The Malaysian Circus is now showing!!!...

So, hang on a minute....regarding my previous post...

the Malaysia Education policy goes as such..

• starting from year 2012, students who are studying primary Year 1 and 4, secondary Year 1 and 4...are required to study their Science and Maths subject in Bahasa Malaysia...those in vernacular schools are required to take theirs in their own mother tongue...

• BUT when it comes to the highest level, secondary Year 6 (or Form 6 as we know it)...and having to sit in one of the toughest exam (STPM) that determines our fate in public universities...we have got to revert back to Science and Maths in English...as that policy has not changed...
  

In conclusion...our future primary Year 1 and 4, secondary Year 1 and 4 would have to go through English education for another 2 years (2010-2012)...under the care of 'mad' teachers...having to take intensive English tuition classes to help cope with their studies...only to go through another bout of intensive Bahasa Malaysia tuition classes in year 2012 to adjust to the change that our clowns in the parliament chose to implement...

And those who are nearing secondary Year 6, would have to endure the painful switch once more to Science and Maths in English...while having to cram in 3 modules of Chemistry, Biology, etc...excruciating activities, tuition...all in a span of 18 months...

Those in secondary Year 4, would be able to adapt quite well, as they have to endure only 2 years of Science and Maths in Bahasa Malaysia, before returning to English...but man, my hearts go out to the primary Year 1 and 4 students...

The change of policy was made when apparently there was quite a number of people who requested it, so that the exam statistics would not look all that bad...and their child need not suffer countless hours of candle burning...well, now I'd like to see how they will endure Form 6...or A Levels for that matter!!...

Michael Jackson, IMO

The news that caught the world off guard...

The passing of Michael Jackson...I know I have mentioned about him a few post earlier...at that time, I was not really able to find words that really mirror my thoughts...

Being born in the early 1980s, I will admit that my knowledge of MJ's history is kinda sparse...why, he was touring in Japan when I was just born!!...All I knew about him even till now, are mainly the controversies that engulfed him these recent years...But I must say, though... the proximity of the man portrayed in by media and paparazzi vs the man that touched and changed the lives of millions was, in my opinion...is a little more than disturbing...Those two didn't quite match up and I thought that there could be a missing link...

Michael Jackson didn't become the Michael Jackson we know today, overnight...He was, in truth, what we made him to be...With each performance, each hug, each smile, and each scandal we were taking a part of him to sustain our enormous appetite...He was undeniably a man with an amazing talent, and he was, the superlative musical performer of our era...I am sure most of you would agree...The more he was denied a "normal" existence that we all very well know...the more he turned to his monumental talent to preserve and keep him going...

From the few videos I have seen of him of late...(and yes, I am outdated, I'll admit to that), the way his face would light up when he saw a fan was remarkable, and he always seemed to be very considerate and very generous with his time...He was a man that understood and knew he had the power to change lives and he desired to share this gift with as many people as possible...

While this is often what we expect of those who are extraordinarily talented, many individuals of various stripes fall prey to their narcissistic side that comes with such fame and flattery...while some of this was inevitable with Michael Jackson as well, through his videos and concerts (though I have not watched him performed live)...I observed that he still continued to share himself and his gift with the world in a very selfless manner...He always came off as gentle hearted and generous, going out of his way to be courteous to his fans, often talking with them or giving them hugs when most people in his position would have had them snubbed off and whisked away...

I am not vindicating his personal behavior...He may have caused harm on a number of children, which, if it is true, is completely inexcusable...But I feel that we have to somewhat recognize that we all share certain responsibility for each of those acts...While he may have also had an abusive father and an almost non-existant childhood, we all denied him the chance for human growth in a way that would realigned even the most balanced of individuals...Michael Jackson was clearly a lonely man in pain, and we all share a responsibility for much of that...While the admiration of his millions of fans may have in some way sustained him, this dynamic was only symptomatic of the loneliness and isolation he was forced into...Michael Jackson lived for the adulation of his fans because we witheld him the hope of anything else...We almost categorically denied him the possibility of real and meaningful human connection...Like Janet Jackson has said, to everyone, he would always be Michael Jackson: dancer, singer, icon...but it is only to his family and closest friend, that he was a known as a daddy, a brother and a great friend...He became an image, he became an idea, he became a victim of his gift and genius because we wouldn't permit him to be anything else...We all wanted and demanded more Michael Jackson and he caved into it...

But beneath this image was a human being that yearns to belong...In giving us what we all desired, he was going further and further away from himself, something all us fans seemed unwilling or unable to recognize...And when we finally had a glimpse of the man beneath that mask, it alarmed us that this man was a very lonely and distraught human being, as if he could have become anything else under these circumstances...We screamed for more Michael Jackson (greater moonwalks and anti-gravity steps, pumping grooves, slick dance moves, etc), and while we did get more of him, we also got Michael Joseph Jackson...one which we didn't take the time to understand...And it scared us...And instead of reaching out to the man who first shared his gift with us...we ridiculed him, put him in tabloids, and causing him to become even more reclusive than before...

He lived for us, and once we discarded him for what we had made him, he was understandably broken, lonely, and lost...While he may or may not have engaged in inappropriate behavior with children, in some ways it is understandable that he turned to the friendly company of children because they were most probably the only people he could turn to who would have no ulterior motive...trying to rip some benefit from their relationship, to use his extraordinary talent for their personal gain...Children may be the only ones that could enjoy Michael Joseph Jackson, whereas we were always asking for more of Michael Jackson the performer and artist...

We collectively have become his surrogate parent...and MJ a perpetual child, constantly seeking our approval...He worked tirelessly to earn this approval...when we finally withheld it, not surprisingly, he was alarmed and hurt...

As his physical ailments robbed him of his performance abilities, he became, a man who regularly endured an extraordinary amount of physical, emotional and mental anguish...I think anyone else would have long perished under such circumstances....but not Michael Joseph Jackson...Stripped of the talent that had long sustained him, he turned to prescription drugs and painkillers, and to what little sanctuary he found in the privacy of his own home...

The demise of Michael Jackson seems to have been, in some ways, unavoidable...There is a saying..."The candle that burns brightest also burns fastest"...and Michael Jackson's light was blindingly bright, much to the benefit of us all...But as we stoked the flames and the light burned brighter it inevitably burn out...when the flame was finally extinguished, and the candle ran out, we are left with no one else to blame but ourselves...

I believe that Michael Joseph Jackson was not only a singular, once-in-a-century musical artist and performer, but he was also a sincere and kindhearted being...His greatest flaw (or is it even a flaw??) was that he expected of us what he gave in return...We forced him to create and live in a pseudo-reality that facilitated the offering of his amazing talent and gifts to us, and when he tried share himself with us, he was laughed at and mercilessly criticized and ridiculed...We asked him to live in the funhouse, and when he asked us to join him we scoffed and threw stones through the windows...

Michael Jackson should be remembered first and foremost for the way he changed the lives of millions of people...It will likely be a long time, if ever, before we see another musical performer with the incredible gifts and generosity that he possessed...We made him to appear super-human, and in many ways it seems like he was, but reality bites that he was just as human and just as frail and prone to mistakes as we all are...We were given the gift of this extraordinary man, and thus began the rise and fall, the slow and inevitable erosion, of Michael Jackson...The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, and so it goes...

Rest in Peace, Michael Joseph Jackson...

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood....

- Childhood by Michael Jackson...

Doing the Limbo...

Neil Armstrong phrase following his historical lunar landing "A Small Step for Man...larger step for Mankind"....

Well, after all the big mess, debates, sneering and polls about the decision of scrapping the idea of teaching Science and Maths in English...our Deputy Prime Minister (DPM) have certainly taken us 30 years backwards this afternoon...

So yes, those schools in urban areas can breathe easily...Chinese and Tamil medium schools can walk the corridors smiling and stressed free...now that DPM has reversed our policies after almost 6 years of implementing and emphasizing Science and Maths in English...

This is a nightmare...one that does not go away when the alarm clock is cranked up...one that will further compromise the future of our generation...

In a perfect world, students would be learning all subjects in the best language for them individually, and also learning Malay and English perfectly fine regardless...But there is no such thing as a perfect world...so we can only imagine what is best in the interest of our students, we would have a CONSISTENT policy and competent teachers able to implement this policy...

This being my country Malaysia, and our politics being nincompoop clown performers, what we got was a silly compromise that made nobody very happy, and a paralyzed bureaucracy uninterested in making this policy work...One of the most telling an article (which I have yet to link...can't find it at the moment), which shows only 20% and 10% of secondary and primary school science and maths teachers respectively scored 67 or higher on an evaluation of their English proficiency...

So, it goes to show that their 6 year policy (year 2003-2009) of Science and Maths in English failed...on the other hands, 6 years is barely enough to move mountains...but our DPM decided to steer the wheel the other direction and try a different approach to enhance English learning: English literature will be reintroduced as a subject, along with grammar and composition...(I wonder if that is a misquote by The Star, because that would make a total of four subjects for the English language alone.)...The Minister also said that they would rehire retirees and foreigners if necessary to supply more English teachers...

Maybe teaching science and maths in English is a fatally flawed idea, but we have no way of telling that from this six-year experiment, because the government so thoroughly messed up its implementation!!...(There is also the counter-argument that teaching these subjects in English worked perfectly fine for thousands of schoolkids before we switched to Malay as the national medium of instruction in the 1970s...)...Yes, we have been transiting from Malay to English language for a couple of times now...and still no progress...

So we had a whole generation of students undergoing this massive change, all for nothing...And now we will have another generation of pain as thousands of kids get stuck in educational limbo while the government phases out this failure of a policy...

All this was completely unnecessary...The government could have at least tried to make ETeMS ( English for Teaching Mathematics and Science) policy a success by not virtually sabotaging it, but they did not...they could have increased the allocation of time to English, refocus the curriculum, and hired professional English teachers six years ago, but they did not...

More importantly, the transition to teaching science and maths in English 6 years ago, would have been successful if only they had been patient and first prepared the teachers to use English in the classroom...But they did not...

In short, we spent six years spinning our wheels doing absolutely balls, and we have nothing to show for it...I feel infuriated...I was a victim of this non-policy (I completed my studies in Malay...didn't do all that well, due to rebellion of having to translate all my subjects to English for my understanding)...but to see our future generation going through this limbo game as well...infuriates me all the more...

The Funnies...

Gosh, this brings back my good old teenage days...TOTALLY!!!...*grin*
Have a great week ahead!!...

Twenty Fives...

I am not able to think in paragraphs at the moment...Engine stalled...and my brain modem is hanged...trying to reboot...meanwhile, I'll just write something in strings of sentences...whatever random thoughts that goes through my head...for this coming 25 seconds...starting from...now...

1. I love the screaming colours of dawn and mysterious shades of dusk...But these days/months/years I have been having trouble getting out of bed which results me in being perpetually late...except those excruciating humid days when you've just sweat a bucketful...and its time to change the bed sheet...*Sigh*....

2. I actually feel a lot sometimes/can be quite emotional but I often try not to show it...I tell people this being called being 'professional'...my arse...lying through my teeth...

3. Haven't watched TV for years!!..Partly because my mum used to have this *thing* about watching TV and it being Full Of Trashy Shows...the other part was...ahem...technology...I have changed my focus to computer, Internet...and all the illegal downloads, which gives me much flexibility...I do not have to schedule my time around the tube anymore...

4. My home back in Ipoh...is antiquated...We still have dial-up (only recently, my dad changed it to Broadband...AFTER the herd has left the building...my bros and I), and the cathode ray tube TV that is ? years old. (Refer to point #3.)

5. Am not a fan of shopping/too much girly stuff (books would be an exception), but I think I should learn a bit cos its a thing that seems to unite most girls, like how football unites guys around the world...And also cos...its something one should learn...I am a late bloomer...so tease me about it...then watch how I would enjoy torturing you...

6. (related to #5.) Zero fashion sense...sometimes wish that I could save less on books to buy some decent clothing...that the other way around...nobody seems to be impress with my vast collection of books...though guys would gladly walk around with their tongues hanging out, while checking out a girl with a push up bra and 5 inch stiletto...

7. (also related to #5.) I do like baking and cooking though, but that seems to be becoming not a particularly girly thing in these times...though I must emphasize that I prefer to bake and cook in the comfort of my own home...or with a close friend...I am the boss of my own kitchen...so comments DURING the cooking process is not recommended...its annoying...ever heard of the saying..."Too many cooks spoil the broth"?

9. I like heartwarming movies for a change...Sometimes I feel like there's too much craziness, violence, messed-up-ness and destruction in life already, no need to see some more on the screen...But ironically at other times ,I just don't care...I am thinking that I might be emotionally castrated in some way...

10. I've a kind of wanderlust...Not the travel in comfort sort...If I were a guy in older times, I'd likely have joined a ship's crew and go gallavanting off to foreign lands looking for a near death adventure...Or, a gypsy circus. The trapeze artists are cool!..Heights don't give me thrills...but the adrenaline that kicks in after that does...ah, well...I know what you're thinking...and I completely agree...all talk and no action...which is true...I am sitting in front of a computer...and I can say as and what I want in my blog...put me in a real scene of mutiny and fights...I'll probably grow chicken feet...

11. I have bilateral simian creases on my palm...I wonder what causes these single palmar creases...

13. I love reading...well, I also like the idea of people THINKING that I love reading...*grin*...

14. I kind of like acting (Hallplay!), dancing and singing but I'm not good at any...not at all...I can't do impromptu, I dance like a fridge, and have a voice of a slaughtered cow...

15. It'd be fun to learn tap dancing one day...

16. I am an alto!!...Probably an contralto, in fact...I can reach the C below middle C... which is kind of low for a girl?...I used to think that altos were inferior cz someone said they don't get the nice melody lines that stand out (the horribly misguided youth i was), but I've since left that misconception behind...*grin*

17. I like the outdoors, sailing, kayaking, camping, trekking, nature, and animals, especially birds...but I have done none of the above...trekking, yes...camping...well, does staying in a dorm near a jungle count?...

18. I have been cycling ever since I waned out of my pacifier and pampers...then as I grew up, I started cycling to places, since my parents was never free to drive me around for my activities...though I must say I have yet to go any place outside a 20km radius with my bicycle...I will put that in my to-do list...sometime soon...

20. I used to climb roofs, and trees at home/in school...that totally contradicts the fact that I have fear of heights, doesn't it?...I didn't have a choice...I was a tomboy then...and with all the rough games I was playing with the boys...and my shoes that were too big for my feet (my mum kept buying me shoes a size bigger, cz she was afraid I would outgrow them soon...I am still a size 3 now...)...somehow during the game, in the midst of kicking and all...my shoes would take a trip of their own sailing through trees and leaves...to land on the school roof...It was either death through heights...or facing the wrath Queen Mama of the House...I chose heights...I managed to retrieve it at times...other times, not...My mum had to buy me 4 pairs of school shoes that year...after having found my shoes mysteriously disappearing all the time...

21. As a result of having communicating more with kids than adults, I have lost the ability to communicate comfortably with the senior citizens...I find myself struggling to correct my grammar...and change my voice to a much gentler tone...I am like a kid that would not grow up...

22. I think it'd be cool to fly a plane, especially those fighter/acrobatic planes...Rarr...Should have tried applying to be a pilot....but I would not have made it anyway...thanks to my parents' genes that decides I should look behind a lense all the time...

23. (related to #21) Having said that, I'd like to learn to like kids...it does not come very naturally for me...I care for them because its my responsibility...but annoying, spoilt brats are really difficult to embrace...still workin' on it...

24. If I could live the last 7 years of my life again, I would do things VERY differently....But as Prof S says, things always look clear through a retrospectoscope, but when you're in the process its a different matter...And I is thankful for the friends who have walked with me during this very, very long winter...

25. And lastly, yes...before you attempt to correct me, allow me to clarify that I am very well aware that I missed out a few numbers while I was listing these "Twenty Fives"...and no, it was not a fleeting accident...in fact, it was purposefully done with a good purpose...I've said it before...but I'll just say it again...

"Engine stalled...and my brain modem is hanged...trying to reboot..."

Note : I have not been blogging for a month now, after having taken 'sabbatical leave'...no excuses for my absence...July is a crazy month...and I needed a break before to clear my brain memory space...and reformat...as you can see, this leave has made me a slight retard, when it comes to sharing and deciding how to string my sentences...a couple more post, and hopefully I'll be back in shape...*fingers crossed*...

He is out of my life...

One of my earliest memories besides London Bridge, Ten Little Indians...Cyndi Lauper's "Time after Time" (my mom puts it on EVERYDAY while she does her DIY aerobics...so much so, I still have that song twitching in my head involuntarily)...was Michael Jackson's ever famous Beat It...which in my opinion, is still one of the groovy and rhythmic piece then...and still is now...

Fame now comes cheap...Take Paris Hilton for example...a blond airhead, who squeezes fame out of every opportunity...zero character and substance...but Michael Jackson has earned it though talent, amazing charisma and spirit...though as time passed, with much deviate and strange behaviour...and the curious case of child molestation or not...

Put any weight as you want on his qualities, but there is one sure thing...Jackson is...sorry, was...a singular talent who has stunned the world with his amazing singing...his moonwalk, crotch grabbing and thrusting and jerky body movements...and his ability to mesmerize with the crowd with his groove...

Over the years of my teenage life, he had a way of 'dropping by' in my universe...be it a marriage, or a divorce...court cases...and a performance where a chick would faint on his feet, etc...but as time passed by, other things started to interest me...and I slowly outgrew the hype of it all...I didn't have the chance to anyway...my family weren't financial able, to buy me MJ's casette album...and Internet never existed back then...

Then came MTV...I remember thinking “Billie Jean” was one of the first music videos that actually looked professional...Jackson was stunning, sharp, sophisticated...His moonwalking was perfect...his anti-gravity lean was superb...He revolutionalized MTV, the music cable channel, with his plots and storylines, instead of mere lip-synching videos...

But one thing I will always remember of him, is the depths of emotion he placed in his songs, and the words that were composed...inspirational songs that brings attention to the tearing down of racial division...that "it doesn't matter if its black or white"..."They don't really care about us"...all great songs that I have tapped my feet to...

Even when he was caught up in controversy over child molest claims, I could not help thinking that money was the driving force behind these allegations...while he was a victim to greedy accountants and lawyers...or he may be guilty as charged...I guess we will never know...

Having said that, I have truly been enriched by his music...from a fellow musician to another, I do admire his talent and sympathize with him for the spiral fall of his career which he so desperately wanted to reclaim, but never saw fulfilled...

MJ has reminded us about love and unity, much more than politicians can...For this, I know his music will continue to live on...

The fans won’t stop even if they have gotten enough...

I’m starting with the man in the mirror,

I’m asking him to change his ways.

No message could have been clearer,

If you wanna make the world a better place.

Take a look at yourself and make a change.

- Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

I could not have said it better...

Note : Well, he isn't entirely out of my life per se...His pumping rock tunes keep my blood pressure steady, especially when I am on the road surrounded by idiots...or when I am hitting the gym...and there is a screamer beside me 'enjoying' multiple 'orgasms'...