Thursday, August 28, 2008

Handling Grief...

The mother of a dear friend of mine just passed on yesterday morning...this came as a shock, as her mother was found to be quite healthy, despite battling an advance breast cancer for a few years now...

What words of comfort can one offer to a friend in times like these? Her mother was her whole world, her beacon of light through all the turmoils in her family and life...My friend have been having family issues years before...and her mum was her only source of comfort...the reason that she continued to stay strong, and continue her studies...now, with her 'reason' gone, what can I say to help her hang on?

It is times like these that I feel utter helplessness...Give me a tough maths question, I will solve...Give me a confusing cooking recipe, I will google it up online...Give me a crying kid, with an injured knee, I will comfort...but give me someone with a broken heart/spirit, and I fall apart...

Words mean little to me or her even...they feel cheap, as I send her an SMS to 'stay strong'...if I were a grieving child, the last thing I want...is for people to tell me how I should re-act in situations like this...if anything, I just want to plop down on my bed, and sleep for eons and light years...hoping that it is all nothing but a nightmare...

It hurts me to see her grieving all alone...I might be there for her in person...but still, the loss and pain is hers to bear...I would have given my right arm, to have her spirits up again...

2 comments:

eUGeNeGOh said...

First of all, me condolence to your friend, even though I do not know her. And about the not knowing how to comfort her part, i have to agree with you. I wouldn't know what to say either. Think what I'll do is just let her be. I mean, be there for her of course, but well.. For me, I wouldn't say too much. I think trying to explain to her about "God letting things happening for a reason" will just instantly be rebounded back to you, cz she porbably just wouldn't buy it. Heh.. Oo yeah, which reminds me, did anyone tell you that people on this earth has certain among of breath, and that when you finish using up the among of breath given to you, that's when you die? Give some comments.

Lessajinomoto said...

hmmm...I'm not sure if I would have put it that way...it would literally mean that we have no say at all...as to when we die or live...

For example...driving safely would be a good decision, should one choose to appreciate life...but if one wouldn't give a two penny about his/her life...then a good life is perfectly wasted...

If you ask me, this is how I would put it...So yes, death is undeniable...when a body is broken, it isn't much use holding on to it...so one lets go...

But I think throwing away one's life through reckless usage, would be a pity...for there is just so much about life that we can enjoy!!...

Besides the crap we have to put up with, of course...nobody said that life was a bed of roses...*grin*