Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Jinxie choronicles...

So, for company, I've got a 9 year old Electrolux schizophrenic washing machine (courtesy of the landlord who wouldn't take it back) that either wouldn't stop vomiting foam, or go into bouts of seizure whenever it feels like it...*man, try stopping an 80kg male from throwing a tantrum!!*...This is my first time handling a side-door washing machine...so excuse my ignorance...I am still learning...

Its base isn't stable, so it does a Red Indian dance about the dry kitchen while it does its spinning...Its label is so worn down, that I've got to go figure on my own, what all the knobs meant...and blardy hell, why so many knobs??...yeah, so I realized that this ancient relic was not born in the 21st century, but still...and the landlady wasn't much use...she was just as clueless as we are...testing the knobs as she wishes till they came out loose...and it doesn't help that this Electrolux model is so old, that it was impossible to google up online for its manual...


Now, on to Discovery Channel...here is what I've found out...

My washing machine is a female with a double PMS...and here is why...
  • she is highly temperamental and unstable...despite all the buttons I push and knobs I turn...she remains silent till I coax her with some TLC...
  • freezes without any apparent reason...in the middle of the washing process...
  • And with maximum patience, it is possible to get it to perform trivial task...such as open the side door...
  • sulks A LOT...at any given chance...
First of all, Jinxie...(yeah, I've given it a name...not that I am very fond of it...but we have developed a love-hate relationship along the way, y'know)...Jinxie would not start...I've checked the connections, checked the plugs...double checked it again...well, seeing how absent minded I could get at times...Power was switched on...but it just wouldn't get going!!...

Man, I never thought I'd say this, but guys really do have a magic touch!!...I've pushed every button I can see...restarted Jinxie...and nil...nothing happens...my boyfriend comes along, ejects Jinxie's side door open...closes it again...and voila!!...Water gushes out from the pipe, brilliantly...and churns like a baby...His magic touch doesn't stop with Jinxie...there was the water heater, computer printer, etc...but I will leave those for a next post...

So, Jinxie came back to live...not knowing very well how Jinxie functions, I allowed it to wash overnight, assuming that it would be ready for drying the next day...late next morning, after putting on the kettle boiler, I headed towards Jinxie and ejected the door...WHOOSH!!!!...water spills onto the floor and my dry kitchen was now looking more like a war zone...soapy water filled, drenched wet clothes, a really pissed off Lessajinomoto...and a laughing hyena of a boyfriend...somehow, Jinxie missed the spinning process...and vomited on me...I blame those stupid knobs...

At that time, I couldn't help but think...if there is a Man up there...he hates me... *sigh*


I've also learned that Jinxie comes with a heated water and spinning services too...altogether a brilliant idea...except that it consumes a lot of electricity...and...well, I've managed to live with cold water and no extra services....no point for all these luxury...so I plan on turning it off...now, if only I can find the "heater" button/wire so that I can turn/cut it off...

In summary, here are a couple of things I have come to know about handy-work and old houses...
  1. Women and hardware rarely get along with one another...Leave those jobs for real men...
  2. Don't be a smart alec and pour more into the kettle boiler, than it can take...chances are, it will take revenge on you...and you end up with the mess...
  3. Women in general have butter fingers when it comes to nails and hammer...I've stopped counting how many nails I've bent...and how many times I've aimed at my thumb...
  4. Never ever get too fancy lights...you'll have a helluva time just putting the pieces together...
  5. Never overdose your cupboards with mothballs...I had "mothball-ed" Milo with milk, because of that...there are easier ways to die...
  6. ....*will update the next time*...

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