For the Love of A Bikini/Swimsuit....and Being overweight...

Holidays are approaching (Thank God!!)...my work load doesn't seem so dull and heavy anymore...in less than 2 weeks, I will be on my way to Phuket Island along with a couple of my friends...all sunshine rays, salty water waves, gentle breeze...and a cup of Pina Colada!!...*grin*...

I've been thinking if I should get myself a new swimsuit, as mine is quite worn-out....dust-mites got to it earlier than I did...and like most women of the 21st century, I am slightly cautious (not to the point of paranoia...YET), about how I look...especially in tight fitting clothes...(the UN-fashionable person that I am)...so yes, I am more than aware of my little love handles, thunder thighs and spots of cellulite coming along the way...

I myself have been victim of cruel and insensitive statements of how much weight I've gained and all that jazz...for starters, I have accepted the fact that I am no longer a teenager, hence...my metabolic rate has slowed down very much...unfortunately, my appetite needs retuning, and some readjusting...that has not worked out to my favour...and I have yet to convince myself it is worth the trouble...hence, my additional weight...and oh yes, I don't exercise all that regularly anymore...

Having said that, its only 4 kgs from my teenage weight till now...as far as I am concern, no big deal...but to the eyes of public, I have ballooned to a size of a whale...

All these talk about "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"...are loads of bull, I think...well, unless one is emotionally castrated, I don't see how that can happen...As I am neither skin and bones, nor fat...I am just being teased for being 'fleshy'...that is enough for me to stop at my feet...and feel SLIGHTLY pinched...yea, call me sensitive...

I can only imagine how overweight people must feel...with all the pressure around them to be thin, I am sure they are exposed to 24 hours taunting and riducule...I say 24 hours, cz when they out for a stroll, or window shopping...they see all these sexy manequins dressed in tight fitting clothes, drawing attention to their thin bony legs and 18-inch waist...only to be reminded why they should never dream of owning such clothes...

And don't anyone dare tell me, that it is up to these overweight people to be mentally strong, and be confident...while committing themselves to exercising and diet programs...if there are any with such high self esteem, they are a rare breed...if not, beauty saloons would have been out of business and closed down...

So, it really bugged me today...when I came across a post from a blog (I can't remember it now)...that had a picture of a big sized lady, in a bikini suit...and the post-er commenting on it...somewhere along the line of...and I quote..."please-i just ate----BARFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, in my own opinion (I tell myself this all the time...but my heart needs more convincing)...that as long as one feels comfortable in what he/she is wearing...that is most important...if I don't agree with one's sense of dressing (lacking cloth, etc), unless one is my friend, I will most probably keep numb, and shut it...

Now, I really don't care what people thinks about overweight people wearing bikinis...but some comments that I've read online concerning this issue was really inconsiderate...take this few for example...

• "I guess they have no concept (or no mirror!) of how they appear to others."
• "However, most fat women will live out most of their sexual lives never getting laid, only giving head to guys drunk enough not to notice."
• "She's unattractive and unattractive people get judged"
• "These people (overweight people) needs to be ridiculed if society deems them unfitting"
• "Fat people deserved to be ridiculed, though"
• "Fat people do need to be ridiculed for their own sake."
• "I believe they're (overweight people) trying to test our "gag" factor."

THESE-PEOPLE-DISGUST-ME...

Come on...do you not think that these people are already self-conscious one way or another?...Everyone struggles with one common issue...the need to accept and love one-self...do you think any of these comments help their self esteem at all?...I can't imagine the confidence they have to speak to themselves, when they look into a mirror...If they read through those comments, it could really break their spirits...While I would definitely suggest a healthier life-style, calling them a beached whale is just...plain rude...Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and as long as they are covered up enough, I'd say; let them do what they want...Ah, well...what can I say...if these people (bad mouths with an attitude) finds in necessary to make rude statements about other people, just so that it makes them feel better about themselves...so be it...I just needed to get vent it out here because I know the hurt...I've tasted it before...and it bites...hard...

On a comforting thought, though...Overweight issues can be handled, though it may not be easy...A nincompoop with a bird brain and bad attitude...that takes a miracle...

Doing the Limbo...

Neil Armstrong phrase following his historical lunar landing "A Small Step for Man...larger step for Mankind"....

Well, after all the big mess, debates, sneering and polls about the decision of scrapping the idea of teaching Science and Maths in English...our Deputy Prime Minister (DPM) have certainly taken us 30 years backwards this afternoon...

So yes, those schools in urban areas can breathe easily...Chinese and Tamil medium schools can walk the corridors smiling and stressed free...now that DPM has reversed our policies after almost 6 years of implementing and emphasizing Science and Maths in English...

This is a nightmare...one that does not go away when the alarm clock is cranked up...one that will further compromise the future of our generation...

In a perfect world, students would be learning all subjects in the best language for them individually, and also learning Malay and English perfectly fine regardless...But there is no such thing as a perfect world...so we can only imagine what is best in the interest of our students, we would have a CONSISTENT policy and competent teachers able to implement this policy...

This being my country Malaysia, and our politics being nincompoop clown performers, what we got was a silly compromise that made nobody very happy, and a paralyzed bureaucracy uninterested in making this policy work...One of the most telling an article (which I have yet to link...can't find it at the moment), which shows only 20% and 10% of secondary and primary school science and maths teachers respectively scored 67 or higher on an evaluation of their English proficiency...

So, it goes to show that their 6 year policy (year 2003-2009) of Science and Maths in English failed...on the other hands, 6 years is barely enough to move mountains...but our DPM decided to steer the wheel the other direction and try a different approach to enhance English learning: English literature will be reintroduced as a subject, along with grammar and composition...(I wonder if that is a misquote by The Star, because that would make a total of four subjects for the English language alone.)...The Minister also said that they would rehire retirees and foreigners if necessary to supply more English teachers...

Maybe teaching science and maths in English is a fatally flawed idea, but we have no way of telling that from this six-year experiment, because the government so thoroughly messed up its implementation!!...(There is also the counter-argument that teaching these subjects in English worked perfectly fine for thousands of schoolkids before we switched to Malay as the national medium of instruction in the 1970s...)...Yes, we have been transiting from Malay to English language for a couple of times now...and still no progress...

So we had a whole generation of students undergoing this massive change, all for nothing...And now we will have another generation of pain as thousands of kids get stuck in educational limbo while the government phases out this failure of a policy...

All this was completely unnecessary...The government could have at least tried to make ETeMS ( English for Teaching Mathematics and Science) policy a success by not virtually sabotaging it, but they did not...they could have increased the allocation of time to English, refocus the curriculum, and hired professional English teachers six years ago, but they did not...

More importantly, the transition to teaching science and maths in English 6 years ago, would have been successful if only they had been patient and first prepared the teachers to use English in the classroom...But they did not...

In short, we spent six years spinning our wheels doing absolutely balls, and we have nothing to show for it...I feel infuriated...I was a victim of this non-policy (I completed my studies in Malay...didn't do all that well, due to rebellion of having to translate all my subjects to English for my understanding)...but to see our future generation going through this limbo game as well...infuriates me all the more...

Brainless Morons...

So yes, I am going to rant a little today...a lot, in fact...if only I could get my brain to work normally...I think I have a right to feel pissed...and I have a feeling that I am going to stay that way for a long time more...

Some moron parked his car so close to mine, that I could not open my driver's car door...that a**hole...can't even stay within the blardy parking box...you had to tread in mine...and to make things worse, my driver's door has a chip mark as big as a 10 cent coin...no prize for guessing what happened...it must be that moron's friend who was PMS-ing on the passenger seat...choosing to open his door so freakin' wide and rough, the door brushed against mine and got stuck...in its impatience, he pulled his door back, resulting to chipping some paint off my door...

FYI, I just painted my beloved car, a year ago...deep, maroon red...really nice...and expensive too...

If it was just a black scrape, I would not mind so much....nor be bothered about it...my car is a maroon red, so you would not be able to see the mark, unless you were to sit in front of it and stare...But in this case, the paint was chipped off...And now, at the driver's side, you can see a glaring white spot where the mark lays...all spoiled beside its glory...no apologies written whatsoever...just me, my car with THAT mark, and my seething anger...

(this is the part where you may want to cover your ears with cotton balls)...

Don't say I didn't warn you...

"WTF!!!!!"..........

Dearest Moron who chipped my car...

You have the right to remain brainless...but man, if I ever do see you around, I will kick your arse...LITERALLY...mark my words...I am warning you...

Hear me roar...

Lessajinomoto

p/s : I need some anger management therapy...any suggestions???...if not, my boyfriend is going to get really bruised today...*sigh*...

A confession...finally...

Just a short post before heading to the gym...

This post came to my attention yesterday night...and I nearly fell out of my chair reading it...

'TEACHERS GOING MAD TEACHING SUBJECTS IN ENGLISH, SAYS REP'
- theStar newspaper

Excuse me, but at this moment, while our teachers are 'going mad', I am sure the parents of the future generation are already mad, so are our students...and I stand next in line...

Before I continue, do let me state clearly, that I am aware that I do have errors aplenty when it comes to usage of English grammar and wat-nots...To be completely honest, I never learned grammar back in school...I have no clue as to how adjective works, how verbs and nouns co-join to form a beautiful sentence, what are the difference between conjunctions and prepositions, etc...

I learned English through a lot of reading in the past...haha...I still remember, that as a child, while being potty-trained, my dad would stack up books after books for me to read...I ended up sitting in the freakin' potty for 3 hours!!...had a nice red circle mark on my bottom, and couldn't move for a while after that...lack of blood circulating my butt...*grin*...

So excuse me for all grammatical errors in my posts...but coming back to this issue...

How in the world, did teachers without a decent command of English, get hired to teach English subjects in the first place??...(I bet its just to fill the quota system...)

This really brings out the worse in me...why would our government be willing to gamble with our children's future, by offering this people jobs of this sort?...I feel as if we are bringing our future back to pre-historic years (excuse my extremism)...instead of bringing them a foot forward...tying a slab of concrete on the students' leg, pushing them of the boat and into the sea...waving goodbye while watching them sink...

It saddens me to see that it has become an accepted trend nowadays...for people to join the teaching profession...not out of passion...but due to lack of choice...some who is looking for an easy way out...some looking for a stable salary cum benefits from the government...

Teacher who were once seen as a beacon of light...deserving respect of the highest order...have dropped so many levels, thanks to uncommitted people of sorts...There are undeniably, many gems among the rocks...but they are now a rare find...and difficult to come across...

This is definitely a mortification and chagrin of our Malaysian Education system...to want to abolish teaching subjects in English, just because many of our teachers are unable to be proficient in English...and "it does not bring any success, thus its a loss for Malays"...some have even lowered the minimum passing mark of the subject, "to ensure a rosy picture is painted of the move"...*sigh*...the very words of our politicians...such mentality...

Oh, damn...I just got sparked off again...in times like these, I feel that no words came describe my feelings than a license to curse...why the h*ll would we want to look good in statistics...when the truth is, we all suck??!!...does it secure us a prominent career in future??...will it gain us the respect that we so hunger?...will our self-confidence be boosted up or torn down??...what the teachers and the government care about, are the good images on the outside...but I bet they have never given much thought about the substances on the inside...what quality of education are we providing our future generation??...

These scumbags of a government...still hiding behind a beautiful, yet worned out picture...those cowards...It really feels as if they have not matured and nor gone through puberty at all...I would understand if little children were to sweep issues underneath the carpet, to avoid being scolded by papa...but the people whom we trust to run the country, has got chicken guts to admit that somewhere in their education...something went wrong...is downright shameful...

I have to head for the gym now...with the fire fuming within me (not for the right reasons, though), its going to be a good workout for sure...

The Great Wall of Chinese Writing...

I've done it...I had to give myself the almost impossible challenge...of the many things I've learn so far for leisure, this is by far the toughest...It first started with swimming...(yes, I started swimming at quite a late age, but we'll go to that later)...then it was charcoal drawing...followed by cross-stitching, etc...but now, I've just topped it...by choosing to conquer reading and writing in Mandarin once and for all...why, learning HTMLs to build a website now sounds way easier!!! (though I've yet to master that at all...gave up learning the codes after awhile...found that it didn't really interest me that much)...

(Note : Yes, so now you know I am a complete 'banana'...A Chinese living on a white skin...Am I to be held responsible that my parents would decide to send me to a national school, which deprived me from learning my mother tongue??...And so what if my mum did offer to teach me conversational Mandarin after I graduated from high school?...I was happy with the way I was then...So I refused...besides it was a complete struggle, trying to string a sentence and cracking my head open to do so...and it doesn't help when your friends are entertaining themselves at your expense...I just want to be able to converse, without rambling and feeling foolish... furthermore, I was proud...and rebellious...and stupid...there I said it, you happy??)

What I have learn so far :
1. The writing system is completely HOPELESS...
I've seen many of my friends pen down strokes after strokes of Mandarin words...and when they wrote their names using the calligraphy brushes, it is pure ecstasy...The Chinese characters, originated by images are both intriguing and fascinating...Hence, I've decided that I won't be happy learning just conversational Mandarin alone...I would have to learn to read and write as well...

It is said that one has to learn at least 2,000 words for basic literacy (reading Chinese newspaper, etc)...I've learned 10 words so far...10 out of 2,000...that makes it 0.005% of my target...all adjectives...definitely not enough to function literally...not even the Mandarin translation of 'Peter and Jane' books...And to think that to form ONE word, one has got to learn 26 freakin' strokes...and having to write them from top to bottom, left first to the right...Why won't my Chinese ancestors just stick to normal basic alphabets???...A-Z comprises of 26 alphabets...mix them together...and voila!!!...you can write a thesis on it...but Chinese characters??...just understanding the strokes would make my eyes cross...let alone form a word...

2. Trying to pronounce the Mandarin phonetics is a joke...
Every vowel, consist of 4 distinctive sounds...With all the classes of ear training that I had to go through during my music college years, you would have thought that differentiating the vowels would be a piece of cake...But the first pronunciation and the fourth sounds almost the same to me...and I am still unable to tell the difference between the second and the third one as well...

3. Looking up the dictionary for a Mandarin word, is pure torture...
While using an Oxford English dictionary is completely user-friendly, looking up a word in the Chinese dictionary is definitely what I would term as 'user-hostile'...in fact, wading for high elusive characters in a welter of unfriendly lexicons would only be for individuals with exceptional stamina, fortitude, determination and other classical disciplines...

Usually, a dictionary would be arranged alphabetically...but in Mandarin, one has got to figure out the radical character of the word...then you will have to go through the homonyms to find the right character with the right meaning...to make sure it is the right word, you will have to count the number of written strokes required and radical identification...which of course, is beyond my comprehension...man, this way it will take me a much longer time, than if I were to learn...Braille and the Dewy decimal system altogether!!...
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So learning Mandarin has yet to make a mark on me...*sigh*...but I am determined to hang on tight...this issue has been lugging in my head long enough...its high time I either sit on it...or I move on...

My mission is to be able to read the proper Three Romantic Kingdoms (that would require knowing 4,000-5,000 Chinese characters, mind you)...not the one with comics and English dialogues...that's just pure baloney...I also want to be able to appreciate the beauty of Chinese poetry...I have heard it many times before...and even though I never understood it, it was music to my ears...and last, I want to be able to read Confucius' original writings...but, that is another task to breakthrough...

I'll have to save that for later...

This state of affairs have been disheartening to me so far...especially for me who is impatient to devour the vast riches of Chinese literature...so far, it has been nothing but boring and bland diet of pre-school books,(which I can't even make out the instructions, let alone understand the exercises), textbooks and carefully edited kiddy books...it certainly looks like I'll be bound to this for the few years to come...I feel as if I am being on a weight diet...painful...and depressing...

Show me da $$$$!!!

Okay...first of all, my mum ain't gonna like this if she finds out...so lets hope she doesn't visit my blog no more...secondly, for those of you who knows my mum, do me a favour and zip it up, will ya...thanks...no rewards, though...*grin*...

I just lost (for the moment) RM1.6k...which is a lot of money, especially for a person like me, who earns just enough wages to cover her monthly expenses (piano and violin lessons, food, petrol, etc)...

No, it wasn't robbery, though it is pretty rampant these days...it wasn't scams either...

You see, I usually do my students a favour, by helping them purchase instruments or whatever they need for their lessons. One can't get much discount buying books, but we music teachers do get a special discount when it comes to purchasing music instruments...especially when dealing with the instrument dealer themselves, and not through any franchisee....

All my students who have purchased music instruments through me, have been quite disciplined so far...they know my financial situation, and are good to their words...some paying me the full sum by cash (yea, I get really scared knowing that I am holding a couple of thousand Ringgit CASH in my handbag), some by cheque...well, mostly cash...

Naively, I never asked them to pay a deposit (which I should have, of course), as they seemed really serious about the purchase...besides, all of them gave me no trouble and was prompt in closing the deal...

Until now...

One of my adult students have been expressing interest in purchasing a keyboard with a budget of RM1.5k-2k...she needed it anyway, since she does not own a piano, but is taking up pop piano lessons with me...so she asked me to look for one...which I told her I will...she even offered to put a down payment (which I should have taken, but being the idiot that I was...didn't)...

I placed an order for the Casio keyboard that matches her needs...got it at RM1.6k when the market price was RM1.9...the keyboard arrived in a couple of days, and I send her a message to inform her so...she replied that she wanted to see it, but wouldn't be able for the coming 3 weeks since she had to attend a training, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa...so I said, that she could do so once she comes back...

I hate it, when at this point when I am doing people a favour, I still have to constantly follow up on them, like a naggy grandmother...

3 weeks passed and still no news...I messaged her again, quite irritated this time...and freaked out, upon reading her reply..."I need to do some research first."...what blardy research?...why didn't you tell me in the first place?...why tell me now?...why don't you just not tell me at all??...

And finally, 3 days after..."I think I would prefer a digital piano. Can you please help me look out for one?"...

I gave her a good piece of my pewny mind...and insisted that she would in the least help me find a buyer...I got three "sorry(s)" from her...and a dial tone...never heard from her since...not even attended my class...till now...that was 2 weeks ago...

So now, I am stuck with a new keyboard, with no one to sell to at the moment, as I have got no new students to introduce it to, I can't tell my boss as I'll be fired for not helping them sell the company's instrument (which by the way, is much more expensive...and whats more, no commission for me)...all my music friends either have got a keyboard of their own...or need a keyboard that has more functions that the model that I am holding...

Yes, if you're asking...I definitely have learnt my lesson...though I do wish that it didn't have to happen now...all the money that I have saved for my trip to Aussie...just evaporated!!!...damn it!!...

Writer's Block...

I can't believe it...

Mahler, was able to compose his Symphony No. 5, which includes 5 movements altogether...resulting in 819 bars of music...

And I, am stuck at my composition...on bar 42???!!!!!.....

I have barely scratched the surface of Mahler's ingenious mind!!!....

I am currently starring at Mahler's full score of Symphony No. 5...baffled...

Strings of contrapunctal melodies, imitation of sounds of nature, introduction of dissonant themes, and other creative ideas jump out of these 819 bars...

So how in the world am I still stuck at BAR 42????!!!!!

Sorry, I just needed a place to rant...

Weirdos of different kind...

I dropped by gym as usual today...I have not been as consistent as I would like to, as I have been back in hometown for a week...and final projects to hand in before that...

My usual habit while working on a treadmill would be to scout for a magazine, place them on top of the treadmill counter, crank up my mp3 player to the maximum volume and finally, start my jog...

But today, I realized that I have seen and read every magazine available in the gym, through and through...and I was bored...I decided to do without it and observe the people (guys) around me instead...

So hence the list below...there was a...

1. Mr. Stinky...perspired and sweated a fountain of odor, which I'm sure he didn't make an effort to AT LEAST apply some deodorant...something tells me that he didn't wash his gym clothes, himself or his underwear...or maybe all three...I don't know...what I can't deny, though...is that festering smell of the sewage that assaulted my nose...I had to run the opposite direction for clean air...
2. Mr. Orgasm...also known as Mr. Holler from downtown...I've mention about people like this before, but I'm not referring to the same guy...an attention deficit fella, I presume...he seems to have the need to share his utmost "pain and agony" with the rest of the people...never mind that it is completely a turn-off...and distracting...but grunting, or even yelling the house down through all 4 sets is just asking for a punch in that oh-so-pathetic face of his...I kid you not, his screams are worst than a young women in labour!!...
3. Mr. and Ms. Tighty-pants...self-explanatory...
   
4. Mr. Toulouse (Too Loose)...also self-explanatory...like I said in my previous post...whatever you have to offer, does not interest me...not even your full butt crack...
   
5. Ms. Dumbelina...for crying aloud...if you have a problem doing weights, ask for help...DON'T WHINE!!!...you're a complete embarrassment to the lady community!!...and if you're not used to heavy weights, don't over do it!...what is the sense of lifting a 10kg dumb bell, when you have barely scratched the surface of 5kg weights?...and after that, you literally scream in your oh-so-whiny voice for any knight in shining armour to take the weight off you, complaining it being too heavy...and no, I'm not taken in by your pout or deliberate cries of aches...we both know you're screaming for attention...and of course, the other guys will willingly come to your aid with their tongues hanging out...
   
6. Mr. Egomaniac...wanders around doing nothing...but when he observes a girl walking towards his direction, he pumps a 30kg...real neat...but doesn't work with me...and I called his bluff by snickering...and yes, I know I'm mean in that way...but hmmm...I'm not sure if I cared or not!!
   

Mr. Orgasm was being specially annoying today...literally screaming throughout the one hour session he had...I was so close to giving him a piece of my mind, only to have the gym instructor advising me not to go against a 6 pack muscle guy...So what if he was rippling with muscles??!!...I wouldn't have given him an inch, even if he was He-Man of the 20th Century!!!...

Why can't we just form a certain respect for each other??...to attract unneeded attention to oneself, one has already lost the true reason of the existence of a gym...if you want attention, go to your Mum, will ya??...

Lessajinomoto is really annoyed...Hear me ROAR!!!

Someone's gotta say it...

(Note of caution : I am so steamed up...I am sure that there are tonnes of expletive profanities coming up...)

I can't take it anymore!!!...nor can I keep my mouth shut...I'm brewing with frustration...and every inch of my body yearns to scream out...

"JUST HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE CITIZENS ARE???"

All this crap about high maintenance of our Nation's baby, Proton (well, that car is crap too, by the way...a tin-can design, with a 1970's Mitsubishi engine...ah, you can't trust the government to come up with something original...)....

I'll have you know...that my Toyota Corona, is easily older than any of those blardy cars...why, it is even older than I am!!...but still...it never cost me so much as RM88,000 for fixtures!!!...

Which by the way, you Proton government people sent your cars to authorized Proton dealers for your upkeep...and I'm pretty sure that you guys are paying at a mugged down price...considering that, you would be using government/taxpayer's money to pay for the maintenance anyway...

I feel insulted...cause the way you tried to explain off the high expenses on your car...seems to insinuate that we are still monkeys from ice-age living off trees...don't you remember that half of us, travel all the time...therefore knows the market price of fixtures for car parts...me, for example...would have to know how much car servicing would be...or how much changing a carburetor cost...I have too!!...if not, there will be some stupid mechanic punk out there, who thinks we girls are dumb blonde and chop our finance in half!!...

I, for one...know that a gear box change, would cost approximately RM800 at max...at least, mine would...as my car is old...and spare parts are now hard to get...besides its a foreign car...so yes, it would be more costlier...

Now, you're telling me that you are sending your locally made Proton Perdana to an AUTHORIZED DEALER to change your gear box...for a f*cking RM15,000???!!!!...Its either you are SO DUMB, you forgot to do your research...or the authorized dealer just got the better of you...or wait...there is another option...you paid RM500 for that maintenance...and the RM14,500 went buried in your pocket...how about that, eh?...

Watch out...Here it comes...)(*$@#%^#&@^%$#*@#&^$&!!!!

IQ of an Ass...

Whatever happened to the times when roadblocks by policemen were purely for crime preventions?

Well, just so you know...in Malaysia, there are never roadblocks solely to look out for the society's well-being...there is always a bribe in between, some 'private' negotiation going on...for extra intentions that we are all so familiar with...

But not this time...

As much as the Selangor Police chief Deputy Commissioner Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar claims that the recent roadblocks are 'normal crime prevention measures', I am somehow not so inclined to believe...

What...all of your police followers suddenly got bitten by a work bug?...you decided to cut off their 11 hours of break time...all for the love and care for the society?...how sweet of you...an Angel passed the word to you, did he?...or you recently suffered a sun stroke?...

I hate to break it to you, honey...but I have come to believe that this roadblocks...are just for show....and let me tell you why...

It is a usual four lane on the highway, which expands to EIGHT lanes upon reaching the toll booth...after exiting the toll booth, these eight lanes slowly closes back to four...and a little further than that ,due to road construction, it is down to TWO freaking lanes...

It is a working Monday, you lugheads...Hundred thousands of cars, swarm and flood the highways, to get to their work place, as early as 7am...and your people, has the balls...to place those orange cones, right after the toll booth...less than a 100 metre away...closing the road, from 8 lanes...down to 2...

Needless to say, cars started piling up even 2 kilometres before the toll...at times like these, I get irritated and mutter 'words of frustration' beneath my breath...but what made me explode into expletive profanities...was when I saw NO POLICEMEN on the road at all...just them damn small orange cones...

Where are your croonies, you may ask...sitting at a bus-stop nearby, having a smoke...oblivious to the insane traffic jam they are causing...probably having a good laugh at us, trying to avoid those damn cones...

The No-Confidence motion isn't till tomorrow, you blithering idiots!!...Even if you had given an order to arrest all Anwar supporters, why should you want to do a roadblock, at every corner, and every single day?? Just so you know, I've been through four of them today, while driving to KL city and I tell ya...that was a 2 and half hours drive compared to my normal 20 minutes...my blood was brewing...so was my arse...Man, for the 2 and half hour, I would have already reached my hometown 280km away!!...Give us drivers a moments rest, would you?...It is already expensive enough, having to purchase petrol at a much higher price, now we are wasting it...while shifting gears, from Neutral, to gear one...

And if you were to issue an order, make sure your croonies see it through the end!!...What the hell are they doing, taking a smoke....while we drivers smoke through our ears...

Sometimes, don't one just itch to say..."wtf..."...Because I do...

Paycut

The highest price increase of the decade...our beloved government has decided to pull up the price of our petrol, by a freakin 78 cents...hence, petrol now can be bought at RM2.70 per litre, instead of the usual RM1.92...

This is part of their fuel subsidy plan, so they say...

But while they decide to do this, may I suggest the following...

1) Repair and improve public transportation system, BEFORE raising the bar by 40%...instead of 'planning to fix public transport using the funds that comes from the hike'...(NOTE : "planning" only)...

2) Get every employer to raise our salary by 40%, to accommodate fuel hike, which like dominoes, will inevitably cause price increase in food, groceries, etc...I for one, am up to my neck settling bills...

AND while they're at it, there are a couple of things to work on as well...

1) STOP sending UMNO 'visitors' to space...we can't afford it...

2) STOP building luxurious buildings just to impress...many architecture are now sitting as white elephants...damn it!!!

3) STOP buying military air-crafts, fighter jets, submarines and NURI helicopters...does it look like we are going to war at any time??...we are on war alright...economical war, that is!!!...

Thanks to this price increase, my car is pressing me for more money, than my stomach is!!!...

You'd gotta be kidding me...

It is school break today...as workaholic as I am, I welcomed this break with opened arms...I needed to talk to adults for a change, after all the kids talk I've done for the past few months...

My boyfriend and I dropped by KLCC for an hour or so, to pick up some tickets from the Malaysian Philharmonic box office...when I realized 'my aunty' came to visit...thanks God...you have no idea what was going through my head for this past week, as this 'aunty' of mine was 2 weeks and 5 days BEHIND schedule...another 2 more days of absence, I would have hit the roof and freaked out...

As anxious as I was, I've got to admit that I didn't come prepared...hey, cut me some slack, will ya...this 'lady' misses the train for almost 3 weeks...I have received no symptoms nor signs/hints of her coming...no bloating, no violent, dark hormonal forces,cramps, nil...

So I quickly visited the Guardian pharmacy and glanced through the vast choices of sanitary napkins...I usually go for Whisper, as that brand offers the best night security ever...35 cm long, with 'wings'...security and comfort, satisfaction guaranteed and sealed in a package...but alas, this was also one of the brands that was and still is the costliest...and being the old grub that I am, I scanned through the shelf for a cheaper option...and WALLA, there it was...at RM3.80 for 10 slim sanitary napkins...was the brand name; Always...

But at closer observation, I had to snort with laughter, and place it back...beneath the brand name; Always...was these words..."Have a HAPPY period!!"...

Are you freaking kidding me??...which lady, pray tell...can actually claim that they breeze through this time of the month, with smiles and joy...waltzing down the green meadows with no cares in the world??...as far as I know, many women out there are having cramps so painful, that it takes up all their mental strength to refrain from gnawing inside their body and ripping their uterus out!!...Others, have to entertain this hormone dysfunction, of turning into Incredible Hulk within seconds...tell me, is there anything that a women goes through during her 'aunty visit' that is in the LEAST, enjoyable??...

Well, I am not one to complain much...I am one of the lucky ones, whom this 'aunty' does not harrass too much...she finishes her business with me, in 3 days at maximum...sometimes, 2 days...I'm not sure if that is good news or not...No cramps for me...just a dull ache at times, and tiredness at others...but I'll be damned...I saw so many of my gal friends, hugging themselves in a corner, and gulping in aspirin pills for dear life!!...I'm sure many gals would agree with me on this...

So...."have a HAPPY period"??...I'd say that "Have a CRAPPY period" is more like it...

It is NEVER enough

There was a period when politicians alike, guys usually...was placing the fault of rapist, upon women, whom they claim are alluring and seducing them with the clothes they choose to wear...On and on again, this egocentric megalomaniac politicians were told to focus on the problem at hand, which is the sick mind of the rapist themselves...

But now, the female gender gets a kick in the arse, by their own people...as the article says below...
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Thursday May 22, 2008

School Uniforms Sexy, Says Group

KUALA LUMPUR: A Malaysian group condemned the uniform worn by girls at government schools, saying it encouraged rape and pre-marital sex.

“The white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction,” National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia vice-president Munirah Bahari said in a statement.

“It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it,” she said, calling for a review of uniform policy so that it did not violate Islamic ideals.

In multicultural Malaysia, home to majority-Muslim Malays as well as ethnic Chinese and Indians, female students at government schools have a choice of wearing a white blouse with a knee-length skirt or pinafore.

They may also wear a “baju kurung” and a headscarf is optional for Malay students.

Munirah said that “covering up” according to Islamic precepts was important to fend off social ills, including “rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex.”

“This leads to babies born out of wedlock and, to an extent, even prostitution,” she said.

“Decent clothes which are not revealing can prevent and protect women from any untoward situations,” she said, suggesting that girls wear a blouse of a different colour or with an undergarment.

However, the girls themselves also came in for criticism, with the association saying that some used the white blouse to lure men.

“This is the source of the problem, where we can see that schoolgirls themselves are capable of using this to attract men to them,” Munirah said.

“This could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things.” – AFP

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In my opinion;

1. If these kids had wanted sex...it doesn't matter what they wear, they will have sex anyway...by any means possible...
2. Just because there is an under-stirring and rising of hormones along the groins, it is totally illogical and sexist, to put the blame on the victim...and to know the the above article was a statement made by a women, makes it all the more unbelievable...to be vilified by our own kind...utter insult...

Enough said...I can go on for hours on end, if I don't stop myself now...

But, well...if anyone is looking for more proof that Malaysian Education System are producing 'intellectuals' with a brain, the size of a pea...here you go...

Transparent or Not

I am referring to THIS

and would just like to point out...

1. WE ARE CLOTHED...just not to your liking...

2. THE CLOTHE WE ARE CLOTHED IN...isn't that transparent...unless you are staring at us, and going downwards...and staying there...

3. Even if one were to wear camisoles...it is still 'TOO TRANSPARENT'...as you can still see the bra-strap...sue us then...know what, just create clothing made of cardboard, that is weather proof...that sure won't transparent!!...or come on, go back to basics...ever thought of just changing our white pinafore to BLACK ones??...that will solve your problem, wouldn't it??...plus, no 'demands' on the females to wear camisoles...

4. I am utterly disappointed that we should to DEMANDED to wear camisoles (though I am aware that it makes the clothe we are clothed in less 'transparent')...a word of advice, would be nice...but nobody has a right to demand against one's wishes...I find that insulting...as it seems to insinuate that we are wearing those white pinafore on purpose...just to lure mankind...(which is a load of BULL)

Malaysia - The Land of Possibles

It has suddenly just dawn upon me, on how unique our(my) government seems to handle issues 'when it matters'...since the election on the month of March till now, there has been non-stop ministerial-poking that is really getting into me. Till now, I have not found constructive evidence to prove to myself other than the fact that our government ministers never seems to address the issues at hand. They appear to just put on a mini-skirt and dance a jig around them, hoping that problems will somehow blow over...do allow me to proof my point...

So, there was a report that crime rates have increased in year 2007...so, what does our government have to say to that??..."Install CCTVs in all crime-prone areas."...they say that it would help watch out for criminal activities...if you ask me, video cameras only do good AFTER the crime happens, when there is a need to catch the criminal...it DOES NOT curb nor lower crime rates...besides, ever thought of spending the RM5.1 billion on increasing labour pay for our policemen, and giving them good training...putting able-thinking policemen to patrol crime-prone areas??

So, traffic accidents being frequent, does not paint a good picture of our government...so they spend our tax-payers $$$, to install cameras all over the place to take pictures of traffic offenders. What about using our precious money on raising awareness among drivers and stripping driving ed-centres for not educating the drivers properly??...How about 'screwing' the arses of the people in PUSPAKOM, who took lightly their responsibility of making sure all heavy motor vehicles are in working order and road-worthy?...

So, our politicians say that our youngsters need someone to look up to...forget Tun Mahathir, or Abdullah for being a legend...forget about instilling in young people, the essence of self-worth (getting a good education, passionate pursuit of goals, etc)...our government throws in millions to send this boy into space ONLY as a participant (visitor), and spending another half a million trying to convince us to dream of an astronaut...

Corruption is a problem to us, you say...Not any more!!!...our government has just came up with an ace formula...spend some billions of money printing a few hundred thousand stickers and flags that says "SAYA ANTI-RASUAH" ( I am an anti-corruption) and stick them on their uniforms, badges, police station windows, walls and ceilings...and corruption problem is bound to vanish...hmm...I wonder if our government has just came out of pre-school...or, if they ever thought that WE, the citizens have just graduated from pre-school...

What I'm trying to prove here is this :...I feel that our(my) government seems to think that everything can be proved and bought through money...to prove one is more holier than thou, he builds great number of mosques...to create good toilet-habits, they invest money (RM400k)to invent a self-functioning, fully automated toilet (only one of a kind)...one that will automatically open your door after a 15 minute use...for that kind of money spend and the kind of price charged (RM1 per entry), I would hope that it will help me wipe my arse too...

Enough rants...I don't want to sound whiny all the time...even though there are times that I am...and it is at those times that I'm thankful that I have such a patient boyfriend...*grin*

"Western Food"

Only people in Malaysia, that has not stepped outside this sorry country, would actually think that the Western food offered in a nearby mamak/coffee shop is relatively acceptably and edible...honestly...

I have a college mate all the way from America, by the name of Ryan...who looks at the soggy fried bacon with limpy french fries with distaste...he gives the exaggerated look of horror...made quotation marks in mid-air and says, "Yeah...'Western food'."...and sadly, I would have to agree...

My boyfriend and I just visited a restaurant that boast of western food, just the night before...he had smoked chicken, while I blissfully ordered what they would call 'Baked cheese Seafood'...I imagined yummy mussels, with prawns, and slices of fish...and entertain myself with some good imagination of how it would look like, will waiting for my order to come...

We were talking about phone radiation, when my order came...looks like lasagna, at first sight...my boyfriend took the liberty of officiating it...one look at his face, was all it needed to tell me how it tasted like...

Tasted like broth without salt...

Looked like over-cooked baby oatmeal...

Smelled like baby vomit...

And to make it worst...there was only one mussel, and one not-so-fresh-prawn, and two crab sticks...the rest was...broth...and uncooked eggs...eww!!!...Thank goodness I had a large cup of orange juice to wash down the taste...

It was a slow ride of agony...if it wasn't for the RM15.90 I had to pay, I would have chosen to starve...luckily I had boyfriend...he shared quarter of my pain!!...*grin*...never will I be adventurous and order food of this sort...ever...

Goes to show...do not attempt to pull of something one is not good at...Western Food is one of them...

Damn you...

I was putting on Third Wind by Pat Metheny...listening intently, while googling up some stuff on the net...I slotted in my thumbdrive (which I've recently just sent it to a printing shop, as I wanted some files in it printed)....and there came a folder...entitled "UDM SPEAKS"...under a Firefox file...

Was puzzled...I don't remember saving any file of this sort at all...but since I am capable of using shampoo to wash my face (when I am being my usual absent minded self)...I guess saving a file without remembering...is just all in a days work...

I clicked it open to take a look...and a balloon popped out...

"Hi, its me"

Instantly, I recognized it as a virus or spyware of some sort...and deleted it...when the next balloon popped out...

"You think you can just click me away?"

Man, it is starting to sound like a harrassment...how annoying...I clicked the "X" on the top right of the box once more...then the largest balloon popped out, taking up my whole screen...

"Virus has been downloaded. Now you can sleep in peace."

Hey, UDM...whatever did I do to you anyway???

Pet Peeves

People who...

...thinks its a glorifying sight to see the contents of one's food being bitten and broken down to bits...Not me!!!...Close 'yer mouth!!...

...go to great lengths to get your attention...and upon receiving it..they say "Nevermind"...

...act as if they are God's gift to human kind...come on, get a life!!...

...get of the escalators EXTREMELY slow...except for the elderly, of course...Hello!!!...if you didn't realize...there are people right behind you...if you don't get off quick, we might run into you...

...smoke right in front of you...Listen...I don't smoke...but I don't mind you smoking yourself to the brink of death...I un-willingly expose myself, as a second-hand smoker, knowing the risk of it...and I am not complaining...I am willing to be patient...but damn you if you smoke right in my face, I will personally give you a piece of my mind...literally...you know the health risk when smoking, and you made a personally choice to face it...but not me...I didn't sign up for this...and you're NOT taking me down with you...

...complains on and on...about how atrociously out of tune it sounds, when a grade 5 violin student is practising...guys, we sympathize with you...hearing a 'chicken squeal'...but if you can, please bear with us...you think listening to one practice on the violin is painful??...try being the student practicing on the violin instead...heesh...at least you guys can opt to walk out of the room anytime you want...

...stand in front of the elavators, hence blocking the way out...it is so hard for people to realize that in order to get IN those elavators, one has to first make way for people to get OUT??...

...queue in really long lines...then upon reaching the counter...take another 5 minutes to think about what to order...They had all the time in the world to make a choice, while waiting for their turn...but they had to wait till that SIGNIFICANT moment...to hold the line...and take up our time...

...speeds up...just to over-take you...secure their space in front of you...and speed up no more...if anything...they slow down...

...allows their young kids to cry...and cry...and cry...through out the whole 3 hour journey on a bus to Ipoh...

...let their young kids out of their cages...and grab a french fry from a stranger...and the parents actually thinks its cute...

...don't turn on the signal lights, when cutting you off...or when doing a turn...if the signal button is spoiled...roll down the window and make hand signs...I'm too young to die...so back off!!!...

...talk aloud in movie theaters...sister, if I wanted to know the story about your life, I'd ask...but at the moment...any movie on screen would be more interesting compared to your current life...so, if you please...SHUT UP!!!...

...just don't understand instructions..."10 items or less" counter...it means...a counter that would provide its services for people that has 10 items to buy...or maybe 9 items...in order te ordeal of waiting would be less painful...get it??...well, if you had 13 items...and you choose to ignore the sign...I can forgive you...but TWO TROLLEYS of items??!!!...25 items altogether, and the offender thinks its funny...well, I don't...it defeats the purpose of having a "10 items or less" counter, doesn't it??...

...and many more, which I'm unable to cover at the moment...those will have to be saved for later...gotta practice on my violin first...

Misconception about Contemp...whatchamacalit...

This is the usual scenario...when visiting relatives...or even bumping into an ex-schoolmate, which you've been trying to avoid, the minute you finished high school.....

"Oh...so...what are you studying now??...Engineering degree??....Gosh, you must be making good money in future!!"

"Business Management?...wow....what are you majoring in?".....

"Bio-technology?...that's great!!...How many years before you graduate?"....

And the most common that I've heard so far....

"Doctor?....Gosh...you must have been a top student in your school!!...So clever".....

Well, you get my point...

But its a different case for me....almost every time I visit MY relatives....or even when I tag along with my mom to visit her friends...

"Hey girl (some of the old aunties just can't get the hang of my English name, so to be safe, they just stick to the name "girl"...)...so what are you studying now?....Contemp-what?..."

"Contemporary music?....what music is that?...is that the same as classical??"

"Contemporary music, majoring in performance?....wow, how bad did you do in high school??..."

"Contemporary music...dude, why do you take such an easy subject?...you will have so much time in your hands, that you'll be wasting too much time hanging out in mamak stalls!!"...

"Contemporary music...erm...let me see....erm...erm...

.*blank*/*silence*.....

And the best response that I get....tops the list....

"Contemp music?...you don't look like one...Where are your piercings?...Tattoos?...Do you smoke cocaine?...Does mummy know?..."...(*are you kidding me??*)

So...Summoning the little dignity that I have left...I would just like to make a statement here...for the sake of setting the record straight....to clear all obscurity....and for venting out purposes, of course...

1. Contemporary music...DOES NOT only consist of pop songs....we DO NOT only play pop songs...which consist of an average of 3-6 chords, and 2 basic chord progressions....Contemporary music covers music of the early 1900s...starting from even Stravinsky and Aaron Copland...who are actually classical composers...Contemporary music consists of Blues music, Jazz music (Cool Jazz, Swing Jazz, Big Band Jazz...etc), Rock and Roll, Rock, Metal, Disco and Dancing Music, RNB...get the picture?.....

2. We, contemporary students don't get life easy as many people think....we don't just play music...we have to study them too...It really escapes my imagination...and understanding...as to what and how people perceive Contemporary music to be....they seem to think that we just crank up the distortion on the guitar, strike a few notes in beat and in pitch....that's music....but I do beg to differ...

a)...Learning music...be it classical and contemp (they are a completely different genre, by the way)...takes just as much discipline and concentration...like any other degrees would require....Unlike some professions like business management, Mass Communication...(No pun intended on anyone at all, as I said...its just my opinion)....students would have to bury themselves among their text books and do countless hours of research papers night after night....For us music students, not only are we suppose to produce research papers, but we are expected to practice our instruments every day....to make sure that we stay in shape...and even this, I fail to do, because I'm just so packed with daily assignments and classes...in fact, even as I type this post...it is 1:30am, 7th April '07...and I've just finished my Modern Band Ensemble final exam one and half hour ago...yup...thatz right...I finished class today at 12am....talk about having free time, eh?

b)...Music isn't only learning about notes....we also learn about the theory behind the music...learning to understand what and why the composer has written the music piece the way he did....and through that, we learn to compose our own music too...besides that, we have got to know the history of how music has evolved...we learn Aural Training...transcribing music....Band Ensemble skills....so, tell me...which part of this is easy??....Heesh....

Hey, Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying that studying to be an Accountant or even a Pharmacist is a piece of cake....but honestly speaking...studying music...Contemporary music...ain't any easier either...

3)...true, the market for Contemporary music in Malaysia is small...but that don't mean that its stagnant...we are all here to study music...for the passion of it...be it in teaching, arranging, composing, performing...or even in music technology....we will survive...well, of course...the bland fact of life, would be that....not all of us would make music as our life long career...but, heck...I'm learning something that I truly love....my life is defined and I'm happy...enough said....

4)...Learning Contemporary music don't mean that I need to DYE my hair green, mousse it up....pierce my nipples and my belly....nor get a dragon tattoo!!!...

Its just really frustrating....being labeled "bad" or even "lost"....or worse..."loser"....just because of they do not understand the very thing that I study....well...sorry, if they don't agree with my choice of career...heck, I'm not living for anyone...but myself...