theme Park when I was a child...
7. My wish to play in the theme park came through when my dad had to attend a meeting in Genting...
8. My dad paid for the tickets for me, mum and my two siblings...it was bombshell for my dad at that time...but we didn't participate much...(long queues, didn't want to go alone, mum didn't want to come with me, siblings need taken care of, and many other factors)...dad was upset...
9. I always felt guilty about that...
10. When my college had permission/license to upgrade themselves from a University College to a University (these British systems), they changed their name from UCSI (University College of Sedaya International) to UCSIU (Unwavering Commitment to Serve Intentionally University)...
11. My intestines and colons auto-knot themselves every time I am reminded of that...
12. My degree certificate will be carrying the name :...I hereby certify Lessajinomoto has completed, blah, blah, blah..."...and signed " Unwavering Commitment to Serve Intentionally University (UCSIU)"...
13. If that does happen, I will hang myself....with shame...man, what a mouthful of name...
    
14. Raw eggs gross me out...
15. So does a nest full of cockroaches...
16. I can play the piano and violin...
17. But I've still a long way to learn...painful finger exercises to endure...
18. My Cantonese is "half a cup full"
19. So is my Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), which is supposedly my mother-tongue...
    
20. My English can be considered reasonably okay...both Westerners and Chinese alike understand me well...
21. My Mandarin is painfully "whole cup empty" if there is such a word...I can barely string a sentences, without my mum snorting water through her nose...laughing...HARD...
22. I think there should be a special place in hell for animal abusers, and child rapist...
23. I love having chunky peanut butter as a whole...bread-free...just me dipping the spoon into that piece of beauty, and licking it off like ice-cream...
24. I would never call an unmade bed, or a slight creative chaos in my room...a state of national emergency...
25. I can drink...wine especially...but never really had the guts to go full blown pissed drunk...even back at home...
26. I would want to rule the world for a while...
27. If I were a world ruler, I would take a shot-gun, blow off the heads of every single Samy Vellu(s) and Syed Hamid(s) in this world...and happily toss their bodies overboard...the world would be a happier place without them...
28. I don't get angry easily...I only save it for times when I have reached the end of my patience...and God knows there is no turning back...
    
29. But when I do...be somewhere else...
30. I can still be short tempered at times...but I am never bad tempered...
31. I pity people who has life too easy...I wish for hardship on people, not to make their life a living hell...but so that their life would hold more meaning...and there is self-respect found in the process...
32. I don't agonize over mis-understandings in friendships...
33. I believe mis-understandings just make us understand each other more...
34. I am not much of a looker...I gain and lose weight easily...
35. I am OK with that...
36. I never smoked a ciggie nor pot...
37. I don't intend to do so...ever...
38. I always believed that scoring a B- or C for my final term subjects does not make me a sore loser...Bad attitude when scoring an A does...
    
39. But I have to keep telling myself that...
40. I love Bargain shops...but I'd hate to bargain a price with dealers...
41. I drive a Toyota Corona 1.6...he is older than me by two years...
42. I find the guitar and violin femininely sexy...
43. As for the piano, I find him upright and macho with firm abs to show...and square...
44. I don't know much computers, but I am no bimbo...
45. I am no rocker either, but I don't mind listening to Metallica the whole night through...
46. My childhood all-time favourite cartoon...was Care Bears
47. My teenage all-time hated tv show...was Telly Tubbies...and Winter Sonata...
    
48. My now all-time favourite cartoon...is The Simpsons!!!...
49. Being a girl, I don't see whats the big deal with Formula One racing and England Premier League...
50. But I will happily watch Top Gear (car show) and join the crazy nuters to watch the World Cup Final. live...no matter how late they may be...I never claim to understand what the tv announcer talks about...
51. I never voted in my country before...
52. I am not proud of that...
53. I didn't vote for Abdullah or Najib...
54. I am proud of that...
55. Most embarassing movies of all time...Antoo Fighters (2008), if translated, is just merely a lame version of Malay ghost fighters...and Cicakman (2006), also known as Lizard Man...trust the local production house to come out with such an UN-Marvel like name...lizard, of all things...a house-hold pest...
    
56. Talking about house-hold, mum thought of ways to get me to love doing house hold chores...even to the point of suggesting to her friend to pay me some wages to clean her house...
57. That failed MISERABLY...
58. I love to cook...my mum doesn't believe that and I don't blame her...I always ran/found excuses when she asked me to help her around the kitchen...what she doesn't know is I prefer to cook...explore, I would call it...alone...save me the nagging...
59. I hate formalities/protocals of any kind...be it for culture, family, or work...
60. I wear a 3 and 1/2 size shoe...
61. To date, I hold 3 visible scars and 5 not so visible scars...all thanks to a clumsy childhood...
62. Unlike normal gals, I only own 3 pair of shoes so far; 2 silhouettes and a sports shoe...excluding sandals, of course...
63. I am proud owner of 4 handphones...but only 2 works...others just help me take up space...
    
64. I love rum and whiskey...
65. I thought Johnny Walker was a macho man, until a friend of mine burst my fantasy bubble 2 years ago...
66. When friends mention XO, I always mistaken it as "ass-hole"...and they laugh at me...
67. I thought Maybelline was a friend of my friends...until they gave me THAT look...it was a make-up brand...
68. My pet peeves are endless...I shall not waste time listing them here...just check out my post...
69. I dance with 2 left feet...fridge style...completely stiff...
70. I've never been to a prom or any official school functions before...
71. But to be honest, I don't feel I've missed out on any of those things...
72. My idea of a good time, is a few of my loved ones/friends in a beach, each holding a cup of pina coloda and just talking the night away...
73. I love watching Johnny Depp and Edward Norton movies...but I don't think they are that attractive...
74. I just wish they would explore more personalities instead of different characters but of same personalities : Depp, funny and quirky; Edward Norton, intelligent with duo personalities...
75. I don't call myself a sexist...but I absolutely detest guys who thinks gals should be seen and not heard...therefore need not be knowledgeable...a gal who loves reading, doesn't make her a threat to your already dim-wit mind, you morons...
76. Did I say 'detest??...I meant to say 'hate'...
77. As a new-born baby, my dad welcomed me home with the biggest car one could possibly find...a lorry...
78. Dad placed me on the passenger seat, and he had to hold me, just in case I fell over...
79. Record time for longest meal; 3 and 1/2 hours when I was about 4 years old...I fell asleep on the sofa, with half-chewed food still in my mouth...
80. I still take my own sweet time to eat; so my friends complain...old habits die hard...
81. My childhood friend was a gal, who was with me everywhere I went...she disappeared when I found my real childhood friend at age 10...she still drops by occasionally...especially when I feel low or down...introducing...Marcy, a figment of my imagination...
82. I keep an account book that records every single penny I receive/spent every single day...even till now...
83. Many people finds that weird...
84. I find it weird too...it doesn't go along with my compulsive personality...but money runs out of my pocket faster than I can remember...so it helps to keep a record...
85. Believe it or not, I was once an extrovert...
86. Now, I am completely a hermit crab...almost reclusive, except during book sales and get-togethers...
    
87. I've learn the hard way, that there are times you've got to be cruel, to be kind...
88. I can be too kind at times, I don't know it, until it kills me...
    
89. I am physically inproportionate...wide shoulders, undefined waist...not-so-slim legs...but small hands and feet...
90. I THINK I am okay with that...
91. I never thought it would be that difficult to think out 100 things to share about myself...
92. I am thinking that now...
93. I can't believe I am saying this...but I miss high school...and I wanna go back...
94. Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton scares me...
95. I am sure you'll agree with me on that one...
96. I think that finding a good politician, is almost as impossible as finding an honest thief...
97. Talking about that, I never hid my dis-taste for politicians like Samy Vellu, and Syed Hamid...check #27...I am honest, as far as that is concern...
98. I am starting to regret writing this post...it is sucking my brain cells dry...
99. Have I shared that when my brain doesn't work, my tummy does??...Lessajinomoto hungry now...*sniff*...
100. I never found Facebook to be fascinating!!!

There!!!...I am done!!!...I thought I will never finish...*grin*...now...mind sharing one of your own??...

Living an Instant Life...

It has been a while, since I've last taken slow-paced walking steps...observed the drama around me for a while...sat down to gather my thoughts, etc...I'd never thought I'd be swallowed whole, by the demands of my work...constantly worrying and being kept awake by the countless calls and decisions that I've yet to make...

Living the fast paced life...it just hit me, that despite all my complaints about how life is sometimes being unfair...I realized that I actually do have quite a good one...blessings I've yet to count; a roof over my head, electricity and air-con at my expense, a car to drive (as old as it may be...its a manual...but I LOVE manual cars...)...a music degree...and best of all...no ARRANGED MARRIAGES!!!...

Besides, I realized that we live in a completely fool-proof world...Instant everything... Just a while ago, out of curiosity, I decided to google up the word "INSTANT", just so to see what kind of instant stuffs we have...and believe it or not...I just realized that there is such a thing as Instant Blogging!!...

Yea, no kidding...now, keeping a blog no longer requires brain-juices nor any effort to share!!...In that link, you can instantly generate another blog post, until you find one that satisfies you...following that, you just copy and paste!!!...no copyrights, whatsoever!!!...start a blog without breakin' a sweat...

I mean, how much more lazier can we homo sapiens be???...we invent cars that winds down windows for us, starts the engine, auto-switching gears (man, I can go on and on with this...)...its idiot proof too...completed with air-bags, auto-lock systems, electronic stability controls, tire-pressure monitors for the dummies...take all these technologies away, and our death rates will go up by a 200%....and that is probably an under-estimation...

Instant noodles, instant photo-printing, fast food, instant cash withdrawals...I'd be honest with you...without these unhealthy yet "good" technology, I would not have survived this long...imagine a world without microwaves, I'd be forced to learn how to cook...I'd be doomed to spend eternity in the kitchen, churning butter and ice-creams...wringing my blessed hands sore...chair with rollers, so you save yourself the trouble of walking 3 steps forward and back...damn it, you don't even have to be a whiz kid to handle a camera!!!...completely moron-proof, it even has a blardy hand stabilizer for the sorry unstabilized hands!!...

Many things that required skills before, are now enjoyed by many...to a certain extend, I feel the somehow, in exchange for technology, the art is lost...there holds no more value, in culinary skills...driving...photography... Well, I can't complaint, can I?...I am very much a butter finger myself when it comes to photography...I cheat a lot, and the photos you see in my photo collection are most probably touch-ups, ah...thanks to Photoshop Adobe...

I no longer remember how to write an official letter by pen...all the formalities that needed my attention...business languages...heck, even my spelling has gone awry!!!...unlike years before, where I was forced to look up the Oxford Dictionary, Blogspot automatically highlights your spelling mistakes...and grammar too!!!...writing now, has never been easier...

Yup, its an instant world alright...I can imagine, 100 years down the line...we will all be fat obese people, with a travelling space-chair...no longer remembering how it feels, to walk...dance...or even run across green meadows...wait a minute...I am not sure if there will even be a meadow...probably a concrete one...with 3D LCD screen with pictures of it!!!....

Sometimes I wish things weren't so instant after all...then I'm sure we will appreciate every ounce of effort we have to give...we wouldn't take things for granted then...

Torn between the two...

Some say that dreams is a way your subconscious communicates with your conscious...as far as science is concern, dreams are sequencial images associated with REM (Rapid Eye Movement)...there are even those who believe that some dreams are sometimes prophetic...as Joseph of the Bible's dream was...

I highly doubt mine is...

Yesterday, I dreamt...my grandfather was gravely ill...and my dad was desperately trying to find ways to finance my grand-dad's medical fees...for some reason, we were in church then...and we received news...that my grandma had passed away on the operating table...apparently, she had chest pains and have admitted herself to the hospital...without informing any of us...

In that dream...I realized that despite all my frustration and my rants about her...I felt a deep regret that she had to pass on with no one by her side...

That was when I woke up...

Somehow I can't get my mind of that dream...and it keeps coming back to haunt me...not because I felt it was a bad omen in anyway...but it is because of the conflicting dilemma that is before me...

I have kept a safe distance between me and my grandma for quite sometime now...so that I do not find myself unknowingly trapped in her ever intertwining cob-webs...and yet, at the very same time...I feel guilty as it gives me no pleasure to do so...

Yet I know, upon inviting her into my life again, is just going to be a mere repetition of frustrations and manipulation...

I am not sure if I am prepared for that to happen again...

I had a dream...

Many of my friends say that they do not recall, what they had dreamt the night before...some have even strangely insisted that they do not dream...one of my friends dream in black and white, colour blind, I suppose...I am not sure...

But I, on the other hand, have been able to recall my dreams ever since I could remember...heck, I even remember a dream, I had I was a kid!!!...I was about 6 or 7 years old, I think...

This was my dream then...( I still remember every single detail of it...)

I was walking down a lane, which led me to a cross-road...to my right, the lane was wide and inviting...it led to a nice, gigantic, brightly lit house...I noticed that many couples were walking too...heading towards that mansion...The women were dressed in a Victorian theme...very much elaborated pomegranate patterns and long tight sleeves...and the guys wearing the satin doublet and short cape...really Baroque-ish kind...

On to my left, though...was a very tight and narrow lane...so narrow, that the few people that were crossing it, had to balance, as if on a tightrope...that lane wasn't as brightly lit...and seemed quiet...

I walked to the mansion, all curious about what all the fuss was about...I wasn't permitted entry, so I could only look in, through the windows...and there was music, and people dancing...drinking and merry-making...

But somehow a sense of uneasiness crept inside me, and into my bones...there was something eerie about it, but yet I could not put my finger on it...I looked up to the ceiling inside...big florescent light bulbs hanging there...when suddenly, I noticed that there was something dirt-like that was inside those glass bulbs shifting ever so slightly...I can't explain how I knew...but I knew in my heart that those were some mega eye-balls observing the people dancing below...and I desperately tried to stop the people from entering the mansion...

Obviously, I failed...they ignored me, thinking I was some kid with disillusions...or unclear state of mind...there were screams behind me following that...and a state of darkness...I looked behind and realized that the mansion has changed into a red dragon (have been reading too many fairy-tales, I think)...people tried to run, but they were all gobbed up by that gigantic dragon...and as for those who were already in the "mansion"...were beyond rescue...I was left alone...

For one reason or another, the dragon did not devour me as I would have expected...I headed for the narrow road...the dragon following behind closely...trying to blow me off the road...(there wasn't any grass or whatsoever...don't ask me why...I can't make logic of my dreams at times...actually, all the time!!)...

Then I woke up....

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15 years and more now...and I am still wondering what is the significance of it all...that led me to remember this specific dream so clearly...hmmmmmmm

Show me da $$$$!!!

Okay...first of all, my mum ain't gonna like this if she finds out...so lets hope she doesn't visit my blog no more...secondly, for those of you who knows my mum, do me a favour and zip it up, will ya...thanks...no rewards, though...*grin*...

I just lost (for the moment) RM1.6k...which is a lot of money, especially for a person like me, who earns just enough wages to cover her monthly expenses (piano and violin lessons, food, petrol, etc)...

No, it wasn't robbery, though it is pretty rampant these days...it wasn't scams either...

You see, I usually do my students a favour, by helping them purchase instruments or whatever they need for their lessons. One can't get much discount buying books, but we music teachers do get a special discount when it comes to purchasing music instruments...especially when dealing with the instrument dealer themselves, and not through any franchisee....

All my students who have purchased music instruments through me, have been quite disciplined so far...they know my financial situation, and are good to their words...some paying me the full sum by cash (yea, I get really scared knowing that I am holding a couple of thousand Ringgit CASH in my handbag), some by cheque...well, mostly cash...

Naively, I never asked them to pay a deposit (which I should have, of course), as they seemed really serious about the purchase...besides, all of them gave me no trouble and was prompt in closing the deal...

Until now...

One of my adult students have been expressing interest in purchasing a keyboard with a budget of RM1.5k-2k...she needed it anyway, since she does not own a piano, but is taking up pop piano lessons with me...so she asked me to look for one...which I told her I will...she even offered to put a down payment (which I should have taken, but being the idiot that I was...didn't)...

I placed an order for the Casio keyboard that matches her needs...got it at RM1.6k when the market price was RM1.9...the keyboard arrived in a couple of days, and I send her a message to inform her so...she replied that she wanted to see it, but wouldn't be able for the coming 3 weeks since she had to attend a training, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa...so I said, that she could do so once she comes back...

I hate it, when at this point when I am doing people a favour, I still have to constantly follow up on them, like a naggy grandmother...

3 weeks passed and still no news...I messaged her again, quite irritated this time...and freaked out, upon reading her reply..."I need to do some research first."...what blardy research?...why didn't you tell me in the first place?...why tell me now?...why don't you just not tell me at all??...

And finally, 3 days after..."I think I would prefer a digital piano. Can you please help me look out for one?"...

I gave her a good piece of my pewny mind...and insisted that she would in the least help me find a buyer...I got three "sorry(s)" from her...and a dial tone...never heard from her since...not even attended my class...till now...that was 2 weeks ago...

So now, I am stuck with a new keyboard, with no one to sell to at the moment, as I have got no new students to introduce it to, I can't tell my boss as I'll be fired for not helping them sell the company's instrument (which by the way, is much more expensive...and whats more, no commission for me)...all my music friends either have got a keyboard of their own...or need a keyboard that has more functions that the model that I am holding...

Yes, if you're asking...I definitely have learnt my lesson...though I do wish that it didn't have to happen now...all the money that I have saved for my trip to Aussie...just evaporated!!!...damn it!!...

Oh, will you grow up??!!

I think its no big news to anyone, that USA has been suffering one of its worst economic downturn since the time of Depression back in 1929. While our Malaysia politicians can tell us otherwise, that we are not all that badly affect, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa...even I, an ignorant fool that is completely clueless about stock markets and wat nots...knows that as long as we depend on international trade which deals in US Dollars, we will definitely not be spared from the effects of this economic tsunami...that's for sure...

One would have thought that with USA slipping into recession, Singapore too...our politicians would have buckled up and unite for once, to evaluate the current market, and how to ride through this storm...but NNNOOOooooooo...our politicians still have the energy to call each other 'bastards' live on telly...and fighting for the UMNO president and vice president post...squabbling about 30% Malay bumiputra special rights under the New Economic Policy...and multi-lingual road-signs...

Yea, real neat, I tell ya...

Even private sectors have started practicing cost-cutting measures...less new recruits, retrenchment even...lower operating and transporting cost, no entertainment, less bonus, etc...why, even I have stopped going to fast food restaurants for my usual treats...no more massages...no more book-shopping...I mean, it doesn't take an economist to know that financial crisis as serious as this would not improve overnight...

At times like these, one would look to our politicians for leadership, direction and assurance...which in my country, I am afraid to confess...is extremely lacking...even to the point, that all they can say is "We are not affected by the economic downturn of USA"...I would say its a load of bull...

So far, I've been following the newspapers through and through...looking out for news that our politicians are actually preparing the nation for the economic crisis that will only get worse through year 2009...

And guess what our politicians are REALLY well-prepared for???

“I would like to assure the public that the authorities are well prepared should there be floods,” - Prime Minister-to-be, Najib Abdul Razak...(bold, mine)

Real classic...

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