Just when one thought it couldn't get worse...

I thought I'd write myself an update of how my preparation for my graduation recital went...this is more for me, actually...I want to remember it...every itty gritty detail of the frustration...and contentment (as rare as it may be)...I want to continually reassure myself, that I have come a long way...that I am so close now, to the performance, that I shouldn't be entertaining the thought of withdrawing...

So, I've got 7 songs to work on, consisting of 2 solos, 1 duet, and 4 band songs...

I started work on my 2 solo pieces, one is Since We Met, composed by Bill Evans...and another, Over the Rainbow, composed by Harold Arlen...I started on both, last semester in September '07...Since We Met, was challenging in terms of constant change of chords (2-3 chords per bar)...but it wasn't so popular due to lack of promotion...those who are avid fans of Bill Evans, may have heard of it...many moons ago...So since this Bill Evans piece wasn't all that famous and known, there were very few CDs, that featured that piece...which means, I had to start from scratch...all purely my arrangements, and nothing more to depend on, other than my major piano teacher...and on top of that...my itchy brain, had to reharmonize it, now making it all the more harder to remember...

So that was a jazz piece...as uncommon as that song have been, Over The Rainbow, on the other hand, has been over-comercialized...everybody knows it...from the senior citizens of the old folks home, to a three year kiddo...everyone has heard of it once...from a mother humming a lullaby, to listening to it over the radio...hence, I had the difficult task, of producing an arrangement, that will be able to stand on its own...without having people to go..."Oh, that dreaded song...AGAIN"...so this time, I'd thought I'd add a bit of salsa latino rhythm into it...

Both songs are now complete...I just have got the mountainous task of memorizing it...so we'll see how that goes...

The duet piece, was more challenging in a way...Canto Antiguo is its name...the piece was suggested and picked out by one of my good friends...no prizes for the person who guessed the name right...*grin*...

Canto Antiguo is a folk song...very simple melody, which my friend would be playing, using a tenor recorder...and I, will be playing the counter-melody with my piano...Upon the existence of melody, and counter-melody...then it is understandable, that the first idea of arrangement that came into my head...was to compose a some-what Baroque like piece...ala J.S.Bach...

Yea...big mouth...and a big brain...the size of a tiger prawn...by day 2 of my grueling task of being a Bach wanna-be...I was ready to quit...but I was in a dilemma...its as if, my left brain which holds all logic...is screaming at my right brain "What the hell were you thinking??!!!"...which my right brain which holds all emotion tells it to shut up, as it has its pride to consider...(reference here)

For a week, I studied Bach's Perlude and Fugues...he is a total G-E-N-I-U-S... B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T...really...nothing short of that...for the life of me, I will never be able to do what he did...Do you know that J.S Bach had to produce a cantata (a piece which is sung) for church every single week??...that makes about 52 cantatas in a year!!...and just so you know, in composing a cantata, he will have to write for sectionals such as the violins, organs, trumpets, etc...and let's not forget the whole choir, with four individual parts...that is an insane job to have!!...and yet, he manages to find time to write the Brandenburg Concertos, Fugues, Inventions...and the list never ends...

And to think, that there was one day, that Lessajinomoto thought she could give this fugue composition a chance...when chickens and ostriches fly...and the cow jumps over the moon...then she will be able to compose a little canon...

Ah, but it was just completed a couple of days back...it doesn't and is not committed to every rule that Bach practices...but the sound is close enough...the rest, I'm too tired to give a care...I just want to get on with it...

Writings about the band later...need my ZZzzzz....

In the midst of turmoil...

THIS

IS ME...

My head is somewhere...I just need to take some time off to find it...

Fingers crossed

Graduation recital is drawing near...The song Wildlife (of African influence, mixed with insane poly-rhythms) is just about ready...I am just lacking of choir members that is able to pronounce Swahili words...thus, I have called Wisdom (yes, its a guys name...how cool is that!!), a guy from the Chemical department of my college...he came a long way from Cameroon, Africa...to study here...I understand that he and his friends love choir singing very much...and hopefully, they will agree to sing this piece for me...it will contribute so much more, in producing an African atmosphere...and best of all, they can probably teach me a thing or two about their culture!!...I just worry that they may refuse due to time constrains...so, I am praying really hard here...and keeping my fingers crossed!...

Updates later!!...

p.s : The idea of getting an African native choir group, was Mr. Arif's idea, I'll have you know...hehe...I would have never thought of that myself!...

Handling rejections

I've been sitting in front of the computer for quite a while now...While 3 years back, I have been a total doofus when it comes to computer...I have now gotten a hang of simple stuffs such as blogging, Microsoft Word, MP3 Converting, etc...SIMPLE STUFFS...

But I have never had a deep love for computers, if you know what I mean...I would not mind using the computer, learning how to install and un-install some softwares...but when it comes to hardwares, I leave it to the experts, no matter how easy they can be...

But today, I had to explore the world of transferring a MIDI (Music) file into an external hardware (my piano keyboard)...and with much confidence, I took the External Hardware Manual, plopped down on my chair and started my quest...I mean, transferring files should be a piece of cake, since I've doing it with a 'guide', wouldn't it??

WRONG...

I swear...I read and re-read...and re-read every freaking instruction that the Manual had to give...I followed EVERY ORDER...from going to Control Panel-System....yadaa, yadaa, yadaa...to Music Download software installer...and yet, there is this irritating tiny balloon that pops out ever so often, telling me that "There was a problem during the hardware installation. Hardware may not be in working order."

Every time that balloon appears, my heart seems to wince in pain a bit..."Calm down", I told myself...I might just have overseen some instructions here and there...no problem...flip through manual again, from Page 1...

Rechecked the USB connection...check...Piano keyboard switch on...check...MIDI instructions on...CHECK...ok, that should be it...I'll try again...

"There was a problem during the hardware installation. Hardware may not be in working order."

I clicked REFRESH...hopefully whatever stupid thing that the computer could have missed...it will be detected...

"There was a problem during the hardware installation. Hardware may not be in working order."

I clicked the REFRESH button again like crazy...Not that it will do me any good...I know...but I honestly didn't know what to do then...and I was irritated...

Same results...

Screw it, I thought...we'll try out the software first...its probably not a big problem...I clicked into the software...Opened the file I wanted to transfer...and clicked SEND...

30 seconds passed...

A bigger balloon popped out : Transfer failed. Connection cannot be found. Please try another port.

I looked at my computer screen...there it shows that there were six different ports...Cool, no problem...I'm sure one of the stupid ports will be the right one...

I clicked Port 1 : Failed
Port 2 : Failed
Port 3 : Failed
Port 4 : Failed
Port 5 : Failed
Port 6 (last resort, and I must say, my heart was thumping hard, and I was unconsciously praying fervently...)

FAILED...

I am sure that I am wrong about this...but my eyes tell me that the 'failed' word, seems to get bigger and bolder every time it appears on my screen...

I'm usually not a quitter...but for now, I put up a white flag...I'm depressed...I've never handled so many rejections in such a short time before...track record...more than 20 'fails' in less than 30 seconds...

On Shopping...

I know that I've never managed to keep my loathe and dislike for shopping in my previous post...but I now have something to confess...I lied...well..sort of...

I love shopping...but for books only...in fact, I'd rather go through shelves of books...then rummage my fingers through a clothing rack...

But do allow me to enlist why...

1. Annoying sales people...

"Miss...this looks SO a-ma-zing on you!!!...and you have great legs...and the skirt would just fit you perfectly...and you know what would make it better??...a set of high heels" (Note : I took the liberty of translating it from Cantonese to English and correcting some grammar for easy reading)

Breaking into annoying mono-syllables, emphasizing every word to death...she acted as if a red shirt with white polka dots was the most amazing article of clothing ever mass produced...as if the idea of this pathetic fashion designer was a work of a genius...but I chose to disregard the fact that she was merely complimenting me in a sheer attempt to make money...muttered a "thank you but no thanks"...changed into my own shabby clothes...and walked out of the store...no shirt, skirt nor high heels...

Besides, I didn't appreciate that she was tagging along with me EVERYWHERE I WENT...Yes, thank you very much for the undivided yet unwanted attention...but I still value my privacy...I don't think that self-serving comments on every itsy bitsy act that I do was helpful at all...in fact, I feel that there is an annoying fly around me, that refuses to leave me alone...I've got nothing against sales people...but please, with all due respect, leave me alone...sometimes, I feel insulted that you are hanging on my tail all the time...as if I am a suspect for shoplifting or something...just hang around the store...and I will call you when I need you...I don't need someone sticking to me like a leech all the time, especially in clothes and shoe shopping...all these shopping is a painful process...and is best suffered in private...

2. Crowd...

Here, I've got to admit, I am referring to ladies as a whole rather than guys...I love guys when it comes to shopping...in my observation, when guys walk up to a pile of neatly folded clothes...they would usually pause for a while, in contemplation...considering the products that are placed before them...they usually take the 'look but do not touch yet' approach...and will only mess with the pile if and ONLY IF, they think that the clothing is worth their hard earned money...and most fantastic thing about guys is that most of them will attempt to smoothen the pile once they are done, so that it looks untouched...

But go take a look at the ladies section...there goes a picture of land of mass destruction...women turns from their petite-and-ever-so-fragile act...to horrible beasts from hell...they, will take a perfect pile of folded shirts...go through the ENTIRE sack of clothings, RIP one out from beneath twenty shirts (and leaving the rest of them in a sorry state of disorder)...and hold it against her body...decides the shirt is not her taste after all...throw the shirt back in with the mess...and repeats the circle for at least twenty times before leaving the store with one/two clothings...

Makes me wonder at times...so the shirt on the top pile, may not necessarily be her size...but the shirt on top IS identical in pattern to all the other shirts beneath it...Why mess up the whole stack unless you REALLY want that shirt on the bottom??...

3. The frustration...

Oh the joys of shopping...where do I start...I think I've mentioned it before...shopping for shoes, is ALMOST impossible...unless I want a KIKI-LALA imprinted on the soles of my shoe...shopping for clothes are the worst...there was a time, when I was much thinner...and so was my bust...and shirts just didn't highlight my cleavage or whatsoever...so nothing suited me...not to mention that I am completely colour blind when it comes to clothes matching...and also, I was never up to date with the latest fashion...

Now, that I've been more 'prosperous' sideways and on my bust...most of the clothes that I try on just makes me look plump...well, not the black ones...but I've got enough black shirts in my wardrobe, thank you very much...

You know...its painful to be rejected all the time...but I've received so many rejections, I thought I should be used to it by now...

Appreciating the Space

Today...for the first few times, rare ones, as it is...I have done something that was totally rewarding...

For today...I did...nothing...yup...accomplished nothing...

Well...not TOTALLY nothing...now, that I come to think of it...I did practice my graduation piece 'Wildlife'...with my boyfriend...and we had a tough nut to crack...especially on the rhythm...but other than that, I spent the whole day walking...window shopping, both in Leisure Mall...and MidValley...ah, I did do a couple of hours of beautiful reading...

Yes, I do allow myself to indulge in this 'personal time' once in a while...after all...I am working 4 days a week now...classes 4 days a week too...and the rest, I spent practicing my piano (both jazz and classical...I'm preparing for my LTCL piano Dip. at the moment)...and my violin as well...my timetable is usually so packed...that my school mates, those who are patient enough, that is...would have to booked me a week in advance...some have already given up...even one of my dear friends has commented that "It is easier to book an appointment with the Prime Minister than it is to book one with Emily..."...Yes...that is a sad case, I've got to admit...I enjoy every working minute...yet, I hunger for a good empty slot...like...TODAY!!!!....

Classes canceled...and I decided to work myself...in a leisure walk...and for those who knows me...Emily Goh rarely shops...for shoes and clothings, that is...books, she does not flinch at all...but shoes and clothings...you have got to shop with her, to know what pain in the neck she is...totally zero fashion sense...capable of wearing a pyjamas to college...(I only tried that ONCE...okay...no biggie)...yet, one have got to understand as well...how frustrating it could be for her to shop for shoes...can you imagine, stepping into every shoe shop...only to know that there is no shoe that is smaller than a size 4??...and yes, so she wears a size 3...but that is no excuse to publicly humiliate her by sending her to the KIDS department, is there??...come on...give it a break and save her some dignity, you know...so she was 'blessed' with one of the tinniest of feet and hand...big deal....

But yes, thank God...today...for once, she found a pair of shoes that she could wear...it was slightly big, no doubt about that...but she has just about given up, asking for a size 3...its comfortable enough, thats what is important...just make sure that she is not climbing a hill on that...or she will be standing on feet of a pregnant lady, that's for sure...swells all over...

Ah...the insanity creeps back tomorrow...my hands will be full with the handling of rascals, that parents unleash upon me...to a certain extend, I'm okay with that...I rather take this, as a form of escapism...then to have to handle emotional frustrations and stress that overwhelms me at times...when I'm emotionally frustrated with the happenings in college...work and violin/piano practice becomes my sanctuary...and things does not seem so bad...at least, work and practices tires my brain, as to keep my heart from messing with it...so I need not think of what troubles me most...until it is time to do so...

Weirded out...

My piano teacher in a Can-Can dress (Moulin Rouge style)...with layers after layers of petticoats...
Me, losing my gold teeth...
The Boyfriend scolding me for losing my gold teeth...
Human-Sea-Turtles display...
Me giving away my hole T-shirts that was punctured by crockroaches...
my dad riding on a carousel amusement ride...

I'm tired...my dreams are getting weirder and weirder by the moment...none of the above makes sense...

My piano teacher, as fit as she is...I can't picture her in a Can-Can...just t-shirt and a pair of jeans...

I, have barely aged...so I have no false teeth...and even if I were to have one, in 60 years to come, it wouldn't be plated in gold...probably be made of wood...

The Boyfriend rarely raises his voice, let alone scold...

And as we all know so well...there are Human species and Turtle species...but there is no such thing as sub species of Human-cum-Turtles...

I do not own t-shirts filled with crockroach-punctured-holes...and I would never go so low, as to donate them...that is shameless!!!...

And if anyone knew my dad, it would be when the pig grown horns and chickens fly, before we ever catch him riding on a carousel!!!...

*sigh*...I need a rest...on top of the sleep I've just had...

Pet Peeves

People who...

...thinks its a glorifying sight to see the contents of one's food being bitten and broken down to bits...Not me!!!...Close 'yer mouth!!...

...go to great lengths to get your attention...and upon receiving it..they say "Nevermind"...

...act as if they are God's gift to human kind...come on, get a life!!...

...get of the escalators EXTREMELY slow...except for the elderly, of course...Hello!!!...if you didn't realize...there are people right behind you...if you don't get off quick, we might run into you...

...smoke right in front of you...Listen...I don't smoke...but I don't mind you smoking yourself to the brink of death...I un-willingly expose myself, as a second-hand smoker, knowing the risk of it...and I am not complaining...I am willing to be patient...but damn you if you smoke right in my face, I will personally give you a piece of my mind...literally...you know the health risk when smoking, and you made a personally choice to face it...but not me...I didn't sign up for this...and you're NOT taking me down with you...

...complains on and on...about how atrociously out of tune it sounds, when a grade 5 violin student is practising...guys, we sympathize with you...hearing a 'chicken squeal'...but if you can, please bear with us...you think listening to one practice on the violin is painful??...try being the student practicing on the violin instead...heesh...at least you guys can opt to walk out of the room anytime you want...

...stand in front of the elavators, hence blocking the way out...it is so hard for people to realize that in order to get IN those elavators, one has to first make way for people to get OUT??...

...queue in really long lines...then upon reaching the counter...take another 5 minutes to think about what to order...They had all the time in the world to make a choice, while waiting for their turn...but they had to wait till that SIGNIFICANT moment...to hold the line...and take up our time...

...speeds up...just to over-take you...secure their space in front of you...and speed up no more...if anything...they slow down...

...allows their young kids to cry...and cry...and cry...through out the whole 3 hour journey on a bus to Ipoh...

...let their young kids out of their cages...and grab a french fry from a stranger...and the parents actually thinks its cute...

...don't turn on the signal lights, when cutting you off...or when doing a turn...if the signal button is spoiled...roll down the window and make hand signs...I'm too young to die...so back off!!!...

...talk aloud in movie theaters...sister, if I wanted to know the story about your life, I'd ask...but at the moment...any movie on screen would be more interesting compared to your current life...so, if you please...SHUT UP!!!...

...just don't understand instructions..."10 items or less" counter...it means...a counter that would provide its services for people that has 10 items to buy...or maybe 9 items...in order te ordeal of waiting would be less painful...get it??...well, if you had 13 items...and you choose to ignore the sign...I can forgive you...but TWO TROLLEYS of items??!!!...25 items altogether, and the offender thinks its funny...well, I don't...it defeats the purpose of having a "10 items or less" counter, doesn't it??...

...and many more, which I'm unable to cover at the moment...those will have to be saved for later...gotta practice on my violin first...

WGL 1669 (Finale)

So, I went to make a police report again, with a faint hope that I could claim insurance, though I am completely clueless as to how the process goes...

Goes to show, that there is no complete justice in this world...the nice Chinese fella at the police station (one of the tow-drivers, I suppose)...advised me to not pursue the case...as it was my word, against the Malay lorry driver...the truth doesn't play a role here...As there are no witnesses, and my car, was rammed at the right side, and not directly at the back...the truth could be twisted till its unrecognizable...and the blame could be put entirely on me...and the police could be slap me with a summon instead...and no sympathy at all...

Hence, here is a lesson for us all...the 'back-car-knocking- the-front-car-is-always-at-fault' theory once given by my father, does not hold true in court anymore...only in your heart and conscience...unless, its a bumper to bumper crash...so, once again...its not the matter of weather who is right or wrong...but who is better with words, and in arguing...AND more sleazy...I lose at this point...I'm good at rationalizing, and debating my point...only if and only when I am not emotionally involved in that situation...other than that...I'm hopeless...

p/s: btw, to anyone who have had bad experiences as I have just gone through...or even those who had not...just for safety and knowledge sake, check this site out...as it has provided me a lot of information as to how the process goes, in claiming car insurances, etc...

WGL 1669 (Part 2) - The LOSER

Why I think you are such a loser : (For whole story, please refer to the previous post)

1. You were not even gentleman enough to attempt to see if I was okay...and I was the one with the damages...

2. You were way behind me, that I can confirm...yet, you managed to crash into me at high speed...if I was in a Proton Saga, I would have been crushed to pulps by now...

3. I was on a stationery position...still, you are able to crash into me...

4. You were not even responsible enough to say sorry...and worst, you challenged me...and I'm not taken into threats so easily...in fact, they piss me off a lot...

5. All you can say is, "I ade brek!"...no better excuses??...

WGL1669

*ring* *ring*...*ring* *ring*...

"Hey, girl...you called me?"

"Yes, are you free now?"

"Not really...why?"

"Are you in a good mood?"

"Not really...what is it?"

"Its ok then...I will call you to tell you some other time."

"What is it?...you called me, but now you don't want to tell me about it..."

"OK then...I just thought you should know...your daugther got into an accident, but she is ok now..."

*silence*

"Is the car okay?"...

So, yesterday, I was involved in an accident (Tuesday, 27th Nov 2007)...though my car wasn't a total loss...and the fault wasn't mine...its the inconvenience of it that frustrates the hell out of me...having to drive all the way to Ampang to see the traffic police and make a report, send my car for extensive fixtures, claim insurance...yup, and all that jazz...

I was on my way to Corus Hotel, to attend a Trinity College Music Examination, as a piano accompanist for a student of mine...I passed the round-about and took a 3 o'clock turn, to join the crowd of traffic, all slow-moving...though not at stand still...I was easing my way to the right side of the lane, from the middle lane...and yes, I did my safety checks...signal lights were on...looked in the rear-view mirror...checked...looked at the right side-mirror (which was the most important, as I had to check if there is any cars on my right, before joining them)...yup, I saw a lorry...looks small from the side-mirror...but, yup, I could see the whole bloody lorry...which means, he is some distance away...and I could make my move...and I did...little by little, though...as the car in front of me, has not cleared yet...

I heard a loud and LONG honk...should be the lorry-driver, I presume...maybe he is irritated, that I've cut his queue...understandable enough...I do that sometimes...I get annoyed easily, especially when I'm stuck in a non-air-conditioned car...in the midst of a traffic jams...and someone conveniently cuts into my queue...no big deal...it will blow over soon...

I saw the lorry coming...I would expect him to stop...(since he honked, it actually meant that he was aware of my presence, wouldn't it)...but NOOOooooo...he whacked straight into my right passenger door...and because of the speed he was in, when he whacked my car...it didn't stop there...it plough through, till it reached me...the driver's door...

From the left passenger's window, the passenger in the lorry, asked me to move my car...

"You rammed into my driver's door, making a small valley whole, with your headlights french-kissing it...I can't even move, you DOOFUS!!!...YOU reverse YOUR lorry!!!"...I thought...and signaled him to do so...and he did...

I got down from the car...with much attempt, as I could barely get my door to open...it was completely jammed...

Took a good look at the driver...

"I ade brek!!!" (Direct translation : I got brake!!!)

I kept my composure...and talked to him, wrecking my brains to find the words in Malay...which I shall, for the ease of readers, translate it to English...

"The problem is not weather you braked or not...but its that you did not brake in time...meaning...you were not paying attention..."

"Kenape you keluar?...Tak nampak I pandu laju ke?" (Direct translation : Why did you move out?...Didn't see me speeding, is it?)

"Driving fast or not...I did after all signal..."

"Ya, I nampak you signal...I ade brek!!...I ada brek"...(Direct translation : Yes, I saw you signal...I got brake!...I got brake!!)...personally...I think "I ada brek" was the only the that existed in his mind, since he emphasize it ever so often...

Looks like we are back to square one...apparently, he was not listening to me no more...

"Can I see your licence please"

"Tengok buat apa?" (Direct translation : See for what?)

"So that I can make a police report."

"Buat polis report, buat la...you ingat I takut you ke?...I ada lisen...semua ada...pergi buat polis report, I bagi tengok"...(Direct translation : you want to make a police report, make la...you think I'm scared of you?...I have licence...everything I have...go make a police report...only then I let you see)

Frankly speaking, I would have gone to make a police report immediately...but as I was rushing for the exam, I didn't want to create an uproar within myself...so I left...two guys against a girl...I was just not a match for them...

I had a thorough check of the damges made on my car, after the exam...so, right passenger door, half smashed to the pulp...the door handle is gone...(and just so you know, my car is made of metal, old Toyota Corona 1.6 (1982)...so imagine the speed he was in when he crashed into my car)...door cannot be opened nor closed...because the curvature was so great, it actually had the top of the door, where the windows are...sticking out...naturally letting in fresh air...

Driver's door is screwed too...though not as bad...still...the lock is jammed...you cannot open it at all...with all the muscle building that I've done to tone my arms...I still failed...have to get in through the left front passenger seat to be able to drive...back wheel's allignment is gone...I can feel it totally out, when I take hold of the steering...

To the idiotic-ninkampoop driver of WGL 1669,

I have thought and thought again...reflected on the incident...look up online about situations like this...read and re-read, checked the words on the online dictionary...and it still says you are in the wrong...and I quote from a site...

"the insurance adjuster would need a witness beyond the other driver to prove you came into the motor home's lane so fast that the motor home was unable to stop."

And here...'motor home' means, you, my dear bro...so...I was in a stationary position, and I definitely DID NOT go to your lane "so fast" that you were unable to stop (I couldn't go fast, even if I wanted to...it was a TRAFFIC JAM!!!)...AND...dude, you were way behind me...not in my blind spot...the problem??...you were speeding...and therefore, you couldn't stop in time...simple as that...when there are tonnes of car, oozling in and out...you choose to speed...which I don't understand...if it was a highway...I could close an eye...but in TOWN???....

Yet, I'm aware...this accident was not a dead-on, rear-end-hit...where it would then make yours and my life so much easier...therefore, difficult to prove your liability for my loss...and that, I understand...I'm not angry nor hurt...as much as it does hurt my pocket...it could be surprising, but I feel sorry for you...sorry for the ones sitting in the car you drive...hopefully, it would not be traumatic, as it has been for me...and I'm not even sitting in your car...

You know...I may be months poorer...and maybe as poor as a church mouse for a couple of months, while I get my car fixed...but that it is not the main thing...so, yes...it is a big pinch for me...and yes, I do feel it...but at least I can sleep peacefully at night...I've no doubt you will too...seeing that you have totally no sense of responsibility...hopefully, next time, the person who suffers the crash would not be you...HOPEFULLY....*fingers crossed*

Owner of Toyata Corona 1.6
WAS 2754

Back to the conversation with my dad...

"So now that the door is spoiled...what if the thieves steal the car?"

Well, dad...if they are able to OPEN my driver's door in the first place...then we can consider the fact that they MAY steal this precious right-side-crushed car...

My Torture Chamber

For those who knows me well, I have certain hesitations and some strong views about many things. One of which is, I never liked the idea of facial, "face specialist"...so they call themselves...that threaten to poke my face black and blue...so I've always managed to keep a 10 feet distance away from them...and had no worries about the teasing and taunting I received about how "unlady-like" I was becoming...I wasn't much of a beauty obsessed person anyway...and another, is to keep my hair chemical free as much as possible....and I broke those two rules in less than 3 days....

It happened like this...it is the end of the semester and holidays just started...not that it has been a really a stressful semester...but insane semesters before, has really wreaked havoc with my complexion...not to forget hormonal imbalance and excessive food consumption, of course...usually, when my face feels like suffering some rough edges of a bumpy road, I would normally let nature take its course...but since I've got a little time to spare, I decided to give myself a little treat and give nature an extra push...

My mum, who swears by facials...never fails to attend one monthly...was ever so excited to hear about my intentions...

"My dear!!!...You're turning into a GIRL!!!"...

I went beserk...."()*_!&@#*($&#@%^*&@???!!!!!!"...

Who was I, then...for these 23 years and 13 months of existance??!!...An evolving Martian???!!....Straight away, she went to the telephone book and made the appointment for me, with HER beautician...I guess, she wasn't at all convinced that I was serious about the whole facial thingy...and decided to take action into her own hands before I could utter any word of protest...frankly speaking, by that time, my confidence was starting to wane...

I walked into the shop, slightly nervous and feeling alone...for RM10, I would have walked out of there...no questions asked...I sat down on the receptionist table, and filled in a form...turns out, that I've got to do a questionnaire, so that they could "better understand my face problem"...check out their atrocious Malaysian grammar...I observed a calender staring, just in front of me..."Relax, Revitalize and Detoxify"....*sigh*...I'm DEFINITELY in a facial shop...

The beautician studied my face...prodding here and there...

"Your skin not enough water-la"...

Sister, I think the term you're looking for is "DEHYDRATION"...man, she just made my skin sound like a water tank or something...and who isn't dehydrated anyway??...So, I don't drink enough water, big deal...can we move on???...

"Aiyo, very oily-la, your face"

Can someone get me a beautician who speaks English with PROPER GRAMMER???!!!

"Your nose very dry"....

I think she means that the skin on the tip of my nose is flaking...but didn't she just say that my skin looked dehydrated??...Honestly, I think she is starting to run out of things to criticize me about...

"You must do facial every two weeks...when last time you do facial?"

Now, let me see...I tone and moisturize weekly, but thats about it...but up till now, I only had ONE facial in my entire 22 years and 36 months...the one that my mum coaxed me to do eons and light-years ago...in an attempt to qualify for a free massage and aromatherapy session...and even that, I walked out after the "first step"...facial cleaning...and I never looked back...I just don't see the logic in paying someone to do something that I do every day and night!!! And that was erm....6 years ago??...if you count that as a facial...which obviously the beautician didn't...

She looked at me, as if I've committed the worst crime of the century...and immediately, I feel a clench of alarm...not saying a single word, she folded up her sleeves and started to work on me...after all, she has...what...about...24 years of dead skin to exfoliate...and she couldn't afford to waste time on small chats...

The cleansing part was a breeze...I didn't want to admit it, but her expert fingers running across my face...somewhat felt ticklish and nice...ah, its nice to be pampered sometimes...then came the extraction of blackheads...I whimpered and hollered through the whole session without a thought of keeping my mouth shut to save myself from embarrassment...

"Everybody also do it wan-la...its just for a while..."

First of all, her lack of concern for grammar was starting to get on my nerves...and secondly...I would actually see 30 seconds as "a while"...but 20 MINUTES???!!!!...with a zillion blackheads on my face???...and even that, I would regret to say...is an understatement...I hated myself for compromising...this was why I never signed up for facial...EVER...Those metal steel blackhead popper with a thin loop on one end...designed to make your life a pro-long misery...poking and pricking into your vulnerable face...those horrible unsightly blocked pores...whatever happened to using BIORE blackhead removal strips??...you know, those amazing little plaster-look-alikes??

Next session was moisturizing and massage...that completely took me to a reverse mode...as the poor beautician ( I guess its her first time facing an ignorant-eggheaded gal who hates facial ) struggled to massage a white sticky lotion on my face...around the cheeks...to the chin...neck...and the collar bones to the shoulders...I was struggling to stay still and not kick about...for this time, I was aware of the humiliation that stands before me...and desperately, I made an attempt not to wriggle...It all started with a giggle...then a compressed-sounding snort ...then the hulabalu awakes!!!...and I was roaring with laughter uncontrollably...to the point that I had to beg her to forgo the massage and just apply the goo...by now, I should make a note, that the beautician was clearly exasperated at my non-experience of this entire thing...

"You're very scare of tickle la"...

For once, I couldn't find the energy within myself to correct her grammar spams...I lie down quietly for the rest of the time, as she finished and send me off..without another chuckle...totally unlike the person I was, when I first started this session...I had a glimpse at the mirror...thanks to patches of red on my face...with all her pinching and squeezing, I wasn't that pretty a sight to look at...but never mind...I came out of that facial shop alive...and I survived...well, three quarter it, at least...and it will be a very, very, VERY long time before I step into that shop again...yes, my reputation has been stained...

And so has my mum's...and I don't know how my friends can claim that squeezing blackheads are addictive...

HELLO WORLD!!

In this section, people would usually grab the opportunity to introduce and describe themselves in such a manner…that will mislead you into believing that they are the most interesting, accomplished creature on earth and that you are most lucky to have even met them…hence, nurturing the incentive for you to read their every word, and eagerly awaiting new entries…

*sigh* I’m really tempted to do so…but if I did, I’ll be lying to you, and worst of all…to me…I guess that even if I were to do so, you guys will most probably guess anyway, and I’ll be exposed for the computer kultz cum idiot that I really am…

So I guess I should come out clean, shouldn't I?…Here goes;

1. I am NOT interesting at all...if you don't believe me, ask my brothers...

2. My daily life is boring...it consists of mainly working, practicing my piano, violin, reading, surfing the internet, and sleeping...in fact, even as I write this, I'm itching for an adventure...a vacation...anything besides burying myself in assignments...

3. Actually, my life is less than interesting…in fact, I believe that if I were to write an autobiography about it…it will one of the kind that the publisher will give a glance at the first few sentences with a painful cringe…and roll his eyes with the “You gotta be kidding me” look…and toss it into a discarded box, where all Chemistry textbooks lie...bookstores may even burn that book, just to keep warm during the winter...who knows??...

So one may ask, why do I even bother blogging?…well, just to get a couple of myths out of the way...

I DO NOT blog because I find my life so evidently entertaining that I am doing the world a favour by documenting my life in great detail...I also DO NOT blog because I think I am the most gifted writer to ever grace the virtual world with her presence...in fact, on the contrary...

I blog because I am at the age where I face plenty of crossroads...hitting my 20's...things are completely different now from when I was a teenager then...more heart-breaking principals to stand strong to...more tough reality decisions to make...and most of all, no more erasers...

Simply put, I blog because there are times I feel lonely...my heart can only hold so much…the rest, I prefer to put it in writing…besides trying to practice my freedom of speech…and her rights to be sarcastic…I need a place where I can relinquish my thoughts in peace…a place where she can share her rhapsodies, and rants about life…and hopefully find friends who have been through the exact same thoughts...

You have been fore-warned...

Hello World!!

In this section, people would usually grab the opportunity to introduce and describe themselves in such a manner…that will mislead you into believing that they are the most interesting, accomplished creature on earth and that you are most lucky to have even met them…hence, nurturing the incentive for you to read their every word, and eagerly awaiting new entries…

*sigh* I’m really tempted to do so…but if I did, I’ll be lying to you, and worst of all…to me…I guess that even if I were to do so, you guys will most probably guess anyway, and I’ll be exposed for the computer kultz cum idiot that I really am…

So I guess I should come out clean, shouldn't I?…Here goes;

1. I am NOT interesting at all...if you don't believe me, ask my brothers...

2. My daily life is boring...it consists of mainly working, practicing my piano, violin, reading, surfing the internet, and sleeping...in fact, even as I write this, I'm itching for an adventure...a vacation...anything besides burying myself in assignments...

3. Actually, my life is less than interesting…in fact, I believe that if I were to write an autobiography about it…it will one of the kind that the publisher will give a glance at the first few sentences with a painful cringe…and roll his eyes with the “You gotta be kidding me” look…and toss it into a discarded box, where all Chemistry textbooks lie...bookstores may even burn that book, just to keep warm during the winter...who knows??...

So one may ask, why do I even bother blogging?…well, just to get a couple of myths out of the way...

I DO NOT blog because I find my life so evidently entertaining that I am doing the world a favour by documenting my life in great detail...I also DO NOT blog because I think I am the most gifted writer to ever grace the virtual world with her presence...in fact, on the contrary...

I blog because I am at the age where I face plenty of crossroads...hitting my 20's...things are completely different now from when I was a teenager then...more heart-breaking principals to stand strong to...more tough reality decisions to make...and most of all, no more erasers...

Simply put, I blog because there are times I feel lonely...my heart can only hold so much…the rest, I prefer to put it in writing…besides trying to practice my freedom of speech…and her rights to be sarcastic…I need a place where I can relinquish my thoughts in peace…a place where she can share her rhapsodies, and rants about life…and hopefully find friends who have been through the exact same thoughts...

You have been fore-warned...

The Man of My Nightmares

The man of my nightmares....really...I keep having nightmares about this guy when I was a kiddo...The main character of the IT horror show that I saw on the Idiot Box (telly)...It wasn't that scary when I first read the novel...its when I saw the show, that I've changed my mind since then...it is more than 10 years already...but still...he is the reason why :

1. I've quit reading Stephen King's works...even though there are plenty King's writings that are amazing...

2. At the tender age of 10, I fear going to the washroom alone...

3. I don't watch horror movies anymore...

4. I stare down the hole in the kitchen sink...to make sure he is not going to spring a surprise on me....I stil do sometimes...even the young adult that I've now become...call it paranoia...see if I actually care...

5. I don't do too well with clowns...

6. I can't look at Ronald McDonald straight in face without twitching...don't even try convincing me to take a photo sitting beside Mr. McDonald...I will so freak out...

7. I can never bear listening to Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker" Suite, Op. 71a, as beautiful as the piece is...gives me the shivers every time....for it is this Nutcracker piece that welcomes the every appearance of this clown character in the movie...

p/s : try watching this IT show...you will know what I mean...*shudders*...but I gotta give him the credit..he is such a good actor..to be able to give me creeps...even after a decade long...