Wednesday, September 10, 2008

More Information...

My friend tagged me...but instead of writing in the usual questionnaire style, I decided to put it in paragraphs instead...so here goes nothing...

The person I miss most, is buried in Tasmania somewhere getting his music degree...At the moment, I can hear my watch ticking...the fan blasting away at level 5...the creaking of the chair that I'm sitting in...Cindy Goh (not related) was my secondary school classmate...we may share the same surname, but we are definitely of different character...she is more sociable, whereas I am more of a recluse/hermit (take your pick, I couldn't care less)...

I'm facing the usual problems that a working cum studying gal would go through...but for now, I'm getting really irritated at the fact that I have to study the Finale music notation software, when I'm already so used to using the Sibelius music notation one...all thanks to my lecturer who has confessed that he can only function in Finale...

Hmmmm...I wouldn't call 'a long crush' as a waste of time...more often than not, it is me who finds it difficult to move on...or maybe, I'm just not been crushed enough...I'd like to believe that I have good patience when it comes to relationships...that kills me sometimes...and of course, now that I look back, I can see how silly I was...and how I could have handled it better...but I don't regret it...all my crushes (yes, there was more than one...so what..heesh) make me appreciate my guy more and more...and the people who have stood by my side all this while to keep me grounded...

I am going to refrain from commenting on drugs I may or may not have taken...my mum reads my blog...and the last thing I want, is for her to box the daylights out of me...so if you are still curious and wanna know, give me a beep...or even an email...I might reply...MIGHT...

I have got best friends...confidantes, and play-mates, a shoulder to cry on...a listener...the whole package...one is in Penang...and the other, is more than 5,000 km away!!!

I would probably forgive the person who hurt me most...but I'll also probably have to tell him/her..."Things will never be quite the same again...it just doesn't work that way anymore"...accept the apology, but move on...

Well, the guys whom I've had crushes on during secondary school...we don't really keep in contact very much...so no, I don't talk to them much...but that can't be helped...we've got our own lives to lead anyway...but the crushes that I've had in this recent years, had a knack of disappointing me in the end...one even called me a "holy Bitch"...I've decided its a waste of my precious time waiting for losers like that...their lost, my gain...

Hmmm...I guess I have broken hearts before...hearts of really nice guys, whom I hold no special feelings for...but as far as relationships are concern, I am usually the dump-ee, not the dump-er...So its usually my heart that ends up broken...not theirs...

Of course I do care what people thinks of me...certain people...people whom I care and love...I have an unconsious filtering system...from my family to strangers walking down the street...the less closer I am to them, the less I care about what they think about me...Doesn't anyone feels the same?

Hmmmm...well, I can't remember the time my parents last yelled at me...I haven't been back hometown long enough to drive them up the wall...maybe if I did, they'd probably be yelling at me all the time...I don't know...I am proud to say though, that my parents are now able to see me as the young learning adult that I truly am, and we are able to sit down and sort out much of our differences...and still survive it with a smile...I can only remember my mum yelling at me to join them for dinner...lunch...I forgot...but I really wouldn't call it yelling...more of, shouting up the stair-well from ground to first floor, penetrating through closed doors, where I am happily glued to my mp3 player and the volume cranked way high...

I'd be a liar in an angel's suit, if I were to insist I do not hold grudges against anyone...when something bad happens to me, I'd like to blame the whole world except myself...ah, well...doesn't everybody?...but I try not to dwell on it...sometimes, it isn't because I choose to hold on to grudges, but it was because the hurt was so deep...a certain damage is done...and it is difficult to put on a fake smile, and hug that someone with all sincerity...

I'm suppose to practice my piano and violin etudes daily...but as life would have it, I've only practiced my piano this morning...and have yet to touch my violin...a little leisure wouldn't hurt...or would it?...*grin*...

I don't think I've ever come to the extend of hating someone...Dislike or feel uncomfortable with is more like it...the sissy-dumb-blonde image that some girls tend to hold...or a guy with balls for his brains, working out in his gym, shouting cuss words aloud just to get all pump out...they annoy me...

1 comment:

Philip926 said...

Hey Emily, you've got another Sibelius fan here...I switched from Finale years ago. Sibelius is so user-friendly compared to Finale.

Just some advice from an old fart like me if you don't mind. Do your studying and career first. The boys can, and will come later, heh heh!

And please please, DON'T do drugs! Argh!

Take care of yourself