Travel : On things I've learned while in Phuket...

Just a few reminders for myself just so I don't repeat my mistakes :

• Shopping in Phuket isn't for the faint-hearted...Conserve your energy to barter, barter, barter...if you're not up to it (like me)...walk away...window shop, and don't hope for too much...
• Driving in Phuket or Thailand for that matter...is a dead No-No...You've got to be resolute, your senses sharpened...bold...and a jerk, at times...when it comes to confronting traffic...You can't be all four, and read the map at the same time...There are tonnes of motorcycles here...and there is no law that says you are required to wear a helmet...also, streets aren't systematic there...just as you thought you're in a one way street...you see a car heading towards you from an opposite direction...btw, the car/motorcycle that you rent there is NEVER insured...so damages are on you...
  
• Gear yourself with motion sickness pills...you'd never know when you need one...be it in one of the speed boat trips in choppy waves, or in the midst of one of the twisted roads of Phuket...or in an air-plane...it'll come in handy...if not for you...your loved one...
  
• Red flags errected in the middle of the beach = strong waves, keep away!!...
• Go for Thai massages BEFORE joining those crazy sun-stroke activities...sun-burnt skin and Thai massages are never good combination...its heart wretchingly PAINFUL!!!...man, you've got to be there to know it...
  
• When hiring a driver/taxi/Tuk-Tuk...tell them you want to see beautiful sceneries and take pictures...not go shopping...especially in destined tourist shopping centres...insist on it...
• Swiss army knifes aren't allowed on board the plane...neither are empty shell bullets-made-into-necklace...
  
• Tiger shows...are actually lady-boys display...and other sexual fancy stuff...not to be taken literally...and they are spelled as "Thai-Girl" shows...not "Ti-Ger" shows...bleh...when I heard it the first time, I thought it would be wild Bali and Caspian tigers...heesh...gave me a thrill of the moment...all for nothin'...
  
• When in doubt, its ALWAYS a dude...that is a tip for guys out there...if you happen to be checkin' out some hot babes...and you come across one, that somehow looks slightly off the page...chances are you're lookin' at a brother...though there was ONE time, when I was wrong...
• Make friends with a local...they are extremely friendly...and they will willingly help you buy the stuff that you want...at a local price too...so you don't get ripped off that much...they will also advice you on which shop to visit or not...trust the locals to know their market...
• Remove footwear, when you approach a massage parlor...or dropping by a shop...locals always close an eye when it comes to custom such as these...but I can see that they appreciate it when they sense we know our place...and keep our shoes out of their business premises...of course, this does not apply to street vendors...
• Geographically, Phuket is situated on the west side of the shore of Thailand...so the sunset rules there...don't waste time waking up early for the sunrise...you won't get any, you nimwit!!...like...DUH!!!
• When ordering food, always order ala carte...ordering singles will come to R350 Baht per person (equivalent to RM35)...while ala carte (all seafood, mind you) will only cost R130 Baht per person at maximum (RM13) after dividing the cost among friends...