Friday, August 22, 2008

My colour...

I've always liked the blue colour...ever since I could remember...the different shades of blue of the sea, of a clear sky, dabbed with 'cotton wools' of various sizes...lilacs, robin's egg...etc...

If you ask me, I'd say that blue represents a calming effect....turquoise blue works best with me...although other shades would work just fine, be it light or dark...when I was a kid, I always use to wonder, how come artists and animations will choose a dark blue shade to cover the night skies...instead of what it really is...pitch black...I have stop wondering now...because I've now come to realize and feel the 'cool' night breeze in their work...which I don't think I could have felt, if they were to paint the skies black instead...

Raindrops tapping on the window-pane...Lightning zips past by intrusively, lighting up the whole gloomy sky...followed by a baritone call of the thunder...its scary...but you can feel its power...its telling me not to mess with him...EVER...

I sit here in quiet reflection...while the skies make way for the dark clouds, and thunderous rain gets on with doing what they do best...I've been working for such long hours...I feel the need to sit back, and mentally do some serious filing...I'm currently running on auto-mode for a while now...its time I jump-start my brain, give my memory a good shaking up...clear my mind of the clustered ideas...and shelf them to the "Keep In Views" or just toss it overboard...

I suddenly realized...that I no longer wonder about things as I used to, as a child...I tend to fret and worry more...it now takes more than an appearance of a rainbow to get me fascinated and curious...I am no longer in awe, knowing the fact that the gravity of the Earth is very much influenced by the Sun...here, I'm much more consumed by the mess I will need to go through, after every thunderous situations/downpours of my life...

Signs of aging, I guess...

I remember being afraid of dark gray skies, lightning and thunder...I used to think that those three Musketeers, are making a pact...out to get me...when I was a kid, my mum places me in the hands of my maternal grandma to be baby-sat...(not that it was much used anyway...my maternal grandma forgot about me a couple of times...and left the house to play mahjong)...afternoon would set in, followed by those three devils...scaring the daylights out of me...it doesn't help too...that I was not tall enough to switch on the lights to brighten the room...there is a portrait of a tiger in the living room, whose eyes seem to glint and glow, each and every time the lightning strikes...took me every ounce of strength I could muster, to suppress my fears...only to burst out in hurt of abandonment...and fear of being alone hours later...when my mum comes for me...

It is said that the colour blue..."satisfies the need for assurance in a complex world, while adding a hint of mystery and excitement"...

Yea, I guess that's what I'm looking for...a gentle hand, dealing with rough seas at work...that I will be able to handle whatever fate throws at me...

If I could, I'd ask God to make those lightnings less grandeur...and more people friendly...

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