Parents teach...children learns...

LEGAL DISCLAIMER : The post below are just meant for laughs...it doesn't represent my parents in any way...I don't think my parents will hang me for putting this up...if I'm lucky, they'll get a good laugh out of it...if not, God have mercy...

1. Parents teach their children RELIGION .
“You better pray that my car can be fixed or else someone's gonna get hurt real bad...”...I jammed my dad's car into a side wall...back seat doors was crushed as a result...

2. Parents teach their children LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that’s why...”

3. Parents teach MORE LOGIC...
"I've had eaten more salt than you've eaten rice, how dare you question me??!!"...a Chinese saying which means that the parent have had more life experiences than the child, and we should always trust without question whatever they say/do...that's a tyrannic act, I'd think...

4. Parents teach their children FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you gotta 'blueprint' of what you're planning to study...where your funds come from?...what are you going to do after your degree?...how long will it take??...etc, etc"...when I was a fresh naive 17 year old, give me a break, will ya!!!...jeez, at that time, the only source of funds I knew was from my PapaMama foundation...

5. Parents teach their children IRONY.
“Keep crying, gal and I’ll give you something more to cry about...you see this cane??”

6. Parents teach their children about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Don't talk with your mouth full and eat your supper.”

7. Parents teach their children about CONTORTIONIST.
“Will you look at that stain on your t-shirt??...I just bleached it yesterday...”

8. Parents teach their children about STAMINA and CONCENTRATION...
“Don't even think of movin' from your chair til' you've finished those veggies and your rice...”

9. Parents teach their children about WEATHER .
“This room of yours looks as if a lightning storm, blizzard, flood, and tornado went through it...all at the same time!!!...”

10 Parents teach their children about HYPOCRISY .
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. And don’t exaggerate!”

11. Parents teach their children about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Man, now you're starting to sound and act like your father/mother!!”

12. Parents teach their childrenabout ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who can't afford a decent meal at home...now eat your Maggi mee...”

13. Parents teach their children about ANTICIPATION.
“Just you wait until we get home...you're gonna get the best thrashing you've ever had..”

14. Parents teach their children about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it from me when you get home...just you wait...(refer to Nu. 13)..."

15. Parents teach their children GENETICS.
“You got that crooked nose from your father...your drama skills from your grandmother...sadly, you didn't get inherit any bargaining skills from your mother...”

16. Parents teach their children WISDOM.
“It's too complicated to explain to you now...When you get to be my age, you’ll understand...”

17. Parents teach their children about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out to be a pain just like you..."

He says, she says...

• Twas one night when her gear box wouldn't work...
• Though she floored the clutch, it wouldn't go in gear...
• She calls the mechanic...
• Gear box would work only when the engine is off...not on...
• You would have to drive the car to my place for a check-up...
• I doesn't know how to drive a car, whose gear box doesn't work...
• Its possible, but the roads must be clear or of light traffic to avoid any possible accidents...something like a jumpstart, the only catch is that you cannot stop the car AT ALL, till you has reached your destination...
• I am in Seri Kembangan...
• coincidentally Seri Kembangan is a suburb that never sleeps...NEVER...
• the other alternative is for you to come to my shop, and take me to your car cz I don't know the way...
• I will try....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• She manages to get a friend who would so kindly take her to the mechanic...
• thank you...
• no problem...
• Oops...
• What??
• I accidentally left my car keys in the car...could you turn back??
• no problem...
• and he U-turns...
• Yikes
• What??
• I just remembered I locked the car door before leaving...with my car keys INSIDE the car...
• no problem...
• and he U-turns...again...
  
• crap, I also left my house keys all locked in the car...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• She reaches the mechanic shop and called the mechanic...
• I will follow you and your friend in another car...
• okay...
• Upon reaching Seri Kembangan once more, he tries to open her locked door...successful...
• thank God, no trouble there...
• her car keys and house keys retrieved...
• nothing wrong with your car...
• What the h-ll??
• gear-box is fine...
• no way
• She insisted on test drive...everything is fine...
• car sounds slightly sluggish for a certain reason, best to take it back to my shop...
• crap...she needed the car for work the next day...but never mind...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• The mechanic has gone back home...the assistant drove her car...
• He was a friendly guy and they had a short chat on the way back to the shop...
• She was sharing about how stupid things went, with her leaving her car keys behind, etc...
• They reach the shop safely...
  
• thank you...
• no problem...
• He stops short and slaps his forehead...
• what?
• crap...
• why?
• I left the store keys in my car...
• So? Go get it from your car...what is the big deal?
• I locked my car...
  
• And?
• My car keys is inside the shop that is locked...and the keys that open the locks of the shop is in my car that is locked...
• ....................

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was Lady Luck playing a joke on us...

I just got dumped...

Yeah, I did...the title says it all...dumped like an unwanted rag doll...left in the shivering cold...uncertainties like beyond me...am looking for the strength that I don't have...to move on to a...

HAPPIER YEAR 2010!!!!....

Yup, you read me right...and no, I have not lost my marbles...

I HAVE just been dumped...dumped and abandoned by one of my private students...that means a certain amount of pay-cut...which means I will have to find some other means that can compensate, so my debts will not mount up...

Hang on...let me break out the champagne and bring on some party girls!!!...This is worth a dozen celebrations, oh...would you believe it...I just got dumped...

Erm...no, I am not delusional nor hysteria...euphoric would be a much better word...*sigh*...such blissfulness...

This student has been such a pain since I first taught her close to a year ago...I don't blame her, though...I blame her parents...I have never in my life come across such disrespectful child that I dearly love to slap...till now...and am at a lost when I come to handling her...so far, in my experience as a her instructor;...

• she lifted up her leg to my nose, while talking to me...
• told me that she hated me, for not "playing" with her and for "giving me hard songs" as her previous instructor did...not understanding that it was due to that, that resulted in her not being able to read a single note despite learning the piano for 2 years...
• spit at my face...
• hid my handphone and house-keys, only to return them an hour later...
• hit me, when I asked her to correct a mistake...
• with all her strength, refused to count even when I have written out answers for her...
• told me to smell her socks, if I wanted her to learn a new song...

And the list is never-ending...

Sometimes, I wonder...how in the world have I managed to endure all these things for an entire year??...I am sure many of you may ask, why do I even bother at all??...surely it isn't worth the RM100/month that I am charging...teaching an hour a week...with her mum forgetting classes all the time, only to let me know when I was standing outside their house for close to 10 minutes...

Yeah, I ask myself that too...all the time...

I guess it has a lot to do with my inner good, I guess...despite her spoilt ways, I have always felt sorry that her music journey has always come to a "touch-and-go" cross-road...that in her 2 years of music learning, she has learned from 5 teachers, one after another...I am the unlucky nu.6...not one teacher stayed with her longer than a couple of months...which is rather sad, if you come to think of it...

And in the short span of time that I've been teaching, I have always believed that nobody should get left behind...that everyone deserves a chance to be exposed to music...and this student of mine applies as well...I do not plan to be known as "The teacher who gave up on me"...though I must admit that I toyed with that fantasy in my mind several times....I still choose to believe that there is some good in her...that she is a diamond in the rough...just needing time to make a few adjustments...Also, Id rather I be dumped than her...at least I can tell myself that I've tried my very best to the end of that race...

Her mum decided to end my service due to the fact that "my daughter is consumed by tuition homework"...I, on the other hand, know that my service was terminated because I couldn't produce the same result as I have with her niece...whose progress has escalated since I took over...from simple songs to Bach inventions in less than a year...

What she didn't know that unlike her niece, who is able to handle my frustrations and petty scoldings...and practices almost everyday...her daughter pouts and shows a thundering face, even at the slightest change of my voice...shows a tantrum when I try reasoning with her...and screams at the top of her lungs when I have come to the end of patience and tells her firmly not to play anymore...only to see her mum smile with the devoted "Oh,-you-can't-imagine-how-cute-she-looks-when-she-is-crying" face...

And of course, her daughter never practices...oh, she plays the piano occasionally...but just those "Mary-had-a-little-lambs" and sorts...never moving forward...nor bothering too...

Am I happier now than I was before??...Yes, because unlike before, I don't feel as if my energy has depleted even before I start...I look forward to my day with a big-pearly-white smile, because I know that I no longer have double standards...and can teach with a clear conscience...though sometimes, I still feel the hurt...disappointment...that this girl has stopped lessons...hence her musical journey comes to a halt...

I can only hope that she will show her new music instructor (God bless that woman/man) more respect than she has to me...and whoever she/he is, I also hope that she/he is more resistant to verbal abuse than I...

Now, if you'll excuse me...I am going to Genting Highlands to celebrate this momentous occasion...*winks*...

The Parody of the Mistaken Father...

One day, a man came home from work and his children ran to him, calling out...

"Father, father...you're back!!"....

His neighbour who was working on the garden next door overheard this and got really upset...He spoke to the man..."Can you please tell your children to stop calling you "Father???"

Surprised, the man asked, "But why??"

The neighbour retorted, "Because my children calls me "Father" as well...They might get confused and mistaken you to be their father..."

If you're looking for more ridiculous laugh-lines, you might want to read this...

My motherland of stolen engines and missing truths...

If you noticed, I've not blogged much about Malaysia and its idiosyncratic government for quite a while now...If anything, I have successfully resisted from reading the daily newspaper, opting to do some research from good ol' www.google.com...and instead of indulging in nonsense of that sort and writing mournful posts that sometimes does sent me down in the dumps, I have chosen to occupy my time with things more worthwhile...it did work for a coupla months...

But I could not turn deaf ears on a recent article...well, not so recent, actually...it came out mid-December last year ('09)...I just got myself thinking about it these couple of days...Sherlock Holmes and Watson would have loved sniffing about this mystery...The case of the Missing Jet Engines...

Do allow me to outline the events that lead to this news...

• four F-5E Tiger II fighters and two RF-5E Tigereye reconnaissance jets were part of the air force's 12th Squadron's (Scorpion) fighter planes back at the Butterworth (Penang) air base...
• The still operational engines of these six 5Es were transported in military containers to Sungai Besi (Kuala Lumpur) for routine maintenance...Jet engines were stored in Sungai Besi warehouse, while service and maintenance records were kept in a safe in an office in the base...
  
• Year 2007 : TWO jet engines was discovered missing after an auditing was done...service and maintenance records can't be found...it is also reported that other equipments have gone astray the same year...
  
• Early 2008 : Police report was made...or so they say...
• Dec 2009 : Matter came to the attention of the media and public...

* Ah well, this is after all the average speed things run here in my motherland...2 YEARS...before an investigation is instigated...*

Sources are from Asiaone...

I'm sure every Malaysian citizen has several questions on their mind...

• Why no security checks, details and paperwork?
• How was the safe broken into?
• What are the 'other equipments' that are missing? Why aren't they brought to light?
• How were those two engines (collectively worth RM100 million/ USD30 million) stolen in broad day light and how did they get transported without getting noticed?
• If it was stolen, how come legal and official documents pertaining sales and shipping of engines are found?
• Does anyone else besides me that suspects a large cover-up/work of corruption?
  

....and the list never stops...

"It is not easy to just cart away [jet] engines without authorization and proper documents," so says Malaysia's Police Chief Musa Hassan...

Unfortunately, I think he is being contradicted by facts...

One being...our Police Chief announcing that three low-ranking airmen and a company agent were the ONLY ones involved...

Yeah, and you expect me to buy that...pitiful low-ranking men looking to make a penny or two more...puts its life on the line...wrap their ever-so-muscular arms around the engine...and waltzes away with it...AND...they succeed...not once...but TWICE...all these happening...under the watchful hawk-eyed high ranking officers...

Breathtaking, isn't it??...In fact, I would say that it is almost laughable...if it weren't such a serious matter...

Just in case you may not have an idea how the engines look like...here are some pictures of it...

And it doesn't help that our current PM Najib Razak claims that "there is no cover-up"...and that "the Defence Ministry and Royal Malaysia Air Force reported the theft to the police immediately after it was discovered"...

So..."no cover-up" + legal sales and purchase documents and shipping + 3 little green men and their green cards + 2 missing engines = ????????

You do the maths...

But wait...I think I am getting too caught up with these two engines...

I have another question for the RMAF (Royal Malaysian Air Force) and for our dearest PM as well...here goes...

~ There were originally six jet engines altogether...two were "accounted for" and labeled as missing...but what about the other FOUR jet engines??...Are they still safe in the warehouse??...or they have sold, but not brought to light?....

Knowing our current government and its reliability, I choose to believe in the later...I mean, four jet engines sold makes RM200 million/USD60 million more...and our nation's attention isn't on it!!

Is anyone else curious to know??...Hey, after all, they are taxpayer's money...

Erm, *grin*...I don't pay tax yet...so I am not feeling so much of the pinch...but I do feel for the people who does...

Note : Should you find me not putting up another post within this week, you might want to alert my mum and dad...I might be one of those unfortunate bloggers that are arrested for sedition over my opinion above...

0012 HRS, 2010

It was a full moon against the clear blue sky...colourful fireworks light up the night sky welcoming the new year...while the wind was quite still, cool breeze stroked my face as I was playing on a swing in a playground nearby...It feels good to be a kid once more...even if it was just mere 5 minutes...the firework display was on going around my neighbourhood...some, you know were lavishly spend...while others were kept simple and nice...

Kong-Ming lanterns (or sky lanterns as the Westerners would call it) were lit up and was set free to start its journey towards heaven...A traditional act of the Chinese following the story of the Three Kingdoms, these red silk lanterns held wishes of the desperate, the needy and the sincere-heart...praying for their loved-ones, or giving thanks for joyful events...others choose to believe that they are sending away their problems and worries in a dignified manner...either way, it was really beautiful watching them ascend towards the dark sky...completely serene and undisturbed...

Besides that, nothing seems to have changed much...My Utorrent is currently still at 3.6kB/s download...I don't expect it to go any faster than that these few days but that's alright...I am trying to start my year with more patience and perseverance...I have no intention of loosing my will to a dumb-arse Internet line, which I pay RM90/month for...which is quite expensive, even if you were to compare it to other countries...

The stupid credit card tax has not been waived...I still feel it is crackers to have to pay RM50 tax for a credit card...to fund a penniless government and their penthouse...politicians here are still dealing the racial cards...and the new electricity tariff will be announced soon...and on the first page of TheStar newspaper, in the excitement of greeting year 2010...there will be an increase price in sugar...surprises never ceases, does it?...

Malaysia has not snowed yet...still hot and humid as usual...*BAH!!*...Barbaric punk-like nerds still exist, in fact...they are still wading their way into an already crammed commuter...without complete disregard to the fact that there are people who needs to make an exit, in order that there would be room to accommodate them...I am still writing my year 2010 plans with scrape marks (an obvious error on my part, since I've dated them all as "2009" when it was suppose to be "2010")...my feet...my feet...has yet to grow an inch...still size 3, the last time I measured...*sigh*...

My heart is of course, slightly hopeful...a new year, a brand new start...and hopefully better politics...wait, did I hear one of my many cranial nerves says..."HAH, FAT CHANCE!!"?????