I just got dumped...

Yeah, I did...the title says it all...dumped like an unwanted rag doll...left in the shivering cold...uncertainties like beyond me...am looking for the strength that I don't have...to move on to a...

HAPPIER YEAR 2010!!!!....

Yup, you read me right...and no, I have not lost my marbles...

I HAVE just been dumped...dumped and abandoned by one of my private students...that means a certain amount of pay-cut...which means I will have to find some other means that can compensate, so my debts will not mount up...

Hang on...let me break out the champagne and bring on some party girls!!!...This is worth a dozen celebrations, oh...would you believe it...I just got dumped...

Erm...no, I am not delusional nor hysteria...euphoric would be a much better word...*sigh*...such blissfulness...

This student has been such a pain since I first taught her close to a year ago...I don't blame her, though...I blame her parents...I have never in my life come across such disrespectful child that I dearly love to slap...till now...and am at a lost when I come to handling her...so far, in my experience as a her instructor;...

• she lifted up her leg to my nose, while talking to me...
• told me that she hated me, for not "playing" with her and for "giving me hard songs" as her previous instructor did...not understanding that it was due to that, that resulted in her not being able to read a single note despite learning the piano for 2 years...
• spit at my face...
• hid my handphone and house-keys, only to return them an hour later...
• hit me, when I asked her to correct a mistake...
• with all her strength, refused to count even when I have written out answers for her...
• told me to smell her socks, if I wanted her to learn a new song...

And the list is never-ending...

Sometimes, I wonder...how in the world have I managed to endure all these things for an entire year??...I am sure many of you may ask, why do I even bother at all??...surely it isn't worth the RM100/month that I am charging...teaching an hour a week...with her mum forgetting classes all the time, only to let me know when I was standing outside their house for close to 10 minutes...

Yeah, I ask myself that too...all the time...

I guess it has a lot to do with my inner good, I guess...despite her spoilt ways, I have always felt sorry that her music journey has always come to a "touch-and-go" cross-road...that in her 2 years of music learning, she has learned from 5 teachers, one after another...I am the unlucky nu.6...not one teacher stayed with her longer than a couple of months...which is rather sad, if you come to think of it...

And in the short span of time that I've been teaching, I have always believed that nobody should get left behind...that everyone deserves a chance to be exposed to music...and this student of mine applies as well...I do not plan to be known as "The teacher who gave up on me"...though I must admit that I toyed with that fantasy in my mind several times....I still choose to believe that there is some good in her...that she is a diamond in the rough...just needing time to make a few adjustments...Also, Id rather I be dumped than her...at least I can tell myself that I've tried my very best to the end of that race...

Her mum decided to end my service due to the fact that "my daughter is consumed by tuition homework"...I, on the other hand, know that my service was terminated because I couldn't produce the same result as I have with her niece...whose progress has escalated since I took over...from simple songs to Bach inventions in less than a year...

What she didn't know that unlike her niece, who is able to handle my frustrations and petty scoldings...and practices almost everyday...her daughter pouts and shows a thundering face, even at the slightest change of my voice...shows a tantrum when I try reasoning with her...and screams at the top of her lungs when I have come to the end of patience and tells her firmly not to play anymore...only to see her mum smile with the devoted "Oh,-you-can't-imagine-how-cute-she-looks-when-she-is-crying" face...

And of course, her daughter never practices...oh, she plays the piano occasionally...but just those "Mary-had-a-little-lambs" and sorts...never moving forward...nor bothering too...

Am I happier now than I was before??...Yes, because unlike before, I don't feel as if my energy has depleted even before I start...I look forward to my day with a big-pearly-white smile, because I know that I no longer have double standards...and can teach with a clear conscience...though sometimes, I still feel the hurt...disappointment...that this girl has stopped lessons...hence her musical journey comes to a halt...

I can only hope that she will show her new music instructor (God bless that woman/man) more respect than she has to me...and whoever she/he is, I also hope that she/he is more resistant to verbal abuse than I...

Now, if you'll excuse me...I am going to Genting Highlands to celebrate this momentous occasion...*winks*...

Motto for new music graduants...

A couple of months late : pay attention and learn from my mistakes...I've broken nearly all of the following...*sheepish grin*...So I'd thought I could save you guys the trouble...this applies to students of any music profession...

• If you're going to be stupid, you've got to be tough (TM)...Happens to everybody, I'm sure...its just that people like me would need more "stupid-time" than others...
• Don't lie...to anyone...even to your students...kids these days are smart as hell...and they can smell your 'poo' a mile away...
• Be nice as you can...If you can't be nice, be silent...If you can't be silent, walk away for a while and count to ten...Never switch to strangle mode...After a tiring 12 hour work shift, 6 days a week...all you have left is your auto-pilot and your self-control...Doesn't pay to lose either one.
  
• Always answer your phone...you will never know that a very much needed gig is just a pick-up call away...though I must urge you to put your foot down, should you find clients/students calling you at 12am "just to chat"!!...
• Don't take criticism personally...if you must, step aside and do an honest self-evaluation of yourself...some critics does hold water...others, are just plain words from brainless morons who can't back up their statements...
• NEVER ASSUME!!!!...
• Don't assume that just because you've explained something, that the other party understands...Don't assume that just because you've said something several times, the other party remembers...Chances are, they will conveniently forget, so you will have to explain again...
• If you have trouble with with your student/client/projects...don't give up...Keep trying...the breakthrough will come, but you have to keep trying...
• Start planning when to take leave at the beginning of the year...or you never will...
• Fake it till you can make it...you can't put off not talking to parents, apologizing for errors, PERFORMING on stage..."Being fearful" is gonna be a helluva lifelong recurring theme...[Note : I learnt this from my dad..]
  
• Appreciate your fellow colleagues and college friends, they are your lifeline, music support, last minute band on call, food delivery, complaining partners and counselors...And they are the ONLY people who will know EXACTLY how you feel because they're going through it too...
• Lastly, enjoy a great time ahead!!...Nothing beats the thought of one having the privilege to make music everyday...learn music everyday...and work with music everyday!!...

Ah...such bliss...yet so much heartache...

Tough Love...

Dear students...

Congratulations on your results for your theory exam...That moment was indeed rewarding and blissful, no?...All your hard work and commitment did pay off...I am very proud of all of you...seriously...

Enjoy your much-deserved euphoric moment...Enjoy it for the next 2 weeks...

Because come next month, we are all on level ground again on a harder and more tiring journey...Tempers will flare...at least, mine will....Patience may grow thin...(me, guilty again)...School exams will want to take precedence (as it always have been), and expectations will ride heavy on your shoulders...You may have arguments with your parents. Your teachers/parents/friends/fellow students of various clubs might send you murderous vibes for ditching lessons/tuition/being made to be your driver/listening to you playing over and over the same songs...or for just merely taking up too much oxygen and space...

For those who didn't get through the exam, tough luck...that's all I've got to say...I have said all I have to, repeated myself like a CD player gone nuts...stressing on commitment, and perseverance...students of your age, I would have expected a certain amount of discipline and responsibility from you...but should you choose to go party with your friends, or one month of vacation overseas over extra theory classes...that is beyond my help...we have talked about this before the registration of your theory exam...and being well aware of the pressure standing before you, yet you chose the path you choose...well, like I said...tough luck...we will just have to aim for the next exam...and hopefully, no more parties and wat-nots...

My advice for both parties – Suck it up...Don’t whinge...Don't cry...and move on....You're kids no more...

For we’re not done yet...In fact, we are just beginning our journey...

And it is on this journey that I would advice you to reflect on your past experience...How have you been learning so far?...Are you proud of the effort that you have put in?...How far more are you willing to go?...And most importantly...how much have you grown as a young adolescent and an intelligent musician?

Contemplate on these questions… then remind yourself to be humble...

Be humble...This is my advice which would also serve as a warning, for I would personally choose a student of humble nature over musical talent with a bad attitude...Bluntly put, if I sense any cockiness and smart-arsed remarks from you, I will sit on you real hard...or worst yet, you will be replaced....till you get your act together once more...

Above all, enjoy the music making...Play with your soul...Play because you want to...

Play, just because....

If you can do that, I think you’re the right person for this...

See you in June...

Hugz,

Lessajinomoto

Week 10 Updates...

Pardon the silence...and no, I have not died...

This is by far the most agonizing week of the year...ever...

It is the ABRSM Theory Exam next Monday...and I, being ambitious (but rubbish at many times), have registered 10 students (8 of them which are of high grades)...

And it is this week, that they choose to grow mushrooms on their brains, and forget the most basic of music theory...yes, that includes grouping of notes according to time signature, key signatures of scales, chord inversions and wat-nots....all very careless mistakes...

*groan*...of all times, why do they prove to be specially dumb this week?...why can't it be the week after next?...or did they do this, just so they can enjoy seeing me freak out throughout their lesson?...

Understandably, I have been running around, chasing my kids for the entire week...I have been giving them extra classes, even during my off days...but it just doesn't seem to be sufficient...and funnily enough, I have already completed their syllabus last year in October, so that they have abundant time for review, go through past year exam questions, etc...went through with them every itsy bitsy detail and mistakes...but today, I can't help but feel that my work has been undone...

I need a miracle...really...

I know I am aiming really high for my students...but I am confident that they can get it...now if only I can get them to drink some Red Bull just before the exam...
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I just had a short break, just two weeks back, spending a day in Genting Highlands...and I came back the next day, all pumped up and raving to go...but I am now looking forward to another break next week...Penang...my cousin and childhood mate, Jo is getting married...and secondly, I need a breather...
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I send two of my jeans and a long pants to fix a couple of days back...and had to pay quite a hefty sum for it...I think I just got ripped off...man, I have got to learn how to do extensions on my own next time...
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Plan to go back hometown next week, over the school holidays...and back to my ever-dramatic life with my grandma...and being her chauffeur for the week...and most probably drive her to Penang, so she can join her friends for another gambling session...so what's new...

Btw, my boyfriend has really mastered the art of pampering...*grin*...after last week's incident, he took us out for an eating spree...and some book shopping...clothes shopping...more eating...not at all good for my waist definition...=)...haha...he definitely knows the way to a gal's heart...*winks*

I think I've over-done it this time...I've given more than I should, and now I am feeling the heat...sometimes I think that it does not pay to be a nice person...no matter how or what you do for your students, there are many parents who fall short of appreciating it...I'm not a baby, that constantly requires praise and compliment...what I do for my students...whatever extra I give my students, are on my own initiative...and that is when parents start on their list of demands...I would give in to their demands, if it suits me...but I can't possibly give-in to all of them...and now, I feel as if I am being treated like trash...they would not even bother to call in to give me a heads up, when they are not able to make it...kept me waiting and wasting my time...and they demand that I replace the class, or they won't pay the studio their monthly fees...

Give me a thousand kiddos to teach than a parent of these character to deal with...

Being a music teacher or a teacher is no joy-ride, that's for sure......you've got to major in counseling, human resources, people-relationship, childcare, business administration, secretary, student pedagogy and music all at the same time...

I am exhausted...mentally and emotionally...

Lights out...

At wits end

I've just decided to conquer Mandarin once and for all...for various reasons...

1. I want to be able to converse with my boyfriend's friend and family...I noticed that it can be mentally tiring, to need to translate every conversation they are having, to English, just to accommodate me...

2. Some of my students are limited in their understanding of English...and I need to stop using sign-languages...

But, hell...

I don't like Mandarin...I never did...well, maybe if I was familiar with it at a younger age, it would not be so hard...so, can anyone blame me??...it is not my fault that I had no Mandarin influence when I was a kid...all my childhood friends then were 'bananas' too...by the time my mum realized its importance, I was already near college age, and refused at all cost, to join 5 year olds in learning their Mandarin vocab...and how annoying that both my brothers are lucky enough to avoid the same fate...

Aarrgghh!!!...it is frustrating to learn to converse in a foreign language, when I already am so comfortable in the language I'm functioning in now...it is also painful to be laughed at, at this age...to be laughed WITH, is fine with me...but to be laughed AT, (after a while), could be a large blow to self-confidence...

Secondly, the vocab of Mandarin is so large, I don't know where to start!!...First of all, as I'm not able to read Mandarin words, my resources are thus limited to conversations...so, for the first time, books are not really there to help me improve my vocab!!...the only people I talk to; my students, a couple of my friends, my family, and my boyfriend...ah, well...at least that is a start...

I was just wondering, if I should join a Mandarin class...still struggling with that thought...as much as I want to open myself to learning Mandarin, I'm not sure if I'm totally comfortable yet, forcing myself to classes of two hours a week...probably with some kiddies!!...